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*New here* REALLY need advice for losing patience with kids

Posted by on Jul. 24, 2014 at 2:14 AM
  • 5 Replies

I'm looking for advice on how to cope/deal with stressful situations with family/kids. I have a 6yo, 4yo and 2yo. I work part time and go to school full time. Lately I feel like my life is always in a rush. I am forever in a hurry to get things done. It's causing me to lose patience with my family. I lose patience with my children and end up yelling at them, which I hate, but can't seem to stop. I feel like I have to yell to get them to do what I ask of them. I get irritated at stupid stuff, like when they spill their milk or if they dont do a daily chore like feeding the dog. I end up getting mad and screaming and losing control. I'm at the point of feeling like something is wrong with me and how could I yell at my kids like this? I love them very much and I dont want them to grow up hating me or being scared of me because I freak out at everything and start yelling. I didn't get along with my mom because all she did was yell at me all the time and I vowed to not do it, but now I cant seem to help but do it. Help! Does anyone have any good stress relievers, or coping mechanisms, or advice on how to better deal with these situations and not freak out all the time? Thank you!

by on Jul. 24, 2014 at 2:14 AM
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by on Jul. 24, 2014 at 2:38 AM
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When you are feeling anxious and overwhelmed just take a moment to yourself, go somewhere quiet and breathe. It can be quite difficult to keep calm with such a busy life and young children at such demanding ages. Have you tried implementing a chore/reward chart? The dollar tree has many ! It can help relieve some stress from you and get your little ones excited about doing their chores and helping out mommy! Candy doesn't have to be a reward, you can take them to the dollar tree, dollar section at target, or wherever and let them pick out 1-3 things either weekly or bi weekly. Also, you cannot expect them to do things they are not mentally capable of. Your 4 and 2 year olds aren't really built to be quiet or sit still an their minds are going millions of miles a minute and shouldn't be help responsible for accidentally spilling their milk or forgetting to do something. While they aren't infants, just the same they are still learning about their capabilities and the world around them.
by Ruby Member on Jul. 24, 2014 at 10:07 AM

Do you have a friend or family member that could step in and help! Even if you just go and relax for an hour it could help~ Hugs!

by on Jul. 24, 2014 at 10:55 AM

To me it sounds like everything is worse because you are overtired and have your hands too full. 

Can you try a visual chart for chores?  Once they do a chore, they get a sticker and at the end of the week get a reward based on the stickers (could be something like one-on-one time or going to the park).

Good luck!

by Bronze Member on Jul. 24, 2014 at 1:02 PM
This might sound crazy but wine!! A glass of wine would calm you. Then think of ways to say what you need to but in a calm manner. I use to do the same thing. Sometimes I still do but I've realized it's not what I'm saying it's how. If you start saying it in a inside voice you'll start to feel better, because teaching & disciplining kids is 247.
by Platinum Member on Jul. 24, 2014 at 1:16 PM

I agree with the other ladies, you need to get some rest and take a step back when you're feeling overwhelmed.  Tell the kids you need to take a bath when you get home so that you can relax and all have a happy evening.  The 6 year old should be able to entertain the younger 2 for 30 minutes while you're in the tub.

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