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The pressure to marry

Posted by on Apr. 6, 2014 at 12:57 AM
  • 9 Replies
So I'm at my boyfriends (baby daddy) friends wedding and people keep asking us when we are getting married. It's getting annoying.. I don't even know if he wants to tie the knott or not.. We talked about it but he still hasn't proposed.. We have been together for 3 years.

I want to tie the knott and I thought he was going to propose when we went to Catalina island but he didn't.. There was a couple times where I thought he was but he hasn't :( .. Idk if he's being truthful about getting married or not... I try to act cool about it and like I don't care..

He messes with me and acts like he's gonna propose and I told him to stop messing with my head..

Also, A friend at the wedding just told me she got engaged.. She kept asking when I'm getting married.. I didn't want to make it seem like he doesn't want to marry me.. I just said "oh when I finish school" .. Has anyone gone the ought something similar?
by on Apr. 6, 2014 at 12:57 AM
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Replies (1-9):
Mom-does-hair
by Member on Apr. 6, 2014 at 1:00 AM
If you want to get married, you need to talk to him. He may think it 'a not a big deal to you, but it obviously is or you wouldn't be posting this. He can't read your mind.
lucky2Beeme
by Platinum Member on Apr. 6, 2014 at 1:06 AM

Have you told hihm you want to get married ? what did he say ?

alexsmomma06
by Bronze Member on Apr. 6, 2014 at 1:14 AM

Don't push him into it. Would you really want to know that he only proposed because you kept pestering him about it?

DH and I were together for 8yrs before he proposed. We had 3 children by that point. I had to sit though my friends and relatives(who hadn't been together as long as we had) getting engaged and being married. I understand where you are coming from but if your relationship is strong there is no need to rush things.

If getting married is very important to you, you need to sit down and explain that you are 100% serious about wanting to get married in the next few years. Tell him that if he truly has no intentions, then he needs to let you know now. Don't come at him in an attacking or demanding  manor.

Mommy4-27-08
by Bronze Member on Apr. 6, 2014 at 1:58 AM
I totally get this!!! Me and my bf have been together for 3 years. I have two kids from a previous relationship and he has been around forever. We bought a house last summer. When we do things, like if I am in the hospital or when we bought a house, he calls himself my fiance... yet he hasn't asked!!! I admit I call him that often too, because it sounds less weird than my bf. It just makes him sound like he's a passing thing to me.

He is constantly giving me a timeframe (like he said he was going to propose at our 3 year anniversary, that was 3 months ago) or he'll say he's been looking at rings. This has gone on for two years and I stay calm and don't say anything because I don't want to feel like I pushed him into it. Last christmas he gave me a ring and said it was a "promise ring".

I have watched my friends get engaged and get married and it sucks. So I really have no good advice, just know you're not alone.
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Mireya9
by Member on Apr. 12, 2014 at 2:11 AM
Your story is very similar to mine.. Why r they doing this?

Quoting Mommy4-27-08: I totally get this!!! Me and my bf have been together for 3 years. I have two kids from a previous relationship and he has been around forever. We bought a house last summer. When we do things, like if I am in the hospital or when we bought a house, he calls himself my fiance... yet he hasn't asked!!! I admit I call him that often too, because it sounds less weird than my bf. It just makes him sound like he's a passing thing to me.

He is constantly giving me a timeframe (like he said he was going to propose at our 3 year anniversary, that was 3 months ago) or he'll say he's been looking at rings. This has gone on for two years and I stay calm and don't say anything because I don't want to feel like I pushed him into it. Last christmas he gave me a ring and said it was a "promise ring".

I have watched my friends get engaged and get married and it sucks. So I really have no good advice, just know you're not alone.
Mireya9
by Member on Apr. 12, 2014 at 2:13 AM
I told him in a way that didn't seem desperate.. He said he was for it

Quoting lucky2Beeme:

Have you told hihm you want to get married ? what did he say ?

Mireya9
by Member on Apr. 12, 2014 at 2:14 AM
Yeah I try to make it seem like I'm laid back about it.. I don't pressure him..

Quoting alexsmomma06:

Don't push him into it. Would you really want to know that he only proposed because you kept pestering him about it?

DH and I were together for 8yrs before he proposed. We had 3 children by that point. I had to sit though my friends and relatives(who hadn't been together as long as we had) getting engaged and being married. I understand where you are coming from but if your relationship is strong there is no need to rush things.

If getting married is very important to you, you need to sit down and explain that you are 100% serious about wanting to get married in the next few years. Tell him that if he truly has no intentions, then he needs to let you know now. Don't come at him in an attacking or demanding  manor.

Mireya9
by Member on Apr. 12, 2014 at 2:15 AM
I also feel like if I have a sit down he is gonna feel like I'm pressuring him.. I don't want him to propose just because he felt the pressure

Quoting Mireya9: Yeah I try to make it seem like I'm laid back about it.. I don't pressure him..

Quoting alexsmomma06:

Don't push him into it. Would you really want to know that he only proposed because you kept pestering him about it?

DH and I were together for 8yrs before he proposed. We had 3 children by that point. I had to sit though my friends and relatives(who hadn't been together as long as we had) getting engaged and being married. I understand where you are coming from but if your relationship is strong there is no need to rush things.

If getting married is very important to you, you need to sit down and explain that you are 100% serious about wanting to get married in the next few years. Tell him that if he truly has no intentions, then he needs to let you know now. Don't come at him in an attacking or demanding  manor.

Mireya9
by Member on Apr. 12, 2014 at 2:16 AM
I try not to say much cause i don't want to get married for the wrong reasons . Like him feeling the pressure

Quoting lucky2Beeme:

Have you told hihm you want to get married ? what did he say ?

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