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If the surgeon is good at what they do, does it matter if there is no bedside manner?

Posted by on Jul. 29, 2014 at 2:14 PM
  • 44 Replies

My husband's surgeon is recommended in his field, but when we saw him today for the post recovery period check up, the doctor acted as though he wanted to race from the room rather than answer our questions. He was professional.  He just didn't behave as though he was interested in the patient. Since he is a good surgeon, being personable isn't required.

by on Jul. 29, 2014 at 2:14 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Maime13
by Member on Jul. 29, 2014 at 2:21 PM
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Unless they are seriously *THE* best at what they do and what they do is something extremely rare and unusual, then yes it matters. There are lots of Dr's who are good at their job and pleasant.

Bmat
by Ruby Member on Jul. 29, 2014 at 2:29 PM

I see what you mean. I just wasn't sure. He did a good job (as far as we can tell- major surgery) on my husband. I was just taken aback that an event that affected our lives so much was just uninteresting to him.

Quoting Maime13:

Unless they are seriously *THE* best at what they do and what they do is something extremely rare and unusual, then yes it matters. There are lots of Dr's who are good at their job and pleasant.


twoboysforus
by New Member on Jul. 29, 2014 at 2:41 PM

I think they are both equally important. Part of being a doctor is to not only help your patient physically but to also be there in some ways for your patient's emotional needs. Basically, showing compassion, understanding and concern for your patient's well-being is part of what a doctor should be providing. There are so many doctors out there who truly care and show interest in their patient's recovery, that a lot of people won't settle for one who truly is only interested in getting them out the door.

Bmat
by Ruby Member on Jul. 29, 2014 at 2:48 PM

And the patient knows that they are being rushed for sure. Something I like about my family doctor is that he cares.

Quoting twoboysforus:

I think they are both equally important. Part of being a doctor is to not only help your patient physically but to also be there in some ways for your patient's emotional needs. Basically, showing compassion, understanding and concern for your patient's well-being is part of what a doctor should be providing. There are so many doctors out there who truly care and show interest in their patient's recovery, that a lot of people won't settle for one who truly is only interested in getting them out the door.


Clairwil
by Silver Member on Jul. 30, 2014 at 5:35 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting Bmat:

the doctor acted as though he wanted to race from the room rather than answer our questions

How coherent were you?   Did you have the questions worked out in advance?  Had you done some basic research beforehand?


In other words, how respectful of his time were you?

ljmom24
by Member on Jul. 30, 2014 at 8:16 AM
1 mom liked this

To me yes. There are 2 surgeons on DS specialty team and one is an A$$ with a God complex and ZERO bedside manner. We found out he had a birth defect before birth so did research and was warned about him so actually went with a less popular childrens hospital (there are 3 major childrens hospitals plus a shriners team in the same city) because we fell in love with surgeon and his AWESOME bedside manner. 

His birth defect involves multiple disiplines and were seeing an ENT with the rudest staff that worked with this team. Found out the surgeon we picked the team for was retiring and wouldn't be operating on DS by the next time he would need that service but we had to deal the ENT for the immediate future we decided to shop around. Ironically our surgeon used to work with the A$$ and I can see how they didn't mesh. Found out because the A$$ is getting on up there too they hired another surgeon on that team so we met with him and while not as awesome a bedside manner as old surgeon he at least spoke to us people not minons like the other guy.

When DS was 4 a friend had a baby with a similar defect but was not discovered until birth and he was shipped to closest childrens hospital and ended up with the A$$. She had a rough delivery and her DH is not the brightest bulb (he is actually an old friend of DH and we love him but its not all his fault school really failed him and he graduated with an undiagnosised learning disablity and couldn't read). This was new to him he didn't know medical stuff his wife was still in another hopsital and this A$$ pretty much berated him in the NICU. Their son's isn't as complex and have already been dismissed from needing to follow up with the team so they don't have to deal with him, but it wasn't just the DH. The grandfather was a dentist and the grandmother a nurse and still treated like minions. Have another friend I met through my son who sees him and they just put up with up with it and his nurse is good at explaining to bewildered parents what the a$$ should.

I just don't get it when I read comments on boards from people who use this A$$ they honostly believe his I am the only one who can help your kid I am God attitude when he isn't even chair of the department anymore. The other guy is and he is the one the hospital gives all the press to. Think I do see things different then others. My mom is a nurse and she deals with awesome Dr and jerks at work and for our own care she always wanted the good bedside maner types.

quickbooksworm
by Silver Member on Jul. 30, 2014 at 8:24 AM
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I want the better surgeon and don't care about his bedside manner. I grew up around a teaching hospital where my mom worked. Doctors are people too.... Some have aspergers or OCD, some are jackasses, some are good with people, some tell it like it is.

You have no idea what else was going on in his day.
pixie-buttercup
by Member on Jul. 30, 2014 at 8:30 AM
1 mom liked this

If I need surgery, I want my surgeon to be great. I'm not there to make a new buddy. I worked as a post-op nurse for 7yrs and there is a small handful of surgeons I would let operate on me. My first choice is the one who walks around like a little Napoleon. He MF'd me about calling him in the middle of the night about one of his patients a few years ago. He actually screamed the F word about 6 times in one sentence. But he's the one I'd choose. His patients rarely, if ever, have post-op complications. 

happynewyorker
by Member on Jul. 30, 2014 at 8:35 AM
1 mom liked this

from my own experience.  Last year my doctor was on vacation and I saw his replacement.  He was stone cold didn't have a friendly personality and was straight forward and cold and distance.  When my doctor returned I mentioned my experience to him. He said that he's one of the best orthopedic doctors around but when it comes to his bedside manner he has none.  He told me that when he told his friend the doctor he needed to change. He told him, he's good at what he does.  That's all that matters.

LadyMarissa
by Member on Jul. 30, 2014 at 8:49 AM
1 mom liked this

It would matter to me!!!  IF he's NOT willing to answer my questions, then he actually is NOT good for me!!!  He's obviously good at smoozing other doctors for referrals.  He might be one of those who pays a kickback for EVERY referral!!!  Since your visit was post op, I'd hope I NEVER had to see him again.  For me, IF he had been like that pre op, I'd have been looking for another surgeon...for me, TRUST is worth as much as skill!!!

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