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should i tell him?

Posted by on Aug. 3, 2014 at 7:11 PM
  • 10 Replies

Well me and my boyfriend have been dating for 8 months now and things have been a little rocky the last couple of months. He's been distant and less intimate with me. He is also a police officer so he works 12 hour very busy shifts and he blames it on being tired and what not, and maybe that's just it and I'm just not understaning. Well he left his laptop over last night and this morning I got curious and I looked through it just cuz he's acting like he's cheating on me being distant and stuff and I found two pictures of him and his ex girlfriend that he dated for 4 years and broke up 2 years ago. It didn't bother me much since it's been so long but I feel like maybe he still has feelings for her cuz I don't know why he would keep it this long. Should I tell him about the picture and that I looked through his laptop? Any advice would help, thank you!

by on Aug. 3, 2014 at 7:11 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Hottmomma607
by Trica on Aug. 3, 2014 at 9:00 PM
1 mom liked this
No you shouldn't tell and my opinion you shouldn't be upset about it either.

Quoting Lizeth55:

Well me and my boyfriend have been dating for 8 months now and things have been a little rocky the last couple of months. He's been distant and less intimate with me. He is also a police officer so he works 12 hour very busy shifts and he blames it on being tired and what not, and maybe that's just it and I'm just not understaning. Well he left his laptop over last night and this morning I got curious and I looked through it just cuz he's acting like he's cheating on me being distant and stuff and I found two pictures of him and his ex girlfriend that he dated for 4 years and broke up 2 years ago. It didn't bother me much since it's been so long but I feel like maybe he still has feelings for her cuz I don't know why he would keep it this long. Should I tell him about the picture and that I looked through his laptop? Any advice would help, thank you!

Lizeth55
by on Aug. 3, 2014 at 10:41 PM

But you don't see it as lingering feelings, like he hasn't let go completely?

nayeli.c
by on Aug. 3, 2014 at 10:50 PM

Nope. I have pictures of my ex's. It's memories, it doesn't mean I want to date them again... I don't, but it was good times =)

olst0032
by New Member on Aug. 3, 2014 at 11:04 PM
It could be absolutely anything that is bothering him at this point... trouble at work, trouble with family...or maybe he's seeing an ex. The point is, if he hasn't told you, you don't know. And if you don't know and just start speculating and becoming fearful of what it MIGHT be, you're only increasing the distance between you. Be supportive and understanding and the truth will come out.
Lizeth55
by on Aug. 4, 2014 at 12:08 AM

Nayeli do you have a boyfriend and does he care you have the pictures?

Lizeth55
by on Aug. 4, 2014 at 12:11 AM

 

Quoting olst0032: It could be absolutely anything that is bothering him at this point... trouble at work, trouble with family...or maybe he's seeing an ex. The point is, if he hasn't told you, you don't know. And if you don't know and just start speculating and becoming fearful of what it MIGHT be, you're only increasing the distance between you. Be supportive and understanding and the truth will come out.

 I get what you're saying. We have been dating 8 months now andhe talks about getting serious but he still has a back up house he stays with me every night, and he eats showers here practically lives here. Yet he still,has his house to fall back on. So it makes me feel like he's not completely into me only.

beadingmom17
by Rachel on Aug. 4, 2014 at 12:23 AM
It's been 8 months, not 8 years! Geez...what's the rush? I find it smart that he hasn't ditched his house.

Quoting Lizeth55:

 


Quoting olst0032: It could be absolutely anything that is bothering him at this point... trouble at work, trouble with family...or maybe he's seeing an ex. The point is, if he hasn't told you, you don't know. And if you don't know and just start speculating and becoming fearful of what it MIGHT be, you're only increasing the distance between you. Be supportive and understanding and the truth will come out.

 I get what you're saying. We have been dating 8 months now andhe talks about getting serious but he still has a back up house he stays with me every night, and he eats showers here practically lives here. Yet he still,has his house to fall back on. So it makes me feel like he's not completely into me only.

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MrsGibson2013
by on Aug. 4, 2014 at 12:24 AM
I have pictures of my ex boyfriend who was my first and they are memories of fun times I spent with great friends my husband doesn't care and I wouldn't care if he had pictures to.
rebelmomma4508
by Member on Aug. 4, 2014 at 12:41 AM
Have u tried making a special dinner & dressing up for him? I wouldn't just jump to conclusions hes cheating. He does have a demanding job. Id try surprises...like the dinner or breakfast...whatever works with his hours. Be supportive of his job bcuz fact is a man cant concentrate on a relationship & moving forward if hes not where he wants to be financially in life.
ElishaF
by Member on Aug. 4, 2014 at 12:41 AM
I still have pictures of my ex-boyfriends. I don't have lingering feelings for any of them, but they were a big part of my life for a time. My husband still has pictures of his ex-girlfriends also. We have been together for 12 years. Neither of us has a problem with the other keeping the pictures. He still talks to a few of them. We are good friends with the last person he dated (before me) and her husband. We hung out with them every weekend before we moved out of state. I wouldn't tell him you were snooping and found her picture unless you want to open up Pandora's box.
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