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BF's son said scary things about BM home...

Posted by on Mar. 27, 2014 at 1:16 PM
  • 12 Replies
So my boyfriend has custody of his 3 year old son and BM gets him every Wednesday and every other Friday-Saturday. Most Wednesdays she doesn't take him though or picks him up late and brings him home really early. When he comes home from the overnight stays he is always filthy (not the typical playing in the dirt filthy) and reeks of smoke. He is very cranky and refuses to listen. My boyfriend got custody because his son was coming home with bed bug bites all the time, she never had food at her house for her son, and he had questionable bruises and injuries. That's the history.

Well BM is dating this guy, we will call him Mike. My BF son came home last week from his visit early because BM said that a kid had broken her window by kicking a ball through it and the apartment was getting to cold. When my BF was putting his son to bed, son started telling him how mike was yelling at mommy and going boom boom to the window and he broke it and had to go to the dr bc mike hurt his hand. He kept saying mike broke mommy's window and trying to get inside and mommy was saying "you can't take my son anywhere" (she has 2 sons but neither are mikes. The other son is 5 weeks old). He kept saying he was crying and was scared. My BF asked BM about this and she said son was sleeping and woke up when the ball came through the window and he saw mike fixing the window. BF doesn't believe her and neither do I. It's been a week and BF son talks about it everyday. He has said in the past that he is scared of mike and doesn't like him. My BF has talked to his lawyer but they say there is nothing they can do without proof. Does this sound off to anyone else and does anyone have any advice? BM has had 3 of her car windows shot out while she was driving, hangs out with convicted felons and does not take good care of him when he is with her. My BF doesn't want to revoke her rights and I agree with that, but we are both worried about his safety with her and not sure what to do.
by on Mar. 27, 2014 at 1:16 PM
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Replies (1-10):
GirlieGal76
by Bronze Member on Mar. 27, 2014 at 2:16 PM
2 moms liked this

I think this would be one of those times where I would worry less about offending the BM by trying to get her rights revoked until she is in a safer environment, and worry more about the son. She could be Mary Poppins but be surrounded by unsafe things like you're describing and I don't think I would have any problem momentarily offending her by telling her she wouldn't be seeing my child anymore unless it was at my house or until she moved to a safer area and surrounded herself with better people. It sucks to have an uncomfortable conversation like that with anyone, but the sons safety is more important than hurting her feelings.

RoseWall
by Platinum Member on Mar. 27, 2014 at 2:28 PM
I would go for sole custody.
IDK how that works.
Lawyer needs to work with the father to get sole custody.
I'm saying that because of the statement about safety.
Tcjadm
by New Member on Mar. 27, 2014 at 2:36 PM
This has nothing to do with hurting her feelings. I could care less about her feelings and neither does my BF. I may have worded that wrong. He doesn't want to permanently revoke her rights. He doesn't want his son going over there until things change, and he would like her to only have supervised visits, and not at her house because the area and people there are so dangerous. But his lawyer said there is nothing they can do without proof, they can't go off the word of a 3 year old since she is denying it. He got a protective order when the windows were shot out, and she went 6 months without seeing him. His lawyer said that in order to get a protective order again, he has to prove that his son will most likely get hurt and there is not enough proof. He is planning on talking to another lawyer. My BF wants to meet Mike but BM refuses. She has met me. I would think that he would legally have the right to meet Mike since mike is around his son. She won't even tell him mikes last name
ABCMomma0211
by on Mar. 27, 2014 at 2:45 PM

i don't care if it would hurt her feelings, or anything like that. 

i'd be taking her ass right back to court. 

and good he is talking to a different lawyer.....his lawyer sounds like an idiot to be honest with you.

and yes he has the legal right to meet mike, doesn't mean he has to meet mike. 

that little boy doesn't deserve to be around his mother at all, and your boyfriend needs to revoke her rights. 

augsmom
by Member on Mar. 27, 2014 at 2:53 PM
Please do something to protect that little boy. Can you hire a PI on a weekend the boy is not there?
sauceda
by New Member on Mar. 27, 2014 at 3:10 PM
You should take him to talk to some one something my be happening that you don't know about and a psychologist Can see if it's a bigger problem if u go to cort you'll need that it won't just be your word what he said
sauceda
by New Member on Mar. 27, 2014 at 3:10 PM
You should take him to talk to some one something my be happening that you don't know about and a psychologist Can see if it's a bigger problem if u go to cort you'll need that it won't just be your word what he said
seaturtle1
by Member on Mar. 27, 2014 at 3:46 PM
1 mom liked this

I would see if you can take him to talk to a councilor about this.  Then you would have proof that he is scared.  Also see if you could get a court appointed CASA worker for your son. They watch everything both parents do and tell a judge what is best for the child.  They are there only for the child.  You need a new lawyer who is willing to fight and get proof.

Tcjadm
by New Member on Mar. 27, 2014 at 4:48 PM
We are trying. She is an awful mother. He is talking to another attorney to see if there is anything we can do. We are recording everything his son tells us and tracking everything.
terpmama
by Gold Member on Mar. 27, 2014 at 5:20 PM
I would file for supervised visits for mom and get kiddo in counseling and either a casa or gal advocate
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