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What to do about college student ds?

Posted by on Jul. 22, 2014 at 10:15 PM
  • 5 Replies

My ods is in his last year of college (he just turned 20 this past Saturday). The college he chose to attend is a for profit college, they do quarters and he's been going to school year round since he started in Sept 2012. (he gets breaks in between quarters about 7-10 days). His major is Graphic Design. He attended a summer studio before choosing to apply here, fell in love with the school.

The quarter that ended in June, was especially trying for him. He was working too much and his grades suffered. He failed a class, (not so much due to working) but because he didn't understand the content (it was a web design class, and involved coding which isn't his thing, and didn't get helpful help from the instructor). Additionally he lost a job he liked because his boss didn't want to deal with his school schedule anymore. (he told ds, "I want to schedule people where and when I want to.").

He says instructors are leaving and he can barely find people working there. (not so sure how much of an exaggeration this is..but nevertheless)..the school was renting the 2nd and 3rd floors from a hospital, who has now, taken those floors back and the students have been moved to the basement. He's watched his friends who still live in dorms get bounced around for a year to 4 different living situations. (we got him an apt, 'off campus' because it was far cheaper than dorm housing.)

Ods, is super pissed and disappointed, and wants to leave. Because the school does quarters his classes are NON transferrable, and if he left he'd have to start all over from the beginning. We've got about $80-$85K in student loans, and he's scheduled to graduate next June. (he's got 5 quarters left inlcuding the one he just started)

While I WANT to support him in this decision, his father and I can't financially support the decision. I had to cosign his loans. And if he does leave he'll have to start over, we'll be adding another $80K to the existing loans. Not to mention he'll spend 6 years in college getting a 4 year degree. Additionally he just signed a lease on a new apt that won't end until Sept 2015. AND my yds is starting college in Sept.

He knew when he signed up for this school that the credits would NOT transfer. He's saying now, that he didn't know. I remember specifically telling him, "if you go here, you're committed, your credits won't transfer, not even the gen eds" he said "I really, really want to go here." 

This is what I've told him at this point. 

1. You knew the credits wouldn't transfer, if you want to transfer look into what if anything will transfer. Try the registrar's office.

2. You don't have to find a job (he's always been motivated to work, and has found jobs, he's not lazy). Focus on school for this quarter let's see where things are with the fall quarter and we'll go from there. (he's got 4 people asking him to make designs over and above his classes, these are things he can put in his portfolio, 2 are willing to pay him)

3. It's always toughest the last year into graduation. Hang in there. You're doing good work. I think you'll be happy you stuck it out, in the end.

Please don't bash me. I feel horrible I can't suck up $85K in loans and say 'ok choose another college'. I pulled money out of 1 of my retirement accts to pay down my 2nd mortgage to refi the house to be able to pay off debt and help him with his student loans after he graduates.

He chose to go here, it was literally the only school he applied to. Any advice you can offer would be appreciated. 


by on Jul. 22, 2014 at 10:15 PM
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Replies (1-5):
lucky2Beeme
by Platinum Member on Jul. 22, 2014 at 10:19 PM
1 mom liked this

He needs to suck it up. I wouldn't be willing to take out more loans. Tell him if he quits and want another school he needs to find a way to finance it and pay the rent on his apt.

143myboys9496
by Gold Member on Jul. 22, 2014 at 10:22 PM

I don't mean to make him sound like an ungrateful kid, because he's not. He always says 'thank you' and I know he appreciates the things I do for him. 

He sort of got like this his senior year of high school. Dh and I thought he wouldn't graduate. He talked about quitting and not doing homework anymore..stuff like that.

Quoting lucky2Beeme:

He needs to suck it up. I wouldn't be willing to take out more loans. Tell him if he quits and want another school he needs to find a way to finance it and pay the rent on his apt.


lucky2Beeme
by Platinum Member on Jul. 22, 2014 at 10:26 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting 143myboys9496:

I don't mean to make him sound like an ungrateful kid, because he's not. He always says 'thank you' and I know he appreciates the things I do for him. 

He sort of got like this his senior year of high school. Dh and I thought he wouldn't graduate. He talked about quitting and not doing homework anymore..stuff like that.

Quoting lucky2Beeme:

He needs to suck it up. I wouldn't be willing to take out more loans. Tell him if he quits and want another school he needs to find a way to finance it and pay the rent on his apt.

  I didnt think he was. I based my answer on the fact. You have already taken money out for his education.You have another child to help with college.  You can not afford another $80,000. He needs to understand this.

Surround yourself with people that add to your life not subtract from it.

jconney80
by Platinum Member on Jul. 22, 2014 at 11:41 PM
1 mom liked this

It sounds like you need to tell him to suck it up. It sounds like he's making excuses. So what if the school is doing that to other students? Is it messed up...sure. But it isn't even affecting him. He's already put so much time into this. It doesn't make sense to give up. I don't understand why you feel bad for not being able to start over for paying for his college. There is nothing to feel bad about. Most people would not do that either. Can he find a job on campus? I'm sure if he waits it out he will find a job. Bosses are going to be like that. It's part of life. They don't want to hire people who need lots of schedule changes and have a tough schedule to work with. I'm not trying to sound harsh but I was once that kid who made that mistake. I would do what you can do to keep him in school there. He only has one year. When you're an adult and trying to pay your own bills without a college education it makes one year of college seem like 4 because it's so hard to do school AND work full time (when you think about going back). I hope you can get through to him! 

ShoeStrings
by Member on Jul. 22, 2014 at 11:45 PM
1 mom liked this

He needs to graduate and if he wants to attend another college after that, he can do it himself. I would NOT pay for him to start all over after he went this far. The problems he's having now won't magically disappear at a different school. He at least should have a degree from where he is now after all that money. 

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