Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

The CafeMom Newcomers Club The CafeMom Newcomers Club

my heart is breaking

Posted by on Mar. 31, 2014 at 2:20 PM
  • 26 Replies
2 moms liked this
Something has been on my mind and weighing on my heart a lot lately. Everyday I hear mothers talking negatively about their children. They say things that make me feel they think their children are a burden on their lives. When I asked how she was doing, one mom told me, "my life sucks; I'm a mom."

I know we love our kids and get a lot of joy out of motherhood but have we really forgotten that everything we do in life is BECAUSE we love them? Why is it that we are so busy, so stressed out and so depressed that we no longer remember what's really important?

Every morning when I wake up I look at my son and think about how blessed I am to have him in my life. I am in awe at God's creation of this world, life, our children. God gave us his best. Don't our children deserve our best?

Our thoughts affect our moods, and the people around us. When we think negative thoughts we give out negative reactions. We make our kids feel what we regardless of the words we say to them. When we are proud of them, they feel that love emanating from our hearts. They learn by example not lectures. They learn by watching our every move.

So, ladies (and gents), let's make our kids feel the love that I know we all have for them! The next time someone asks you how your day is going I want you to look that person in the eye and say, "my life is AMAZING. I AM A MOM!"

- Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from Him. -Psalm 127:3

Edit: I am getting a lot of responses that sound like people are assuming I am not thinking about the mothers and their level of stress or the reasoning behind it. I want to point out that my post never said I think mothers have no reason to be stressed or that I think they don't love their children. I know stress just as much as anyone.

All I am trying to emphasize is that just because you are having a bad day does not mean you have a bad life. When we act like we are mad children think they did something wrong when they are just being children. I just want people to recognize that the situation they are in is not their whole life. It will pass.

When I am having a bad day that is all it is. I still have a good life.
by on Mar. 31, 2014 at 2:20 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Hottmomma607
by Trica on Mar. 31, 2014 at 2:38 PM
2 moms liked this
Nicely said! But life isn't always roses and sunshine! I would want to know WHY a person feels that way? There are are lot depression amongst moms. Children are a blessing and life is amazing. Sometimes we all just have one of those days.
Its great to have that mind set and stay positive!
jstadt
by on Mar. 31, 2014 at 2:48 PM
1 mom liked this
I never said life is all roses or that everything comes easily to me. I have hard days too but I would never wish my son to not be in my life.

I work retail and I see parents stressed out because they have to take care of their kids. I see this sort of negativity more than I see positive thought about parenthood. My heart goes out to these stressed out parents. I just wish people would learn to say no to things and not let themselves get so overwhelmed. Their kids are not the issue. The issue is that we as a nation take on too much and our priorities get a little mixed up.

When we start overloading ourselves and saying it is for the kids we have it backwards. It is having more of a negative affect on them. I'm not trying to attack anyone. I am just saying maybe we need to think about our priorities a little.

Quoting Hottmomma607: Nicely said! But life isn't always roses and sunshine! I would want to know WHY a person feels that way? There are are lot depression amongst moms. Children are a blessing and life is amazing. Sometimes we all just have one of those days.
Its great to have that mind set and stay positive!
Hottmomma607
by Trica on Mar. 31, 2014 at 2:52 PM
I never said you did.
Its unfortunate people have negative tones. If I was ever stressed to the point my kids would never be the focus of it.


Quoting jstadt: I never said life is all roses or that everything comes easily to me. I have hard days too but I would never wish my son to not be in my life.

I work retail and I see parents stressed out because they have to take care of their kids. I see this sort of negativity more than I see positive thought about parenthood. My heart goes out to these stressed out parents. I just wish people would learn to say no to things and not let themselves get so overwhelmed. Their kids are not the issue. The issue is that we as a nation take on too much and our priorities get a little mixed up.

When we start overloading ourselves and saying it is for the kids we have it backwards. It is having more of a negative affect on them. I'm not trying to attack anyone. I am just saying maybe we need to think about our priorities a little.

