20yr old son's girlfriend - She is going to be the death of me.
I am writing this with hope I can get some good advice on what to do even though I know deep down in my heart what the answer will be. Here it goes.
My son who is 20 has been dating this girl (18) for about 8 months now. My husband and I have never had this deep down feel good about her but we kept our mouths shut with the hopes that whatever this feeling was would go away. After a couple of months went by his older sister (21) who was away at college came home and she expressed to me the same feeling however none of us could put a finger on it. Well as time went by me and husband began to catch her in lies, lies that were dumb to ever lie about, then she seemed to want all of my sons attention, she became very controlling to the point of having him delete people from his social media circle that she did not want him to associate with, she is very jealous and they are constantly arguing with each other Because of all this I begin to find about her family life and to say the word colorful would be doing it justice. Someone who knows this family explain to me about her family life not to make me dislike her but so that I could have a better understand of why she was the way she was. She is very insecure, and manipulative. This, my husband and I have witness for ourselves. This is my son's first love, which makes this worse. With all this said the approach I took was to have her around our family alot and that maybe she would begin to see that life as she knows it can change an be another way plus if he every married her I did not want to be apart from my son's life. I would also talk to my son and point out some of the things that she did or lies she said and would tell him that he needed to help her by paying attention to what she is saying and doing because if he called her out on these things maybe she would stop. I never told him to break up with her and stop seeing her. UNTIL.......
The beginning of this month we were all at a parade. My son, his girlfriend and their friends along with his sister. My husband and I were at this parade too however they were all at a different place. During the parade my daughter comes running down the parade route crying saying that my son's girlfriend pushed him off an ice chest he was standing on in back of a truck and he fell on the concrete and hit is head. By the grace of God he was fine. My daughter said she jumped out of the truck and down by her brother and the girlfriend jumps down and tries to come near him, my daughter told her to please go leave that she pushed her brother and tried to hurt him and of course the girlfriend would not listen so my daughter ended up in a physical fight with this girl. My daughter is 21 and has never been in any sort of situation like this before so this was all new.
After all of this my husband and I sat my son down and explained to him about toxic relationships, we gave him examples of people we knew who had been in them and still are and how this is not good and for him we pointed out what we observed with her and asked how a relationship like this could be fun or healthy. Not to mention that the physical part could happen again and I told him my gut told me that she has become physical with him before and he did not say anything. We told him that seeing her would be his choice we could not tell him who to see however he did live in our house and that we (me, my husband, daughter) did not want to have anything to do with her. I explained to him that he also had his sister he would have to deal with because she saw what happened and her push him and to this day cannot get it out of mind. She never wishes to see this girl again. So he had some choices he had to make.
In the meantime this girl would not stop calling, txing, etc. She sent me a tx apologizing and admitted to pushing him because she was mad and they had be fighting all that day, but did not mean to hurt him. She sent a similar tx to my daughter, we never responded. He broke up with her but in the last week I have found out they are still seeing each other and I am at my wits end. I just pray alot and I don't know where to go from here. My son does not know that we all know what is going on. My gut says to just play along and see where goes. Any thoughts or anyone been in this type of situation. No matter how many times I have talked to my son all he will say is that yes she pushed him but she really did not mean too she was just real upset and people make mistakes