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Am I being a wuss?

Posted by on Apr. 16, 2014 at 11:48 AM
  • 26 Replies
1 mom liked this

Ok I have an 8 year old son and we live 6 hours away from his father. We visit during the summer I am the one who always brings my son to see him. He stays with his father for a week. (his father never keeps him longer than that altho he can) We don't go to through court we just do everything by verbal agreement. He pays child support just whenever he has the money.. But anyways my problem is I found out him and his wife are doing meth. I found out through his email bc I was suspicious. I don't want my son down there now. I am going to tell him that when we visit he can come see his son all he wants but he can't stay with him. I am so upset by this bc I know it is going to hurt my son to not have that time with his father but I can't send him off with meth addicts. Me and his father are good friends and I havent been able to say anything to him. He hasn't talked to my son in forever either. I know it has to be the drugs he is a very loving father just doesn't have his priorities straight right now. So, my question is would I be a total wuss if I wrote him an email about it instead of actually talking to him on the phone? UGH!

by on Apr. 16, 2014 at 11:48 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Hottmomma607
by Trica on Apr. 16, 2014 at 12:19 PM

No I don't think so? Whatever you need to do,do it for the safety of your son. And if he wants to see him,he can come to your house for a visit. Or meet in a neutral place.

And tell your son early on that he cannot stay with his dad in the summertime be honest to a point. 

mommy2boys03
by Member on Apr. 16, 2014 at 12:21 PM
4 moms liked this

Actually an email would give you documented proof of everything that is said so it is actually the smarter way to do it.  Print and keep all records of the interactions this way if somehow this ends up in court you have proof.

nickie0512
by Member on Apr. 16, 2014 at 12:22 PM

After I talk to his father I plan on talking to my son but he is 8 so I don't want to tell him his father is doing drugs. Just planned on telling him he is sick or something. I have been holding off hoping he would stop but I know he isn't just wishful thinking on my part.

Quoting Hottmomma607:

No I don't think so? Whatever you need to do,do it for the safety of your son. And if he wants to see him,he can come to your house for a visit. Or meet in a neutral place.

And tell your son early on that he cannot stay with his dad in the summertime be honest to a point. 


momma2mms
by Gold Member on Apr. 16, 2014 at 12:23 PM

An email is the smartest way to approach this situation. It's always good to have everything in writing.

nickie0512
by Member on Apr. 16, 2014 at 12:24 PM

Thank you! I didn't even think of that. I really hope he gets help. This is going to break my sons heart his father already never calls him.

Quoting mommy2boys03:

Actually an email would give you documented proof of everything that is said so it is actually the smarter way to do it.  Print and keep all records of the interactions this way if somehow this ends up in court you have proof.


mommy2boys03
by Member on Apr. 16, 2014 at 12:27 PM

I hope he does too and maybe this will be the wake up call he needs if not just do what is best for your son that is what is important.

Quoting nickie0512:

Thank you! I didn't even think of that. I really hope he gets help. This is going to break my sons heart his father already never calls him.

Quoting mommy2boys03:

Actually an email would give you documented proof of everything that is said so it is actually the smarter way to do it.  Print and keep all records of the interactions this way if somehow this ends up in court you have proof.



Hottmomma607
by Trica on Apr. 16, 2014 at 12:31 PM

Like I said be honest but not to the point of telling him he is on drugs of course I totally agree I would not say that. I wouldn't use "sick" either b/c usually people get better after being sick.

Quoting nickie0512:

After I talk to his father I plan on talking to my son but he is 8 so I don't want to tell him his father is doing drugs. Just planned on telling him he is sick or something. I have been holding off hoping he would stop but I know he isn't just wishful thinking on my part.

Quoting Hottmomma607:

No I don't think so? Whatever you need to do,do it for the safety of your son. And if he wants to see him,he can come to your house for a visit. Or meet in a neutral place.

And tell your son early on that he cannot stay with his dad in the summertime be honest to a point. 



nickie0512
by Member on Apr. 16, 2014 at 12:53 PM

Yea good point! UGH! I don't know what to tell him,

Quoting Hottmomma607:

Like I said be honest but not to the point of telling him he is on drugs of course I totally agree I would not say that. I wouldn't use "sick" either b/c usually people get better after being sick.

Quoting nickie0512:

After I talk to his father I plan on talking to my son but he is 8 so I don't want to tell him his father is doing drugs. Just planned on telling him he is sick or something. I have been holding off hoping he would stop but I know he isn't just wishful thinking on my part.

Quoting Hottmomma607:

No I don't think so? Whatever you need to do,do it for the safety of your son. And if he wants to see him,he can come to your house for a visit. Or meet in a neutral place.

And tell your son early on that he cannot stay with his dad in the summertime be honest to a point. 



mommy2boys03
by Member on Apr. 16, 2014 at 2:08 PM

Just tell him that you don't think the house is safe right now because of some choices you heard his father is making but you want your son to see his father.  If your ex is messed up with drugs your son will probably see a difference in his father when he is around and he will have to explain to him why.

Quoting nickie0512:

Yea good point! UGH! I don't know what to tell him,

Quoting Hottmomma607:

Like I said be honest but not to the point of telling him he is on drugs of course I totally agree I would not say that. I wouldn't use "sick" either b/c usually people get better after being sick.

Quoting nickie0512:

After I talk to his father I plan on talking to my son but he is 8 so I don't want to tell him his father is doing drugs. Just planned on telling him he is sick or something. I have been holding off hoping he would stop but I know he isn't just wishful thinking on my part.

Quoting Hottmomma607:

No I don't think so? Whatever you need to do,do it for the safety of your son. And if he wants to see him,he can come to your house for a visit. Or meet in a neutral place.

And tell your son early on that he cannot stay with his dad in the summertime be honest to a point. 




workingdivamom
by on Apr. 16, 2014 at 2:19 PM

For one thing I don't think so because this is your son you do what you think is best. I like to keep proof of everything try to document every thing if you decide to go to court get him for child support keep receipts of everything record phone conversations everything to do what you feel is right for you and your son because as of right now you are the mother and father of this child. Your not a wuss your a parent. I wish you luck and stenght to get through this. you can do it.

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