Quoting Hottmomma607: Nicely said! But life isn't always roses and sunshine! I would want to know WHY a person feels that way? There are are lot depression amongst moms. Children are a blessing and life is amazing. Sometimes we all just have one of those days.
Its great to have that mind set and stay positive!
ljmom24
by Member on Mar. 31, 2014 at 3:03 PM
1 mom liked this
My sister is like that. It's hard my kids make my life stressful but if they weren't in it it would be boring. When I'm having a bad day it's not just about being a mom but being an adult, was having kind of a crappy morning because I had to call in sick to deal with lack of heat in my house. Kids or no kids it would be an issue. Think the issue for some like my sister is they expected a fairytale life but found out a lot of crap happens after the ever after and they aren't able to deal with life not just kids. If it's not the kids it's her ex or the car or her job. Some people are just negative all the time and blame everything and everyone but themselves
kayliza
by Member on Mar. 31, 2014 at 3:11 PM
1 mom liked this
If a parent says they don't have days where they throw - up their hands and think "my life sucks" then that person is lying. That kind of lying only makes other mothers feel guilty about having those thoughts. We are a community of parents and we should never make another parent feel shameful for feeling overwhelmed some times. As long as you're not yelling at your kids that they ruined your life then it's guilt free "private" thoughts.
Shaynas_Mommy
by Country Sweetheart on Mar. 31, 2014 at 5:37 PM

I'm curious, how old is your child?

coolmommy2x
by Ruby Member on Mar. 31, 2014 at 6:13 PM
I agree. The other day DH and I were talking about rich we'd be (financially) if we didn't have kids. It doesn't mean we really wish we didn't have them. Heck, I'm sure my kids think their lives would be easier sometimes if DH and I weren't around all the time. LOL!

Thinking it and acting it are two different things.


Quoting kayliza: If a parent says they don't have days where they throw - up their hands and think "my life sucks" then that person is lying. That kind of lying only makes other mothers feel guilty about having those thoughts. We are a community of parents and we should never make another parent feel shameful for feeling overwhelmed some times. As long as you're not yelling at your kids that they ruined your life then it's guilt free "private" thoughts.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
jstadt
by on Mar. 31, 2014 at 11:27 PM
I guess I did sound a little defensive. That was unintentional. It is very unfortunate. My heart goes out to these parents. I just wish their stress wouldn't have negative impacts on their children.

Quoting Hottmomma607: I never said you did.
Its unfortunate people have negative tones. If I was ever stressed to the point my kids would never be the focus of it.


Quoting jstadt: I never said life is all roses or that everything comes easily to me. I have hard days too but I would never wish my son to not be in my life.

I work retail and I see parents stressed out because they have to take care of their kids. I see this sort of negativity more than I see positive thought about parenthood. My heart goes out to these stressed out parents. I just wish people would learn to say no to things and not let themselves get so overwhelmed. Their kids are not the issue. The issue is that we as a nation take on too much and our priorities get a little mixed up.

When we start overloading ourselves and saying it is for the kids we have it backwards. It is having more of a negative affect on them. I'm not trying to attack anyone. I am just saying maybe we need to think about our priorities a little.

Quoting Hottmomma607: Nicely said! But life isn't always roses and sunshine! I would want to know WHY a person feels that way? There are are lot depression amongst moms. Children are a blessing and life is amazing. Sometimes we all just have one of those days.
Its great to have that mind set and stay positive!
jstadt
by on Mar. 31, 2014 at 11:29 PM
I agree with you but there is a big difference between having a bad day and having a bad life. There is also a big difference between thinking life is stressful and telling your kids and the world that your life sucks because of them.


Quoting kayliza: If a parent says they don't have days where they throw - up their hands and think "my life sucks" then that person is lying. That kind of lying only makes other mothers feel guilty about having those thoughts. We are a community of parents and we should never make another parent feel shameful for feeling overwhelmed some times. As long as you're not yelling at your kids that they ruined your life then it's guilt free "private" thoughts.
jstadt
by on Mar. 31, 2014 at 11:31 PM
My son is 22 months

Quoting Shaynas_Mommy:

I'm curious, how old is your child?

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN