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I caught him

Posted by on Apr. 25, 2014 at 2:32 AM
  • 33 Replies

 I am almost into my 3rd trimester and about 3 weeks ago I found out the father had been inappropriately txting another woman he met at work and another that he met on a dating site he had a profile on.  I of course left. I am scared to ever go back to him even though he says he never did anything and had no intent of it going further. I am not stupid, and my heart is tangled up. Is it hormones that make me want to work it out or fear of being in this pregnancy alone? I don't want to make a mistake. My head is talking all the logic and my heart is doing the regular hurting. He says he wants the family and he loves me, but where was the effort when he had me and why wasn't I good enough then?

by on Apr. 25, 2014 at 2:32 AM
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Replies (1-10):
booaura
by Bronze Member on Apr. 25, 2014 at 2:36 AM
9 moms liked this
A leopard doesn't change it's spots. If he's done it once, he'll do it again. "No intent of going further?" Then why was he talking to them at all. I couldn't go back. It'll be hard to be a single mother, but better for both you and baby than to go back to someone like that.
lizard11080
by Member on Apr. 25, 2014 at 7:37 AM
1 mom liked this

 

i couldn't have said it better myself.  You deserve someone better.  I'm a single mother...yes it's hard. I'm not going to say it's a piece of cake, but i've made it work for almost five years now and i would never change it. 

Quoting booaura: A leopard doesn't change it's spots. If he's done it once, he'll do it again. "No intent of going further?" Then why was he talking to them at all. I couldn't go back. It'll be hard to be a single mother, but better for both you and baby than to go back to someone like that.

 

bothsidesofcoin
by on Apr. 25, 2014 at 7:54 AM
1 mom liked this
He's shown his true colors. He didn't do anything yet, because he got busted. But he would have...you are better off without him for your own sanity and the baby
funhappymom
by on Apr. 25, 2014 at 9:26 AM
3 moms liked this

I don't agree with the others, a person can change. I know first hand that it's possible but they have to be willing to change. If you decide to make it work, seek counseling and take your time. There is no need to jump in with both feet immediately.

If he's not willing to do counseling with you and working things out, then I would suggest moving on.


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jessicasmom1
by on Apr. 25, 2014 at 10:01 AM
1 mom liked this

yikes this is a tuff thing to go through and being pregnant on top of it all.  Think things through if you know he would have cheated ... do what you think is best for you and your child.

RADmomma
by on Apr. 25, 2014 at 10:04 AM
I agree.

Quoting funhappymom:

I don't agree with the others, a person can change. I know first hand that it's possible but they have to be willing to change. If you decide to make it work, seek counseling and take your time. There is no need to jump in with both feet immediately.

If he's not willing to do counseling with you and working things out, then I would suggest moving on.

Artmum180
by on Apr. 25, 2014 at 12:09 PM
1 mom liked this

 

Quoting funhappymom:

I don't agree with the others, a person can change. I know first hand that it's possible but they have to be willing to change. If you decide to make it work, seek counseling and take your time. There is no need to jump in with both feet immediately.

If he's not willing to do counseling with you and working things out, then I would suggest moving on.

 I believe people can change too. Always seeing the good in people is a blessing and a curse. I have been burned before which is why I am having a hard time with this. I have firgiven him to a point. I have told him I need time. His plea's seem selfishly motivated. He has a binge drinking problem also and I asked if he thinks he can ever stop or learn new ways to deal with problems. He flat out has told me no. even missed the AA group he said he would go to. I am not perfect, I want to go to therapy in order to understand why I keep ending up in these situations.  I don't want to be the woman who takes him back and always questions what he is doing, as his routine is work, bar, work even getting out of bed to go to a bar. I want a man who will and wants to be there, or rather I be alone.

chaotic.mind
by Member on Apr. 25, 2014 at 12:15 PM
2 moms liked this

I wouldn't be able to trust him again. If he was fully commited to you, he wouldn't have been talking with those other woman. 


IrishMomof2Boys
by on Apr. 25, 2014 at 1:56 PM
1 mom liked this

I would highly suggest going with your heart. i wouldn't necessarily agree with some of the other women who say he's shown his true colors. All women and men sometimes face challenges in relationships, feel alone, or rejected without the other meaning too and another person offers a temporary shoulder to cry on. Relationships can get boring or slow, it's both parties job to work at it and it is possible he will never take it further. 

Ilovejay25
by on Apr. 25, 2014 at 5:26 PM
1 mom liked this

Guys never realize till its to late and we are fed up. Im sure you are good enough. He is not, and you deserve so much better for you and your baby. Good luck in whatever  choice you decide to make (hugs).

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