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The CafeMom Newcomers Club The CafeMom Newcomers Club

Friends

Posted by on Jul. 13, 2014 at 12:25 AM
  • 6 Replies

When I was in fifth grade I met one of my best friends (girl A).  We were inseperable-we slept over each others houses almost every weekend, spent vacations together, told each other everything.  I loved it.  Even though I had 3 sisters, 2 older, one younger, this relationship with her was different.  I could be myself without being judged or put down.  When we were in sixth grade, another girl became close to us (girl B), than we all became pretty close.  I thought our relationship was going to be one that you saw in the movies-best friends forever-all of that wonderfulness.  Than we hit seven grade. Girl B started to turn girl A against me, telling her lies, saying things that didn't happen.  Girl A started to believe her for some reason, and it got the the point were they both made fun of me.  It truly hurt and at that point I gave up on making close friends.  Throughout high school, I made sure to keep myself distant from everyone.  Yes-I was one of the popular girls that people wanted to hang out with, date, be, ect.  But, I never made any true friends.  I had company whenever I needed it but I never gave into anyone because I was so scared of getting hurt again.  That went all through college.  Up until now, I've been so scared so I kept everyone at a distance.  Now, looking at people it's like they all have this cclose group, going out together, going on shopping trips, and I am alone.  Yes, I am in the best relationship with my husband, I love my kids to death, but I have no one to go out with to do girl time.  My sisters are all single, no kids, and just in different places in their lives.  I don't have any regrets, but today I was thinking I wish I had a shopping buddy.  And it made me feel really sad and upset.  During the day, I workout when my kids are sleeping (I am a stay at home mom) and doing a 3 hour workout is difficult when your by yourself.  I wish I had a friend to come over to do it with me.  It doesn't help that I am shy and have a difficult time understaning people and holding conversations because of a disorder.  How can I make new friends who won't use me for my money or who I can completely trust?  I just want a girl friend who will come over when we need to talk, go shopping, talk, just have girl time!!

by on Jul. 13, 2014 at 12:25 AM
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Replies (1-6):
txrebel
by Member on Jul. 13, 2014 at 12:34 AM
1 mom liked this
I wish I had some advice for you but I don't have any close friends anymore. Got tired of the back stabbing and drama. Maybe I can benefit from the advice you get too :)
rad_kitten
by New Member on Jul. 13, 2014 at 2:04 AM

growing up a tom boy i never had girl friends. i have a low tolerance for drama and bullshit So because i dont play those games and am an alternative kind of mom, alot of women aren't drawn to me. I try sometimes but its dificult when i lack enough skill to make a real connection. In my own way I feel your pain. These forums are the only way i can kind of "talk" with other women. I hope you get some good advice girl. i need it too!

jconney80
by Platinum Member on Jul. 13, 2014 at 2:26 AM
1 mom liked this
Hi welcome to the group =) I really understand how you feel. I frequently got into situations like that as a child and it made it hard to trust people again. Now I see my oldest daughter on the autism spectrum struggling with it too. All I can say is what I try to teach my kids and myself... Find people who understand you and get you. There has to be someone out there who will understand you to do things with but you just have to reach out and get over some of your fears. I started a local autism group and started holding meetings so I could meet moms of kids with autism. I used to go to parenting meetings and made friends that way. It really is all about just taking that first step. Look on Cafemom and Facebook for mom groups that have play dates!
Lexismom20
by Member on Jul. 13, 2014 at 3:27 AM
I understand fully!
amonkeymom
by Platinum Member on Jul. 13, 2014 at 3:28 PM

Sometimes it's really hard to meet true friends.  Maybe you can "click" with someone you work with or another mom with a child around the same age as yours.  Do things that bring you into contact with others and help you meet new people.

theresaphilly
by Theresa on Jul. 13, 2014 at 8:39 PM

I guess I am one of the lucky ones; I've had my two best friends since third grade. We never even considered hurting one another. I am so sorry that you have had a difficult time with females, maybe you can let your guard down a little and have an acquaintance, now I don't know anyone who would want to work out three hours a day. But any way good luck. 

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