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sex talks

Posted by on Jul. 21, 2014 at 6:39 PM
  • 11 Replies
I deleted my last post since it wouldn't let me edit it. Everyone was saying there is not just 1 talk. So let me ask, how do you bring up the first talk around the age of 8? My son is my oldest and I haven't had to do this yet. I already get that it is more than a one time thing so please give me advice on how to start them. Thanks!
by on Jul. 21, 2014 at 6:39 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Mamacitta
by Member on Jul. 21, 2014 at 10:45 PM
That's tough. My guy has an 8 yr old from a diff relationship. They watch wonder years and talk about all kinds of crazy stuff afterward. It's super cute. Plus he is curious ( the boy) he's been drawing pics and randomly asks questions. I would be aggressive. Ask him if he has questions. Don't b scared. It's simple to the little ones. Keep it real. He will respect u for it. Although when my 9 mo old asks me at eight about that jazz, hope I can take my own advice.
ChristineTate
by Member on Jul. 22, 2014 at 9:04 AM

I turned "Days of Our Lives" on in the living room knowing she'd be curious about what I was watching (she had never seen soap operas before).  Sure enough, within 10-15 minutes, 2 characters where in bed with the sheets discretely wrapped to their armpits going at it.  She asked me what they were doing.  I clicked the TV off and started the conversation.

vbway
by Member on Jul. 22, 2014 at 12:47 PM
2 moms liked this

My dd started asking where babies come from around age 4. I gave them the basics and then just kept telling them more as they asked. When my oldest was 5 and a half, she walked up to me and bluntly asked me what sex was and I told her.  I just let my kids take the lead. But they are both very verbal and not afraid to ask questions. If your child doesn't initiate the questions you will have to start the dialog.  My dd has a book on her body and it really helps. 

Court112
by Member on Jul. 22, 2014 at 1:51 PM

I wouldnt know how to start this talk either, but i think your way would be good teach them slowly at a young age and you would aviod the awkward phase as their old and would probably benefit from it more because their interested in listening! I never thought of it that way. 

Quoting vbway:

My dd started asking where babies come from around age 4. I gave them the basics and then just kept telling them more as they asked. When my oldest was 5 and a half, she walked up to me and bluntly asked me what sex was and I told her.  I just let my kids take the lead. But they are both very verbal and not afraid to ask questions. If your child doesn't initiate the questions you will have to start the dialog.  My dd has a book on her body and it really helps. 


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buttercup24
by Member on Jul. 22, 2014 at 2:04 PM
My oldest is 10 and I know we need to have a talk with him about things but me and my husband don't even know where to start. Neither one of us had that going up we had to figure it out ourselves. So can anyone help with advice?
vbway
by Member on Jul. 22, 2014 at 2:04 PM

Me explaining what sex was was really awkward. But the good thing is that now my dd is 8 and she doesn't remember the conversation. My dd8 will ask a million questions until she is satisfied that she is getting the whole truth. So yes, it was a bit weird. But like I said, it has been a few years and she doesn't remember the conversation but she knows what sex is, what it for and how it works. 

And you are right about it being easier to talk to them when they are young. They don't yet have that know it all attitude, nor have they learned that it is an embarrassing topic. It also helps to give them correct information before they get misinformation at school or from the neighborhood kids. 

Quoting Court112:

I wouldnt know how to start this talk either, but i think your way would be good teach them slowly at a young age and you would aviod the awkward phase as their old and would probably benefit from it more because their interested in listening! I never thought of it that way. 

Quoting vbway:

My dd started asking where babies come from around age 4. I gave them the basics and then just kept telling them more as they asked. When my oldest was 5 and a half, she walked up to me and bluntly asked me what sex was and I told her.  I just let my kids take the lead. But they are both very verbal and not afraid to ask questions. If your child doesn't initiate the questions you will have to start the dialog.  My dd has a book on her body and it really helps. 



vbway
by Member on Jul. 22, 2014 at 2:10 PM
1 mom liked this

At 10, if you haven't started discussing sex, I think you should get him a book. You read the book, then give him the book to read. Then after he has time to think about it, sit down and discuss it. 

Quoting buttercup24: My oldest is 10 and I know we need to have a talk with him about things but me and my husband don't even know where to start. Neither one of us had that going up we had to figure it out ourselves. So can anyone help with advice?


buttercup24
by Member on Jul. 22, 2014 at 2:28 PM
Ok thanks.

Quoting vbway:

At 10, if you haven't started discussing sex, I think you should get him a book. You read the book, then give him the book to read. Then after he has time to think about it, sit down and discuss it. 

Quoting buttercup24: My oldest is 10 and I know we need to have a talk with him about things but me and my husband don't even know where to start. Neither one of us had that going up we had to figure it out ourselves. So can anyone help with advice?

Maime13
by Member on Jul. 22, 2014 at 3:50 PM

They say if you haven't talked to them by 9, you've already lost the race. Their friends have already started filling their ears with "knowledge".

Check out "The Boy's Body Book" as a good jumping off point for the younger boys. The "Care and Keeping of You" books are nice for girls.


MamaBearEH
by Member on Jul. 22, 2014 at 3:57 PM

Yah... I think people wait way too long in general.

He may be more comfortable talking to a male as well, so consider that.  Otherwise, I think the "talks" should start with little kids & a pregnant woman.  They are curious, and will probably ask you.  You can always provoke the conversation yourself by asking them if they know what's happening, what they think about it, how the baby got there, and go HONESTLY from there.  Books are great as an aide too, because there is only so much you can explain verbally.

Quoting Maime13:

They say if you haven't talked to them by 9, you've already lost the race. Their friends have already started filling their ears with "knowledge".


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