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Mean husband. Divorce??

Posted by on Mar. 12, 2014 at 12:53 PM
  • 27 Replies
I'm a mother of 13 yr old twins from my first marriage. I've been remarried for 18 months. My husband is not the same man I met when we first started dating.
He is so mean and disrespectful to me in front of my daughters, he cusses constantly as well. I don't mean the words "damn" or " sh**." The "f" word and the "n" word are used on a daily basis. He even taught them a "new" word... "qu***" when referring to gays or lesbians. IT'S AWFUL!! Behind closed doors he yells at me as well. All the while saying, "GD", "MF", bitch, the "f" word, etc.... He threatens divorce at least once a week, and then turns it around on me by asking, " Is that what you want?" He called me a "worthless bitch" and " a worthless piece of sh**", luckily my girls weren't home to hear that. Once, he referred to my girls hair in the bathtub as, "cu** hair"! To me, that is one of the grossest, ugliest, and most vulgar things he could have said! (They didn't hear it, thank goodness.) I'm a stay home mom, so he usually gives me a credit card to keep in my wallet to use for groceries, gas, etc... On occasion, unbeknownst to me, he has taken it out of my wallet. I've experienced more than one "surprises" when I go to check out at the store. Fortunately, I've had some cash to cover the amount, or I've noticed beforehand that the card was gone. He usually "summons" me upstairs when he is in bed or getting ready for bed. Once, he called me upstairs...I went. He wanted me to pull up the bed comforter up for him b/c he was cold! He calls me on my cell phone all the time. I have to text him when I leave somewhere and then when I get home or to my destination.
These things may seem trivial, but hearing them and living them are very different. I could give more examples of him pouting, yelling, threatening (in front of my daughters) to get rid of our pets, threatening to shut off (close the account) their phones if they don't clean their rooms. He is a big bully, to put it mildly. Every day we wait to see what kind of mood he's in.
I don't like my girls hearing all of this and experiencing this on a daily basis. I've tried to talk to him about it. I've begged and pleaded, but to no avail. The only option to get away from all of this is to get a divorce. I'm a teacher, so I can support my girls, etc... I'm scared of the unknown, but I know I can do it. Luckily, I'm blessed with caring parents that would help me if I needed a little bit of financial help.
I know he's abusive....verbally and emotionally. My blood pressure and my overall health are suffering. My daughters get upset and are stressed constantly.
Is financial security by staying married worth all of this? I filed for divorce, but he doesn't know it yet. My dad and my brother are my attorneys, and they say to get it done. I'm scared of the unknown. Am I doing the right thing??
by on Mar. 12, 2014 at 12:53 PM
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Replies (1-10):
beadingmom17
by Rachel on Mar. 12, 2014 at 12:57 PM
3 moms liked this
He is abusive and you need to get out of there. Find a lawyer and file for divorce. Do not give him any warning. Is there somewhere you and your girls can go? Unless you own the house. Then put his shit on the lawn and change the locks.
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dalbax2
by on Mar. 12, 2014 at 2:03 PM
2 moms liked this
GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE!!!! Dont look back. Hes an ass and it could get worse. You need to protect yourself and your girls.
nerdymom28
by Silver Member on Mar. 12, 2014 at 2:22 PM
3 moms liked this

 These things are NOT trivial. This is spousal abuse, plain and simple. Give him that divorce he wants so bad...he isn't going to change.

michelle71115
by on Mar. 12, 2014 at 3:35 PM
2 moms liked this

Since you say that you have tried talking to him multiple times I think you know what to do. Just leave, no amount of financial security is worth you and your children's mental health. Do you want your daughters with a man like this? If the answer is no then show them the way to make sure that don't happen.

jrice110
by on Mar. 12, 2014 at 4:43 PM
Thank you so much for your input. I really appreciate it.
michelle71115
by on Mar. 12, 2014 at 4:44 PM
1 mom liked this

Good luck, it is never easy going through something like this!

jrice110
by on Mar. 12, 2014 at 4:46 PM
Thank you!!
katiebug840204
by Gold Member on Mar. 12, 2014 at 4:46 PM
1 mom liked this
You need to leave. I'm willing to bet physical abuse will be next. I'm so sorry you are going through all this!
TS9509
by Member on Mar. 12, 2014 at 4:47 PM
1 mom liked this
You are definitely doing the right thing! If you haven't done so already please take you and your daughters to a safe place before he finds out about the divorce. If he has ever been physically abusive also get a restraining order.
coolmommy2x
by Ruby Member on Mar. 12, 2014 at 4:48 PM
1 mom liked this
Leave before your girls start to think this is how husbands treat their wives. If he won't get counseling (to work out whatever brought this change on), get a divorce.
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