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Young Mother

Posted by on Jul. 13, 2014 at 4:12 AM
  • 13 Replies
Tired of the criticizing glares. Just want to be a normal passer by and meet other young mothers who are open minded for lifes curveballs and bring positive vibrations and advice regardless of surrounding negativity.
by on Jul. 13, 2014 at 4:12 AM
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Replies (1-10):
booaura
by Bronze Member on Jul. 13, 2014 at 4:22 AM
Welcome to the group.
How old are you? Being a young mother is looked down on, for the simple fact that most young/teen mothers are bad mothers. If you are a good mother, aren't having children on the governments dime, are supporting them on your own, then what do you care what others think and say? I'm 23. I'm a mother of 3, with twins on the way. 23 with 5 children was never my plan, but things happen. I do get looks and comments, but I'm a good mother. We've never been on welfare, dh and I both have careers, we are well off, our children are loved, and we had them because we wanted them. I ignore naysayers, because I know best what is right for my life.
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April_H
by New Member on Jul. 13, 2014 at 4:33 AM
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I'm 19 and no I go to college and and I have a two year old and another one on the way. I work at home and do everything I can for both my children with what I have. And the young mother stereotype is really getting old only because I see "mothers" that are double my age that still try to behave like a teenage child.. Most people who judge young mothers I see have parents who had children at a very young age as well, yet its different? I just think age shouldn't perceive the skill of the mother. It has no boundaries. Mothers need to have compassion and understanding for other mothers. Hate is already at large capacity. And the whole welfare situation is very touchy and controversial. I say this because I am on WIC. Its very difficult in this economy alone to tend to everything with the wages offered to even students with DEGREES. I know plenty of over the hill single adults of course not on drugs that are on welfare because of the constant work hours that provide little to nothing for people with outstanding resumes and very admirable traits in personal attributes and intelligence..
booaura
by Bronze Member on Jul. 13, 2014 at 4:37 AM
1 mom liked this
I love how angry young mothers always know all these older parents who are bad parents. I know maybe one older parent who is a poor parent. And I know countless young parents who are terrible. Sure, you can be a good young parent. I am. But, I also had a college degree and a job and a husband before I had a child. Most young mothers have a life of poverty with no education. It's a fact. All you are doing by ranting about this is perpetuating the stereotype. I suppose it depends on where you live, but again, I don't know many people on welfare or WIC. I see a lot of patients who are on welfare/WIC, but that also goes along with, often, multiple children at a young age, no education, etc. Welfare and WIC, while great if people truly need them, are nothing to be proud of using or needing. It's a hand up, but nothing to brag about or think is acceptable or ok to be on.

Quoting April_H: I'm 19 and no I go to college and and I have a two year old and another one on the way. I work at home and do everything I can for both my children with what I have. And the young mother stereotype is really getting old only because I see "mothers" that are double my age that still try to behave like a teenage child.. Most people who judge young mothers I see have parents who had children at a very young age as well, yet its different? I just think age shouldn't perceive the skill of the mother. It has no boundaries. Mothers need to have compassion and understanding for other mothers. Hate is already at large capacity. And the whole welfare situation is very touchy and controversial. I say this because I am on WIC. Its very difficult in this economy alone to tend to everything with the wages offered to even students with DEGREES. I know plenty of over the hill single adults of course not on drugs that are on welfare because of the constant work hours that provide little to nothing for people with outstanding resumes and very admirable traits in personal attributes and intelligence..
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April_H
by New Member on Jul. 13, 2014 at 4:46 AM
Thats not what I said at all.. and I never admitted to saying I was "proud". Who would be proud of needing help. Help is sometimes needed and thats that. I'm not going to put my children through misery all because of my pride. And yes its not just older parents but young parents as well. Thats why I'm proud that I'm not one of them. But I don't understand how I perpetuate the stereotype any further. Would you explain that a little more to me? And I live in Long Beach I have a degree and another one coming soon. Also living with my fiance who is a self contractor.
Its.me.Sam.
by Gold Member on Jul. 13, 2014 at 4:55 AM
1 mom liked this

one thing i can tell you right now... stop caring what anyone else thinks.  just be the best mom you can.
people are going to have judgments... what do they matter?  they dont  just focus on being a great mom and bettering yourself.  dont let being a young mom be the chip you carry on your shoulder.  youre never going to stop being seen as a young mother... so get used to it and let your parenting speak for itself.  the more bitter you become about it the more it will show that youre not mature enough to handle life lol
also... dont see 'older' moms as the enemy.. experience is priceless.   

RocknRoll.Rose
by Member on Jul. 13, 2014 at 4:56 AM
Haha, I'm 25 with an 11 year old so I feel your pain. He's my brother. I adopted him but I didn't give birth to him. I always had him with ke when I was a kid and people stared at us when we were out and even made comments. I was a better mother at 13 than my mother was at 33.
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April_H
by New Member on Jul. 13, 2014 at 4:59 AM
Love that you are such a big hearted loving big sister taking on the role of being his mother. Its definitely hard especially if the circumstances are laid out like that for you, kudos and much respect to you. My best friend who is 20 is also taking care of her younger siblings and seems to be around them more often than anyone else.

Quoting RocknRoll.Rose: Haha, I'm 25 with an 11 year old so I feel your pain. He's my brother. I adopted him but I didn't give birth to him. I always had him with ke when I was a kid and people stared at us when we were out and even made comments. I was a better mother at 13 than my mother was at 33.
April_H
by New Member on Jul. 13, 2014 at 5:02 AM
Thank you very much for the kind words and very tender advice. Much appreciated and you're right. Actions speak louder than words, thank you.

Quoting Its.me.Sam.:

one thing i can tell you right now... stop caring what anyone else thinks.  just be the best mom you can.people are going to have judgments... what do they matter?  they dont  just focus on being a great mom and bettering yourself.  dont let being a young mom be the chip you carry on your shoulder.  youre never going to stop being seen as a young mother... so get used to it and let your parenting speak for itself.  the more bitter you become about it the more it will show that youre not mature enough to handle life lolalso... dont see 'older' moms as the enemy.. experience is priceless.   

RocknRoll.Rose
by Member on Jul. 13, 2014 at 5:32 AM
1 mom liked this
Thank you. We're a lot happier npw that our mother is out of our lives.

Quoting April_H: Love that you are such a big hearted loving big sister taking on the role of being his mother. Its definitely hard especially if the circumstances are laid out like that for you, kudos and much respect to you. My best friend who is 20 is also taking care of her younger siblings and seems to be around them more often than anyone else.

Quoting RocknRoll.Rose: Haha, I'm 25 with an 11 year old so I feel your pain. He's my brother. I adopted him but I didn't give birth to him. I always had him with ke when I was a kid and people stared at us when we were out and even made comments. I was a better mother at 13 than my mother was at 33.
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Sammi.Gonzalez
by New Member on Jul. 13, 2014 at 7:28 AM

I was 17 when I had my daughter Carmina so I understand. I am now 25 with an 8 yr old and expecting baby girl #2 ( Alisa Esme ) also I am happily married :)

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