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physically somewhat present

Posted by on Jun. 15, 2014 at 7:17 PM
  • 4 Replies
On this fathers day I'm a lil sad. My father was in the army for 20 years. For half my childhood he. Was.somewhat present because of.being gone for the military but once retired he was then somewhat physically present as in...he was at home he went to a job, he mowed the grass, and annoyed my mother. But he never went to any sporting events of ours or school functions. I thought once he had grandchildren he would be around and such a.good papaw. Because hr showed us a lot of luv when he was present. But he is now a once a year grandpa. Only comes around for 2-3hrs at Christmas then is gone for another year. We live 3 hrs away. I invite he and my step mother to school events birthdays, holidays and soccer games. And they never come. I try to make plans for his.birthday to go there and they cancel. He was a good dad when he was around but he's obviously decided not to.be around his grown up children.....he's missing out on his grandchildren and it makes me sad. Sad to see people spending time with their fathers today and mine won't return a text or phone call. Just kinda numbed I really never thought growing up that this man I idolized as a lil girl would in.turn become a man I never see by his choice ...... :(
by on Jun. 15, 2014 at 7:17 PM
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Replies (1-4):
Bmat
by Ruby Member on Jun. 15, 2014 at 7:30 PM

I am sorry that you have this sadness. I'd suggest keep trying, but don't get your expectations up. 3 hours is a pretty long way to go for a school event. Maybe you could suggest times to visit, and stay with you or in a motel, that include several events.

TwinkleToes25
by Member on Jun. 15, 2014 at 8:02 PM
He comes up to our house for nothing but for 2-3 hrs on Christmas half of which he sleeps in the chair. My children do not really know him. My mother comes up once a mo. Drives 2hrs to see a soccer game or spend an afternoon hiking or at the park, or for grandpersons night ect. We've even made plans to go his way and he ends up cancelling or they have sudden plans with his wifes family. He sees his step grandchildren far more than his own. Makes no effort. I keep trying but am tired of always being let down, forgotten or feeling unwanted. He is the same way with my brother. But forces my 15 yr old sister to still come for visitation because he wants to spend time with her....which ends up being her at his house but her.spending time with step mother who she doesn't like while he watches tv or takes a nap. I feel never good enough
vilandra
by Member on Jun. 16, 2014 at 1:18 PM
Although a 3 hour drive is a long drive my father (a great grandfather) drives 3 hours to visit his other grandkids (I have number 5) and his great grandkids. he's literally up there at least once every other month. The drive maybe long but if the effort is there and the want is there the drive is nothing. I'm sorry your dad is acting this way
RutterMama
by Bronze Member on Jun. 16, 2014 at 3:50 PM

I'm so sorry, I do empathize with you.

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