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I cannot stand this anymore.

Posted by on Mar. 7, 2014 at 5:33 AM
  • 39 Replies
1 mom liked this
My 20 year old son decided to move out two years ago because he didn't want to live by our house rules. He worked, yes, but he spent all of his money and clothes, pot, and cigarettes. Now he's having a health crisis. It's not disabling him from working but he is leaning on it and hasn't worked for a month. Now his rent is due and he wants me to pay it. Says he's going to be homeless.

He has done this his entire life, expected everyone to take up for him, do it for him, etc. I don't want to do it anymore. What do you think? Give him the four hundred for rent or tell him tough!

And before women want to start bashing me and saying I created this issue, I have two other straight A gifted hardworking kids.

Thanks
by on Mar. 7, 2014 at 5:33 AM
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Replies (1-10):
imyourPuppy
by Member on Mar. 7, 2014 at 5:36 AM
OK???! Hmm!
I'm not you, but if it was my child, I will give him my last penny. But that's just me. IDK?
143myboys9496
by Gold Member on Mar. 7, 2014 at 5:38 AM

If he were my child, I'd pay his rent. But I'd also talk with him about going back to work or coming back home to live because it won't be a regular thing.

Lifeisadream
by on Mar. 7, 2014 at 5:40 AM
We've had that talk many times. It always comes to this.

Quoting 143myboys9496:

If he were my child, I'd pay his rent. But I'd also talk with him about going back to work or coming back home to live because it won't be a regular thing.

Lifeisadream
by on Mar. 7, 2014 at 5:41 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm curious, why would you give another adult money that you earn so that adult can sit and play video games all day?

Quoting imyourPuppy: OK???! Hmm!
I'm not you, but if it was my child, I will give him my last penny. But that's just me. IDK?
Lifeisadream
by on Mar. 7, 2014 at 5:42 AM
And he is not allowed to come live with us because he has stolen from us in the past.

Quoting 143myboys9496:

If he were my child, I'd pay his rent. But I'd also talk with him about going back to work or coming back home to live because it won't be a regular thing.

imyourPuppy
by Member on Mar. 7, 2014 at 5:42 AM
If the adult was my child, yes. But I hope I'm raising my children better than that.

Quoting Lifeisadream: I'm curious, why would you give another adult money that you earn so that adult can sit and play video games all day?

Quoting imyourPuppy: OK???! Hmm!
I'm not you, but if it was my child, I will give him my last penny. But that's just me. IDK?
143myboys9496
by Gold Member on Mar. 7, 2014 at 5:43 AM

Well then, sounds like he needs to get his butt back to work..

Quoting Lifeisadream: And he is not allowed to come live with us because he has stolen from us in the past.
Quoting 143myboys9496:

If he were my child, I'd pay his rent. But I'd also talk with him about going back to work or coming back home to live because it won't be a regular thing.


Lifeisadream
by on Mar. 7, 2014 at 5:44 AM
He is an adult with his own free will. My other two are straight a honor students with all the attributes that go with it. It's nothing I did or didn't do. I won't be held responsible for his poor choices.

Quoting imyourPuppy: If the adult was my child, yes. But I hope I'm raising my children better than that.

Quoting Lifeisadream: I'm curious, why would you give another adult money that you earn so that adult can sit and play video games all day?

Quoting imyourPuppy: OK???! Hmm!
I'm not you, but if it was my child, I will give him my last penny. But that's just me. IDK?
imyourPuppy
by Member on Mar. 7, 2014 at 5:45 AM
OK, and that's fine. You do what feels right for you.

Quoting Lifeisadream: He is an adult with his own free will. My other two are straight a honor students with all the attributes that go with it. It's nothing I did or didn't do. I won't be held responsible for his poor choices.

Quoting imyourPuppy: If the adult was my child, yes. But I hope I'm raising my children better than that.

Quoting Lifeisadream: I'm curious, why would you give another adult money that you earn so that adult can sit and play video games all day?

Quoting imyourPuppy: OK???! Hmm!
I'm not you, but if it was my child, I will give him my last penny. But that's just me. IDK?
Udella
by on Mar. 7, 2014 at 6:48 AM
8 moms liked this

No I would not. He is an adult who has found himself in an unfortunate situation who now must figure out how to solve it. You can sympathize with him...Gee thats really tough but we juts don;t have spare money to give you...but don't enable him. If you pay the rent you enable him to continue not living up to his responsibilities and take care of himself. I sincerely doubt he will go homeless, there are always friends houses he can stay at if he can't abide by your rules. If he burns all those bridges because he can't act like a proper adult, whose fault is that.


My parents have this issue with my older brother, they have 2 other children who are productive members of society and then him - they couldn't stop bailing him out as he grew into adulthood. He can't pay his his bills, but spends money on 'fun' things. Doesn't have grocery money but has money for his girls to go to the movies. You don't want to be bailing your son out when he's 44 - trust me.

It would be one thing if your son was super hard working, fell on hard times temporarily and needed a little help but he doesn't sound like he's proven himself. If he could follow rules he'd be living for free at your house right?


To all the moms who answered...I'd pay his rent.....when would you stop paying it? Helicoptor parentling enables your child and prevents them for taking responsibility. Please don't put those people into our society - we need productive people who can problem solve for themselves...not expect everyone else to help them out.


I have 3 - 21, 22, 23 and each is responsible for what they are doing. We don't pay for luxuries and we don't pay for cars, gas or insurance. We let them live free in our home if they want to follow the rules with all the love, free food, internet, cable and warm water they want. We also pay for college if they choose to go. 2 work full time and 1 part time...so far so good. We have to remind them occasionally that they get all those things for free, thank goodness they don't have to pay for rent, food or cable bills.

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