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Expecting my first child in a few weeks!!

Posted by on Mar. 19, 2014 at 5:59 PM
  • 9 Replies
2 moms liked this

Hello moms, I'm new to CafeMom and also new to motherhood. My baby boy, Joshua will be here in a few weeks and I can't be more excited. But lately I've been under alot of stress dealing with the father of my child, he is 24 to my 21, and he doesn't seem to be taking on the role that is to come. Is it wrong for me to ask him to grow up? 

by on Mar. 19, 2014 at 5:59 PM
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Replies (1-9):
ashleyzeedar
by on Mar. 19, 2014 at 6:47 PM
Not at all! He needs to step up
Bmat
by Ruby Member on Mar. 19, 2014 at 7:20 PM

Welcome!

Don't be critical of your partner. He is under stress also. It will probably take him a while even after Joshua is born to get used to the idea of being a daddy. Once little Joshua holds his finger and laughs into his eyes, things will start to change. Even then,  guide your partner, don't demand or criticize. Saying something like "grow up" will have only the effect of alienating him. Instead tell him a specific task or attitude that would make you more comfortable for him to have. Don't say it as though it is a failing on his part, it will only turn him off.

funhappymom
by on Mar. 20, 2014 at 7:58 AM

This...this exactly.

Quoting Bmat:

Welcome!

Don't be critical of your partner. He is under stress also. It will probably take him a while even after Joshua is born to get used to the idea of being a daddy. Once little Joshua holds his finger and laughs into his eyes, things will start to change. Even then,  guide your partner, don't demand or criticize. Saying something like "grow up" will have only the effect of alienating him. Instead tell him a specific task or attitude that would make you more comfortable for him to have. Don't say it as though it is a failing on his part, it will only turn him off.


LancesMom
by Ruby Member on Mar. 20, 2014 at 9:53 AM

You will notice Dad taking more of a roll when your child gets to toddler age. He is just as scared and worried as you are and probably more afraid of doing something wrong.

Learn together, try to get him into feedings, Drs visits, Daddy time (where its just him and the baby bonding!)

Congratulations!


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amonkeymom
by Platinum Member on Mar. 20, 2014 at 1:19 PM

That's so exciting, congratulations!

Often times, men don't really realize what's to come until they hold their new baby for the first time.  But also, some men just really don't grow up and it's likely that while he might be a help with the baby, etc, he might also still want to hang out with his friends and not change his life as much as you must. (((hug)))

emtgirl885
by Silver Member on Mar. 20, 2014 at 8:52 PM
Congratulations!
He should step up.
greenfrog085
by on Mar. 20, 2014 at 8:55 PM
Congrats
Iam_jazz
by on Mar. 20, 2014 at 9:50 PM
No not at all he knows what is going to happen & he needs to grow. As being in a relationship you should be able to tell each other how you feel. So just sit him done & tell him how you feel.
HazelEyedmOmma2
by on Mar. 20, 2014 at 9:52 PM

Welcome & Congrats on the new Baby,I am guessing once your little man is born then Daddy will grow up,but no it is not wrong for You to ask Him.Good Luck..

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