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Why do my kids act different aound me?

Posted by on Mar. 17, 2014 at 6:27 PM
  • 7 Replies

So I'm a mother to a 4 1/2 years old  boy and a 28 month old girl, I work full time and my husband is a stay at home dad (not by choice) so I spend about 3 hrs per day during the week days and the whole day on weekends. So husband spends the majority of the day with them and my mom watches them occasionally the whole day here and there. I had my husband tell me on several occasions that our kids act out and miss behave when I'm around or come home, He tells they sit down and eat with out getting up or making a mess but when i get home its a different story. I cant tell any difference because they act the same way when ever I'm around. He told me joking "they run you" I don't feel that way, I don't let them do whatever they want. I come home sometimes and if they're doing something they re not suppose to be doing they get disciplined, either time out or no tv time or tablet for the rest of the evening. So I didn't let that bother me much up until my mother watched them today. My mother lives about 5 min away from work so I stopped in to hangout with them for my lunch break, my daughter start messing with her brother (like they always do) she pushes him and then he pushed her she falls and starts crying I pick her up told her and my son no pushing be nice! but still continued to comfort her. My mother start telling me how they don't act out and they don't act the way they were acting when I'm not around. I'm like clueless on what her and my husband are saying, like what I'm I doing wrong? what can I do? not come around wth? I cant help but feel like I'm being a bad parent and the husband and mother aren't helping either :(

by on Mar. 17, 2014 at 6:27 PM
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Replies (1-7):
withsecond
by on Mar. 17, 2014 at 7:23 PM

I have no idea. 

My husband isn't home most of the day and only gets to spend about an hour each night with the kids and the whole weekend with them but they don't act out when he's around. 

Maybe they're trying to get more attention from you? I don't really know. Maybe they're just more excited when they see you and it comes out in bad behavior?

smb72310
by on Mar. 17, 2014 at 7:24 PM
1 mom liked this

I know how you feel. My dauther will do this when she comes home. I feel like she does it because she gets so much atention at her dads how than she does at mine. I am a full time student so she is in daycare during the day and at his house on the weekends. I feel like she does it to just push the limits and see how far she can go but at the same time we dont get along so i think she can feel that. I am aslo at a loss on what to do.

calsmom62
by Silver Member on Mar. 17, 2014 at 8:00 PM
1 mom liked this
it is very common but most references about this talk about how when dad comes home the house gets chaotic around dinner time and moms say " the kids get so riled up when dad comes home ". you are changing the routine of the day. you are the "new" event after a day with dad or grandma. You might want to try to come home every time and establush a routine that both relieves your dh or grandma of duty and gives your kids your undivided attention for example. sit down with them quietly. maybe have sharing time where in turn they talk about their day Or maybe have a story to read.
lovezraim
by on Mar. 17, 2014 at 11:25 PM
I think kids are very smart and they can test us to see how much they can get away with according to the parent. Another thing to that I've heard is they know momma has a big heart and is more forgiving. Hope we both find the answer and what suits both of our families. Best luck:)

Quoting smb72310:

I know how you feel. My dauther will do this when she comes home. I feel like she does it because she gets so much atention at her dads how than she does at mine. I am a full time student so she is in daycare during the day and at his house on the weekends. I feel like she does it to just push the limits and see how far she can go but at the same time we dont get along so i think she can feel that. I am aslo at a loss on what to do.

lovezraim
by on Mar. 17, 2014 at 11:29 PM
1 mom liked this
I think your right, It's funny because today I did just that. I sat on the floor with both of my kids and at first they wouldn't sit still, they wanted to wrestle haha So I started telling them a story and they started to calm down.

Quoting calsmom62: it is very common but most references about this talk about how when dad comes home the house gets chaotic around dinner time and moms say " the kids get so riled up when dad comes home ". you are changing the routine of the day. you are the "new" event after a day with dad or grandma. You might want to try to come home every time and establush a routine that both relieves your dh or grandma of duty and gives your kids your undivided attention for example. sit down with them quietly. maybe have sharing time where in turn they talk about their day Or maybe have a story to read.
Blessed2585
by Member on Mar. 18, 2014 at 5:21 PM

I am sorry this is happening. Could they just be acting out to get attention? I think this might be a good question for a counselor. I know that Focus on the Family has free licensed parenting counseling that you can call at 1800-A-Family. I have called them before and they are great. I know they would love to come along side you and help in anyway they can.

frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Mar. 18, 2014 at 6:37 PM

I think it is all about attention and seeing if you will be consistent in the routine like the other adults.  I like that you started a story while they were still playing around so that they could decide to calm down and listen rather than you trying to corral them into a story.

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