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Ex-DH passed away...

Posted by on Mar. 14, 2014 at 11:48 AM
  • 34 Replies
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My DS #1's father died in his sleep the night before last.  He was only 29 and so far the cause was unknown.  He had majority custody of DS #1 so now he is with me, of course, and I'm just dubfounded.  Luckily my ex's g/f found him and my DS did not. My son is 7 but he's delayed and he does not understand.  He asked me if his daddy got killed and I told him no, he just passed away.  But he does not understand.  We separated in the fall of 2012 and I've since re-married and had DS #2.  I was definitely not in love with him anymore, but we were married for 8 years and it was just very sudden. Is there anyone who has ever dealt with this that has any advice?  My DH lives in another state so I'm handling it all alone.

by on Mar. 14, 2014 at 11:48 AM
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Replies (1-10):
quirky_mama
by Member on Mar. 14, 2014 at 11:53 AM

I'm so sorry. No advice to give but my prayers go out to you!

kns2004
by Member on Mar. 14, 2014 at 11:54 AM
Im so sorry :(
ColoradoMom86
by Member on Mar. 14, 2014 at 11:54 AM

Thank you very much.  My son and his dad were very close and I know he's going to miss him very badly :(  It just breaks my heart for him.  And I'm sad for my ex that he won't get to see our son grow.  He loved him more than anything.

Quoting quirky_mama:

I'm so sorry. No advice to give but my prayers go out to you!


Hottmomma607
by Trica on Mar. 14, 2014 at 11:58 AM
So sorry! ((Hugs))
Just awful. :-(
proudmommy690
by Platinum Member on Mar. 14, 2014 at 11:59 AM
Sad. :(
Molimomma
by Member on Mar. 14, 2014 at 11:59 AM
1 mom liked this

I don't have much but one thing I will say is please be careful not to tell(or have anyone else tell) your son that his daddy died in his sleep OR he just went to sleep forever. This can lead a child to be afraid to go to sleep for fear they will die too! A friend of mine lost a child to SIDS and her older daughter was terrified she would die in her sleep too because she didn't understand what happened but she knew the baby died in her crib. Just wanted to warn you in case, it happens and it's hard dealing with death with a young child, it's a hard thing to understand.

greeneyedmomx2
by on Mar. 14, 2014 at 12:06 PM

no advice just thoughts and prayers

terpmama
by Gold Member on Mar. 14, 2014 at 12:24 PM
Maybe seek out a child grief counselor... They may be able to guide you. I would help him make a photo scrapbook of him and daddy. Also there is an old tradition (Native American but I can't remember which nation)... That you write or draw your loved ones messages and then light them on fire... The smoke carries the messages to them.
little.worthen
by Tess on Mar. 14, 2014 at 12:37 PM

i dont know what i would say to my son. thats crazy. maybe if you made something in his dads memory with him like a scrapbook or special box or something like that, it may be something he will be grateful for (= good luck. sorry this happened.

ETA: my mom used to take my sisters and i to release balloons for people that had died once a year. that may be something cool you could do to honor him too.

emtgirl885
by Silver Member on Mar. 15, 2014 at 7:18 AM
1 mom liked this
I am sorry. Hugs and prayers!
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