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adopting sister's newborn

Posted by on Jul. 13, 2014 at 3:05 PM
  • 23 Replies
1 mom liked this
Hello. Im new on here and I've tried looking for another post like mine but couldnt find one.
my little sister has asked my husband and I to adopt her baby. He is due August 6th. Of course we told her yes. Now as the day gets closer im getting extremely nervous. I am soooo very scared shes going to change her mind. Which is perfectly ok. She has every right to do.so. I am trying to keep her feelings first and mine on the back burner. She didnt want a shower and she didnt want to name him. And she doesnt want to bring him home. I feel like a terrible sister cause i dont know how to act. Its a huge secret. She doesnt want to talk about it. And im so confused. Is there anyone out there who as gone through this?
by on Jul. 13, 2014 at 3:05 PM
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Replies (1-10):
godsgirl26
by ♥Char2theMaine♥ on Jul. 13, 2014 at 3:43 PM
1 mom liked this
I have never gone through something like this so here is a bump.
DACIA79
by Silver Member on Jul. 13, 2014 at 5:59 PM
I would go for it. Has the father agreed to the adoption.

Green.Ghost
by Member on Jul. 13, 2014 at 6:01 PM

I've never went through it and you're awesome for adopting the baby and being a good sister to her!

hopefulmom14
by New Member on Jul. 13, 2014 at 6:52 PM
She hasn't spoken to him about it yet. Im waiting in her to do so. But I believe she's scared and wants to wait until baby is here. He refuses to mention the baby at all. Its all very confusing. I have everything set up for him in my house. Im just stressed shes going to change her mind at the end. Which is ok. But the situation shes going to take him into if she keeps him is not good.
MamaBearEH
by Member on Jul. 13, 2014 at 9:19 PM
1 mom liked this

I haven't experienced what you're going through, but giving up a child is incredibly hard to do.  She's probably scared & not sure how to deal with things.  Avoidance will only work for so long before she actually has to face reality.  All you can do is wait and support her.

I hope it works out well for you and the baby.  Keep us posted?

amberNewman0213
by Member on Jul. 13, 2014 at 9:24 PM
1 mom liked this
I'd probably talk to adoption lawyers and such about what needs to be done befor the baby's born. I'd also talk to her and let her know if she wants to back out you won't be mad or upset and understand completely. Maybe meet together with a consuler and discuss together a plan for everything. Does she open adoption? Closed adoption? Is she wanting the baby to know she is its mother? There is a lot that needs to be addressed befor the baby gets here so the baby is not coming into an unorganized mess and decisions arnt made at such an emotional time.
booaura
by Bronze Member on Jul. 13, 2014 at 10:33 PM
How old is she? Has the father agreed? I disagree very strongly with deciding to adopt before adoption, because there is a HUGE difference between being pregnant, and actually having the baby there. She's also incredibly hormonal right now, so again, a terrible time to make a choice. Have you written out an agreement yet, discussed the particulars?
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hopefulmom14
by New Member on Jul. 14, 2014 at 5:54 AM
1 mom liked this
We've discussed everything already and she's 22. But I told her there would be no papers signed or wrote out until after he comes. I told her that she can feel that way now but once she holds him it could all change.I have ttried getting her to talk to someone but she never shows up to the appointment. So I've given up on that part. It just floors me because this isn't her first child. She has a 3 year old from her ex husband. And she was so excited with her. She called me and sent pictures of the pregnancy test. And shouted it from the roof tops. This time ahe didn't tell anyone until she was nearly 5 months. I'm not sure what's going on.
hopefulmom14
by New Member on Jul. 14, 2014 at 5:58 AM
And the father and I don't get along very well. I dislike his past big time. I don't trust him. So I havent spoken to him about it. She doesn't want us to. I don't feel either one is safe with him. But she refuses to leave and I told her she knows him better than I do. But his police records scare me. So I'm not 100% sure how he feels or if he will sign
onethentwins
by Silver Member on Jul. 14, 2014 at 6:41 PM
1 mom liked this

I really admire you're attitude about her changing her mind.

What concerns me is how it's a huge secret and she doesn't want to talk about it.  So after the child is born and you adopt it, everyone is going to pretend that she's only an aunt? The child isn't going to know the truth? That all seems extremely unhealthy.

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