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Two churches for kids?

Posted by on Mar. 9, 2014 at 12:27 PM
  • 16 Replies
I am in the process of getting a divorce and my soon to be ex is Catholic. We've always gone to his church and the kids have. The kids, ages 5&7, also go to his church's private school. I am not Catholic and am looking for a non-denominational church to attend. Their dad isn't really open to them going to a non-catholic church. While I think it would be good for them to see that there are choices when it comes to how to celebrate and worship Christ. So, would that be too confusing for them to go to two different churches and as they get older, they could then decide for themselves?
by on Mar. 9, 2014 at 12:27 PM
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Replies (1-10):
romanceparty4u
by on Mar. 9, 2014 at 1:06 PM
1 mom liked this

not at all.

I attended a variety of Churches behind my parents back when I was a preteen and teen. Figured if they weren't gonna take me, I'd find some stuff out on my own.

lacreshaj
by on Mar. 9, 2014 at 1:31 PM
I was raised baptist but I was also taught about other denominations and religions. I don't think it will hurt them. They should be able to choose when they are older. My kids and I are Christian. My husband was raised catholic and is now a Christian so everyone should have the right to choose no matter their age.

Quoting Texasgal99: I am in the process of getting a divorce and my soon to be ex is Catholic. We've always gone to his church and the kids have. The kids, ages 5&7, also go to his church's private school. I am not Catholic and am looking for a non-denominational church to attend. Their dad isn't really open to them going to a non-catholic church. While I think it would be good for them to see that there are choices when it comes to how to celebrate and worship Christ. So, would that be too confusing for them to go to two different churches and as they get older, they could then decide for themselves?
Molimomma
by Member on Mar. 9, 2014 at 1:47 PM

Ummmm, when my parents divorced they were essentially excommunicated from the church. The priest wouldn't even see my mother before her cancer surgery because she was divorced. I'm surprised they would be accepting of your ex husband and the kids. I guess maybe things have changed in the last decade. Either way though, the kids can certainly go to different churches. They may feel more comfortable with one or the other as they get older but I think that's ok. Catholic and non denominational aren't that different but Catholic is often more formal and there are the sacraments like holy communion and confirmation that other religions don't do but not sure they would allow your kids to participate in that stuff anyway. I think the only problem would really be deal with your ex who sounds like he is against the idea.

frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Mar. 9, 2014 at 1:49 PM

I do not think it will hurt them and I am not sure ex can dictate where they go on the days they are with you.

bellawomen
by Summer on Mar. 9, 2014 at 1:52 PM
Just make sure he doesn't slip it in your divorce decree.
Sportbominable
by Platinum Member on Mar. 9, 2014 at 2:04 PM
1 mom liked this

Yes. If they were being raised Catholic and attended Catholic school and Catholic mass, you need to continue that for them especially if that is what their father wants. As a Catholic, it is his job to raise them in the faith. 

calsmom62
by Silver Member on Mar. 9, 2014 at 3:12 PM
my parents sent me to any church for sunday school or ccd or choir. they didnt really attend but could be counted on to write a donation check to the clergy. I ended up having a really good biblical foundation and am a semi expert in comparative religion lol. as an adult I got to decide my own path. I think whatever you decide will be fine but the most important thing is to not use this one thing as a weapon in a divorce.
elasmimi
by Platinum Member on Mar. 9, 2014 at 6:51 PM

I don't know where you are, but it has been different than this for many decades. My sil was divorced in the 60's, and since she did not remarry, there were no consequences, in fact she taught in Catholic school til she retired 3 years ago. the "sin" is not in the divorce, it is in the remarriage. I'm sorry this happened to your family.

Quoting Molimomma:

Ummmm, when my parents divorced they were essentially excommunicated from the church. The priest wouldn't even see my mother before her cancer surgery because she was divorced. I'm surprised they would be accepting of your ex husband and the kids. I guess maybe things have changed in the last decade. Either way though, the kids can certainly go to different churches. They may feel more comfortable with one or the other as they get older but I think that's ok. Catholic and non denominational aren't that different but Catholic is often more formal and there are the sacraments like holy communion and confirmation that other religions don't do but not sure they would allow your kids to participate in that stuff anyway. I think the only problem would really be deal with your ex who sounds like he is against the idea.


elasmimi
by Platinum Member on Mar. 9, 2014 at 6:59 PM

I am afraid I can't give you an objective answer, being Catholic myself. I do not really like for my 7 y/o to attend protestant churches, because it is hard at this age to explain to them why some people do things differently. Also, I don't want them hurt by remarks like those made by lacreshaj a few posts earlier. Catholics are Christians, have been for 2000 years, long before there were Protestant denominations, and I do not understand why people think we are not. When she is older, she can sort it out for herself, and I will have no objection. But I don't think he can legally stop you.

Molimomma
by Member on Mar. 9, 2014 at 8:13 PM

This was in FL, in 1994. My mom was really hurt and offended, and needless to say it was not a good way to start off the difficult fight through surgery, recovery and survival. Maybe this particular priest was "old school" or something but it is something neither she nor I ever forgot. My mom was not only raised Catholic but went to Catholic school clean through college. She never remarried(never wanted to). I wasn't there at the time(I was a freshman in high school and her co-workers had arranged it) but I thought it was really cruel and unnesseccary.

Quoting elasmimi:

I don't know where you are, but it has been different than this for many decades. My sil was divorced in the 60's, and since she did not remarry, there were no consequences, in fact she taught in Catholic school til she retired 3 years ago. the "sin" is not in the divorce, it is in the remarriage. I'm sorry this happened to your family.

Quoting Molimomma:

Ummmm, when my parents divorced they were essentially excommunicated from the church. The priest wouldn't even see my mother before her cancer surgery because she was divorced. I'm surprised they would be accepting of your ex husband and the kids. I guess maybe things have changed in the last decade. Either way though, the kids can certainly go to different churches. They may feel more comfortable with one or the other as they get older but I think that's ok. Catholic and non denominational aren't that different but Catholic is often more formal and there are the sacraments like holy communion and confirmation that other religions don't do but not sure they would allow your kids to participate in that stuff anyway. I think the only problem would really be deal with your ex who sounds like he is against the idea.


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