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Our first Disagreement..... HELP!!

Posted by on Apr. 24, 2014 at 10:35 AM
  • 12 Replies

My boyfriend and I are buying a home together. We live 40 minutes apart now. He is in one county and I am in another. He lives with his parents in the most expensive area out of both counties. The average home price is $400,000. It obviously also has the best schools and best sports programs for the kids.  His choice is to live here. While I would love to live there, I do not think we could afford it. Together we make about $90,000 a year. To live there we will have to have an older home and it will most likely be at the top of the budget $250,000. which means we wont really be able to fix it up. 

In my county the schools are not the best but good and the sports programs are not the best but they are still good. We can buy a very nice home already updated here for under our budget. I told him that we can look at homes in his area this Saturday with the realtor but I think it is a waste of time. I dont think we can find anything in that area remotely as nice as in my county. 

How do I make him see that I am not trying to decide for us, but my county just makes sense financially.

He also said he doesnt want to move his dd away from her friends but she is only in 1st grade, so its not like she spends time out of school with them or does sleep overs. Both my ds and his dd will start school at the begining of the year in the new school.

HELP! What would you do?

by on Apr. 24, 2014 at 10:35 AM
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Replies (1-10):
hautemama83
by Nichole on Apr. 24, 2014 at 12:23 PM
Compromise. Don't move to his area, and don't move to yours. Find a place in the middle, that fits your budget.
ms_amanda
by New Member on Apr. 24, 2014 at 12:37 PM

 That is exactly what dh and I did when we first moved in together! I was in a decent area, and he was in a very nice area. He wanted to move to a home in his area because his work was there, I wanted to stay in mine because of work. We looked at houses we could afford in his area, and for the price, we weren't getting a lot of space. We met in the middle. A new area for both of us. Not as expensive as my dh's old area, but much nicer then mine. The schools are the main reason we chose this house as they are in a great division, the house is directly across the street from an elementary school and we have 5 bedrooms and a huge yard!!. Try to find a middle area that meets your needs and budget! Good luck!

Quoting hautemama83: Compromise. Don't move to his area, and don't move to yours. Find a place in the middle, that fits your budget.

 

bothsidesofcoin
by on Apr. 24, 2014 at 12:47 PM
Is expensive housing equating to better schools? Where do the schools rank on school digger.com compared to the ones the kids go to already? If you do not think you can afford that expensive of a home...don't do it. Don't live on ramen noodles just so you can have a nice house
veggiemom474
by New Member on Apr. 25, 2014 at 12:17 PM

Remind him, with extra money each month, the family can take a vacation each year, buy better high quality foods, afford more for the house and your child.

It's not always the school either, it's how involved u both are with the school. Just because a town has what's considered a better school district, by no means your child will automatically do better. As long as you're involved with your child at school, like communicating with teachers and going to conferences, I don't think there is a need to worry.

chaotic.mind
by Member on Apr. 25, 2014 at 12:38 PM

I would go and look at houses in both areas. See what's out there. You never know. 


Karmahappens
by Member on Apr. 25, 2014 at 12:50 PM
1 mom liked this

I had this choice to make P{RE having my child. I could have boght a larger home on more land in a moderate to acceptable school district. Or I could have bought a smaller house on less property in an award winning district.

I choose the smaller home on a smaller lot (1860 sq feet).  My districts schools continue to be excellent and the town remains highly desirable.

 My property even thru the real estate down turn has increased in value and has more than doubled in value. The area where I chose to NOT purchase has seen their schools go from marginl to unacceptable and foreclosures there were quite high, with many people becoming upside down on their homes.

Remember there is only ONE thing that you cannot change about a house-and that is the location. Making that the most important factor. 

 

gkcathey
by Member on Apr. 25, 2014 at 1:50 PM

What would I do?  I wouldn't buy a house with someone that I wasn't married to. 

jessicasmom1
by on Apr. 26, 2014 at 1:16 PM

comprise and make sure you are happy or either one of you are going to be unhappy

coolmommy2x
by Ruby Member on Apr. 26, 2014 at 1:20 PM
I agree.

Quoting chaotic.mind:

I would go and look at houses in both areas. See what's out there. You never know. 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
housecoatloonie
by New Member on Apr. 26, 2014 at 1:48 PM

I wouldn't purchase a home with a boyfriend. EVER.

I would live in an apartment for a year or more.....until you decide that purchasing such a huge debt together such as a home and property were more agreeable.

Just live in an apartment or rent a home together.

Purchasing just seems insane....especially if you cannot even discuss WHERE to live.

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