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Is my marriage on the line ???

Posted by on Jun. 6, 2014 at 12:13 AM
  • 24 Replies

So my daughter will make 2 months on Monday & since we brought her home things have been pretty hard between my husband and I. First off y daughter was planned, we spoke about having a baby for about a year, then started trying after 6 months I found out I was pregnant & the whole 9 months my husband was amazing, I can not complain . But these past 2 months have been pretty tough on us. More on me. He hasn't fully understood or doesn't want to, understand the responsibility of having a baby yet . He think he can still sleep all night and day, watch tv, he acts like nothing. He hasn't stayed up one night with her , & all I ask from him is to watch her for a total of 1 hour & 45 mins when I go work out which is only 3 days a week. When I get back home he's upset complaining . & I'm just like oh ok , I always try to hear him & understand him but it's getting to be to much, this is not what I had pictured in my head . We fight a lot which is new for us because he would never argue before . I just feel he is un happy but he says ge is not . He use to pay so much attention to me now he gets home and it's straight to bed & hooked on the tv, I can be cooking and the baby starts to cry I have to stop and go get her.  We talked about having 3 kids and now he's like one is enough , we re not having anymore, and I'm just so confused ,There's is just so much that has changed , I don't know what to do, but giving up on our family isn't one.. But if I'm not happy & he is not willing to change I don't know what else to do ....

hs anyone else gone thru this, what helped your marriage ?? 

by on Jun. 6, 2014 at 12:13 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by Rachel on Jun. 6, 2014 at 12:15 AM
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I'd straight up ask him wtf is going on.
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by on Jun. 6, 2014 at 12:20 AM
I'd say no. Hang in there. The baby is only two months old. It takes a long time for some dads to adjust to fatherhood.
by on Jun. 6, 2014 at 12:21 AM
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When babies are first born. (Mainly first ones) sometimes it's hard to go from doing what u want all the time to catering to a babies needs. Once you bring the baby home you find out it's not all smiles and giggles and cuddles like on TVs. It's hard.

It just takes awhile to get in the routine of things. Maybe more time he will adjust?

you guys should talk. Tell him how you feel and that he agreed to this too. Explain to him that maybe having a baby is harder than what you guys thought and u need to figure out what works for you guys. He will be more apt to talk it out If u kinda get down to his level because maybe he is feeling guilty that having a baby is a lot harder than he thought. Maybe he feels like he isn't part of it cause you always cater to the baby. Men are not really emotional people. But babies bring all kinds of emotions into play maybe he is having trouble dealing with them or understanding them.
by on Jun. 6, 2014 at 12:34 AM

Ambernewman0213 thank you, thank you a lot . Maybe getting down to his level would help him. Maybe he does feel guilty , he's a very prideful person too. 

by on Jun. 6, 2014 at 12:35 AM

& thank you also teachypoo. 

by on Jun. 6, 2014 at 1:17 AM
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My marriag is falling apart but in a different way. But just be straight up and ask him tell him talk to you. Or go to counseling
by on Jun. 6, 2014 at 1:34 AM
1 mom liked this
I am so in thw same boat. And yes it does get better. He could just be afraid of babies. Even if she was planned :). That's how it is with my husband. Also it helped that I started to pack my bags and told him I would leave if he did put on his big boy pants and be
by on Jun. 6, 2014 at 1:54 AM
1 mom liked this

Funny thing is, is that most of the time, we as mom's don't understand how overprotective we can be of our babies, especially when they are the first.  Sometimes men don't feel as though they are capable of taking care of babies, especially if you have constantly corrected what he has been doing. If you ask him for help, step back and let him help, even if he is doing things wrong. Over time he will learn. 

by on Jun. 6, 2014 at 12:57 PM

I'm sorry to hear your marriage is falling apart, rather it's different from what I'm going thru , it's still a family losing their grip. Thank you die your advice , I hope things get better !

& you know whst I have made that mistake where I do correct him sometimes maybe twice but stillim sure it bothered him. I will gave to stop it & apologize to him . Thank you everyone

by Member on Jun. 6, 2014 at 1:00 PM
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Yes! Men are dumb and for some reason if you are elbow deep in pizza dough your dh WILL have to be asked/told to pick up the crying baby. It's weird and strange and will probably make you feel like a bitch for even having to ask, but you ARE NOT being one. And asking for help will get easier even if to us mothers it would seem like common freaking sense for the dad to just realize and do it on his own
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