laborWe all pretty much understand what the deal is when a woman is busy a' birthing, right? It's like, "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" times a zillion. And yet! Women have been told the most ridiculous things while they're trying to push a baby out of their bodies. What on earth are people thinking?!? Do they want to halt our labor altogether? Here's a collection of the craziest things women we know have been told while in labor.

1. "A resident told me she'd heard labor feels like a watermelon on fire coming out of your vagina."

2. "The labor nurse took one look at me when I arrived and said to the midwife, 'We're going to be here a long time with this one.' I was fully dilated and ready to push."

3. “Your uterus is lazy.”

4. "While I was pushing the nurse told me not to get blood on her brand-new scrubs."

5. "The nurses asked me to bake them some cookies while I was laboring at home!"

6. “We can’t get the placenta out.”

7. "I was told to stop moaning so loud because I was disturbing other patients."

8. "You are about 9cm. Would you like me to set up a mirror so that you can see how you are progressing?"

9. "My wife's mom called to say a cousin had sent flowers to the hospital but listed her maiden name instead of her married name and needed to make sure those flowers got to her because the cousin would be SO UPSET."

10. “We can’t find your cervix.”

11. “Your cervix is in Alaska.”

What's the craziest thing anyone's ever told you while you were in labor?