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is it me he doesn't care for or is he just selfish

Posted by on Jul. 16, 2014 at 10:04 AM
  • 24 Replies

my s/o never does chores or house work until i lost my job 2 months ago i was the only one working for 5 years and Im pretty sure I only ever came home to a "clean" house 3 or 4 times and only because his mom had came over and "helped" him clean. When I lost my job he got one, and he came home every night to a clean house and food! Now Im back at work and he still is working We work different days and I came home last night at 9pm and my house is trashed literally the trash hadnt even been taken out, so now Im home today and I know 2 wrongs dont make a right but Im so overwhelmed tired and frustrated with things that I dont want to clean not to mention we are out of garbage bags and I dont have a car but he knew yesterday we needed garbage bags and he had the car HELP!

by on Jul. 16, 2014 at 10:04 AM
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Replies (1-10):
3girls221111
by New Member on Jul. 16, 2014 at 10:05 AM
3 moms liked this

I honestly believe that men have no common sense.

Maime13
by Member on Jul. 16, 2014 at 10:16 AM

He's being lazy and selfish. It's easier to let you deal with stuff and since you do, "problem solved" in his mind. Chances are as well that your standards could be different. If he lived alone, there are things he might be willing to tolerate that you would not.

KimmyShaw
by Ruby Member on Jul. 16, 2014 at 10:17 AM

have you talk to him about it?

DancingMom32
by New Member on Jul. 16, 2014 at 10:18 AM

Me too but why did generations of parents really fail their sons so miserably! I swear men lack common sense, responsibility When men worked women stayed home and took care of home while now roles are changing but men wont take responsiblity for the house I think the woman of this day and age are taking on way more responsibilty than any generation of man has ever


BrownEyedGirl86
by Platinum Member on Jul. 16, 2014 at 10:18 AM

I don't think somemen see things the way most womene do.


Try talking to him about it make a shedule with him - who is responsible for what

DancingMom32
by New Member on Jul. 16, 2014 at 10:21 AM

yes ALL the time!!!!!

Quoting KimmyShaw:

have you talk to him about it?


DancingMom32
by New Member on Jul. 16, 2014 at 10:22 AM

And if that doesnt work?


Quoting BrownEyedGirl86:

I don't think somemen see things the way most womene do.

Try talking to him about it make a shedule with him - who is responsible for what


anzm33
by Member on Jul. 16, 2014 at 10:22 AM
My husband was like that until I had a huge breakdown (I went on a two week mom strike I quit cooking we ordered out every day I quit cleaning I quit doing everything drove him nuts the second week he took it all on to prove it can be done easily and learned dishes pile back up immediately kids and pets trash it immediately and it never ends).. now he does stuff here and there especially since im pregnant again and I dont even have to ask :) his mom suggested the strike thing btw ;) ... I believe its a male thing!! A lot of Males have this notion of "its a womans job" even if the womans working also..

Quoting DancingMom32:

my s/o never does chores or house work until i lost my job 2 months ago i was the only one working for 5 years and Im pretty sure I only ever came home to a "clean" house 3 or 4 times and only because his mom had came over and "helped" him clean. When I lost my job he got one, and he came home every night to a clean house and food! Now Im back at work and he still is working We work different days and I came home last night at 9pm and my house is trashed literally the trash hadnt even been taken out, so now Im home today and I know 2 wrongs dont make a right but Im so overwhelmed tired and frustrated with things that I dont want to clean not to mention we are out of garbage bags and I dont have a car but he knew yesterday we needed garbage bags and he had the car HELP!

BrownEyedGirl86
by Platinum Member on Jul. 16, 2014 at 10:24 AM

i never even thought of that - I just assumed with both adults working and knowing there were responsibilites at work...they would understand the same thing goes for at work....I don't know what to say if that doesn't work 


Quoting DancingMom32:

And if that doesnt work?


Quoting BrownEyedGirl86:

I don't think somemen see things the way most womene do.

Try talking to him about it make a shedule with him - who is responsible for what



DancingMom32
by New Member on Jul. 16, 2014 at 10:25 AM

I know mens standards of clean are different thats why ANY effort at all would make me feel so much better! I have tried to just ignore the mess before hoping he would do SOMETHING but he doesnt like he didnt even get garbage bags when I have reminded him daily starting an entire week before we ran out. I dont drive or Id just do it its so frustrating

Quoting Maime13:

He's being lazy and selfish. It's easier to let you deal with stuff and since you do, "problem solved" in his mind. Chances are as well that your standards could be different. If he lived alone, there are things he might be willing to tolerate that you would not.


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