I have a two year old son from my previous relationship and I currently stay at home to care for him (on welfare) I use to love being a sahm until moving in with my new man and realising he doesn't make enough for him to live comfortably, let alone a family of 3. So I have been applying for work and I start college classes in the summer. It's good for me becuase I've never been proud of being on welfare.
I'm terrified of introducing this guy to my father. My dad has put so much faith in me to do the best for my son and I, so I already feel like a big disappointment with this news. No matter how much I try to stay positive I can't help but feel ashamed. I am so depressed. My man has no desire to get a better job or a second one. He currelty works 4 or 5 hours a day, only 5 days a week at minimum wage. He doesn't have a car (neither do I) and the biggest thing that has driven me to start working is that he does nothing to help out around the house. When I ask him to clean up his mess that has been sitting for 3 days he cleans up half ass. Its so frustrating for me always cooking and cleaning and all he does is play videogames, draws, or plays his guitar. He will say he will clean something up but after starring at it for hours I end up doing it. It's exhausting taking care of myself, a two year old and now a grown ass man who thinks that all he does is work and wishes he spent more time at home..smh
I do not have the best of luck when picking out a man. I love this man and I accepted his struggle, that wasn't a big deal to me, but now that another child is about to be invloved I am mortified. Out of all my friends I am the poorest, I don't have nice things, I don't have a nice house or a car. The daily stuggle with just one child is really a lot as it is.
All I ever wanted is stability and being able to give my family everything they need and desire. Everything has happened so fast and I am not anywhere near where I want to be with my life, I am so scared and so depressed..