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Need Advice!

Posted by on Apr. 18, 2014 at 3:53 PM
  • 55 Replies
I am currently pregnant with my 2nd child and I am strictly against smokers and smoking around children. My fiance was a smoker when we met and he had been trying to quit he only smokes while at work now. I have talked to him about how much I dont like smoking but it just seems to not phase him. I have been considering leaving him after our daughter is born, until he quits completely. I just need some advice? Am I being to harsh?
by on Apr. 18, 2014 at 3:53 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mybumblebe
by Member on Apr. 18, 2014 at 3:59 PM
1 mom liked this
I feel you I was in the same boat I just kept hounding him about it...then changed my approach to giving light about it being really important to me to want to have him around and healthy and that he's more prone to cancer since family members have had it....and then I changed my approach to locking his ciggs he tried to sneak in the car and if he wanted them so bad he could put on an outfit of my choosing go out barefoot and and smoke it in the snow while I get a picture to remind you how awful you look in that low cut maternity tank,skirt and earrings lol
mybumblebe
by Member on Apr. 18, 2014 at 4:06 PM
I'm actually still in the process he quit for a while then started again and now he started dip I tried getting him to at leas do electronic one but he would always forget to use it. Now I'm trying to hound him daily about how nasty his dip is and I really really want him to stop
rainboz
by on Apr. 18, 2014 at 4:11 PM
2 moms liked this
If your gonna leave him for smoking that seems harsh. I think you will have more success if you love him the way he is.Tell him want you want and why and love him even he doesn't change right away! Telling someone you will leave them if they don't stop smoking may make him feel u don't really care about him. Show him why u care leave him notes that tell him 1 reason u love him, keep doing it. Make him believe that change is worth it because of how much he has and how much his family supports him no matter what and what if you leave and end up with bigger problem. Pray for him :-)
MommyOF21114
by on Apr. 18, 2014 at 4:13 PM
That's actually a very good idea picking out an outfit of my choice. Ive told him that I dont want him to go early because of some bad choice that he can stop if he puts his mind to it, I guess im just pushy because when I found out I was pregnant with my first child who is now 3 I quit cold turkey because I knew the risks and I want to be there for everything possible for her, I think I have been hoping for the same to happen for him too. Maybe ill have him consider the option of the electronic one...
MrsApple
by Gold Member on Apr. 18, 2014 at 4:14 PM

You'd leave him for smoking at work?Seems a bit extreme.

MommyOF21114
by on Apr. 18, 2014 at 5:31 PM
Its mainly just for the smoking in general
polkaspots
by Member on Apr. 18, 2014 at 5:34 PM
8 moms liked this
That's ridiculous. He isn't lying to you about it. He was a smoker when he got you pregnant, right? If you didn't want to be with a smoker you wouldn't be engaged to one and having his baby.
You're not being harsh, you're wrong.
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MommyOF21114
by on Apr. 18, 2014 at 5:42 PM
But that's just it he was trying to quit once we got into the relationship saying he quit smoking before he asked me to marry him before I got pregnant but I ended up finding out that he still does smoke and stayed with him to help him give him another chance. Once we found out I was pregnant I asked him if he still wants to quit and he said yes but he hasn't been giving any effort to quit.
Texascandee
by Bronze Member on Apr. 18, 2014 at 7:05 PM

You say in your post that he was a smoker when you met.  If smoking was a big issue for you then I would think it would have been an issue then.  Why wait till your second pregnancy to make it seem like a bigger issue?  If he smokes at work then I'd say yes you are being a bit harsh. 

vamaria
by on Apr. 18, 2014 at 7:20 PM
1 mom liked this

It is his choice whether or not to smoke, just as it is yours whether or not this is a deal breaker for you. Ultimately, you have no control over his choices, just yours.

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