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totally lost and just want conversation

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Just want to chat. Feeling lost and confused and scared of the future.
by on Mar. 21, 2014 at 8:37 PM
Replies (21-28):
deenicole
by on Mar. 23, 2014 at 12:04 AM
Hes a good guy for most part . He has full custody of his older son bc the mom and son donot get along. And he gets along with the girls mom although I think its bc she has no backbone. I dont have problems with him spending time with them, my problem Iis because we all used to do things and go places together now all of a sudden he claims its bc the other two are older and want to do stuff and our son is too young. But I mean he will seriously take them out to eat at like red robin which is down the street and doesnt care to ask if me and my son want to go to. It drives me nuts.
CrossStitchMum
by Member on Mar. 23, 2014 at 12:26 AM
((Hugs)) mama
graybealgirl
by Silver Member on Mar. 23, 2014 at 12:26 AM


Quoting 1frog:

 If you feel like telling us more maybe we can help.


hugs

deenicole
by on Mar. 23, 2014 at 8:31 AM
Thank u.

Quoting N1ght1ngale:

Sounds like he is trying to leave already.. I know you love him, but if you have wanted a baby from day one, you should protect yourself and your child.. Does he take your child to his sisters to sleep? If so, when you decide to split, go STRAIGHT to the courts and file for immediate custody.. Make sure you split on a weekday and have cash stashed and a place to go..set everything up before acting stupid..not that you are..but fear and emotions of mothers makes us do stupid things when panicked..eliminate the panick ahead of time and be wise and prepared.. And for heaven sakes don't ake the same mistake if you truly love your child! No more selfish men with multiple families! In fact.that should have been a clue right there! Find a nice young single childless, no drama no baby mama man who wants a future with you and your son and has good work ethics..don't settle..you and your baby are precious and deserve better..after all, there is only one each of you in this world..you are gifts..not trash..

justahousewife
by on Mar. 23, 2014 at 4:30 PM

It certainly does sound frustrating. However, when you look at the big picture of life, you know the next 10, 20 or even 50 years. The asset to your child having a fulltime dad at home and the fact that this seems to have just recently developed. I would do two things 1.) I'd ask him if there is a time you and him can talk about your confusion and frustration about his weekend absences. Maybe there is a good reason. Probably there is a good reason. It sounds like he loves his kids and you but maybe he senses you being upset and just doesn't know how else to deal with it other than to give you space. Guys are good at taking a leave of absence when they don't know what to do. 2.) I would find some things to fill up your interest. Find somethings you enjoy, maybe some mommy/kiddo groups, hobbies, whatever. Get yourself some fun outside of your guy. This will give you a chance to reflect and enjoy life a little bit more.

If this pattern continues unsolved after you do all of that. After first trying to understand instead of just feeling left out and disappointed. And give it time. Marriages aren't built over night, they're a natural growth and development. In the mean time find yourself some fun times and learn something about yourself and just be appreciative that you have a man who loves his kids. 

I bet the happier you are the more he'll want to include you in whatever is going on with the kiddos and him. Give it time. Think big picture. 

Quoting deenicole: You have a very good point. And I thank u for your honesty, however he does have full custody of his son and gets his daughter every wednesday and every other weekend. My problem is we all used to do stu f together then ever since nye .. it stopped and he seems to go to his sisters when his daughter is around. Its frustrating bc he does nothing with our son and sees him every day yet when his daughter is here he suddenly wants to play games with her and takes her to his sisters house to sleep. Nye .. he was driving his son all around then they all slept at his sisters house when I was told he'd be back. And seems like every weekrnd since then hes sleeping at his sisters. Its so frustrating.
Quoting justahousewife:

Maybe. Be proud that he spends time with his other children. Give him a break because he does have two other kids and two other moms to deal with. If he's a good man to you other than having to balance his time maybe just try to be understanding of his situation. Instead of threatening to leave, ask him how you can find a little bit of quality time together? I can't imagine having 3 kids split between 3 homes. That can't be easy on you him or his other kids. 

Is he a bad guy? Does he work and take care of you?


MusherMaggie
by Member on Mar. 23, 2014 at 11:02 PM
Doesn't sound like he's very much interested in being a daddy, just producing offspring.
deenicole
by on Mar. 30, 2014 at 7:43 PM
Bc if we split up ill lose the time with my son bc on those weekends
He would be with his dad.
deenicole
by on Mar. 30, 2014 at 7:46 PM
Bc if we split up ill lose the time with my son bc on those weekends
He would be with his dad.
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