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Desperately needing advice

Posted by on Aug. 13, 2014 at 3:22 AM
  • 23 Replies
Hi, im a single mother of three. I went through a divorce in 2005, since then ive been raising my children with no help from their father nor from the government or my family. Ive worked 2 & 3 jobs at a time to support my children. My own mother wouldn't even help me she actually tried to get me to abort all three of my children. I wanted my kids more than anything. After my daughter was born in 2007 I went through an extremely hard time and was finally being welcomed by mother whom I hadn't spoke to in years, I thought she was ready to be a mother to me and a grandmother to my children. She opened her home to me and my children after 13 yrs of not being under her roof. After living with her for about three years things weren't getting any better, and our relationship became worse. I had a job offer in another state which would mean my children and I would be back under our own roof again. Ive worked really hard with my kids to make good grades and to be the best they can be. When I talked to my mother about the job opportunity she said it was great, and that she supported me. I didn't want to disrupt my children's schooling if things didnt work out, I had made an agreement with my mother( who is a paralegal for a family attorney) that I would go to the other state get thehouse ready and wait for spring break (which was only two months away)to make the trtransition easier fpr my children. I spoke to my kids and asked them their opinion as I never made a move on anything without their input or let them know what was going on for I was all they had. My children loved the idea of moving to another state and were extremely excited. When it came time for me to pick my kids up from my mothers and bring them home, she served me with emergency court papers saying she was taking my children from me. I never thought in my wildest dreams that my own mother would try to do somthing like this. We ended up going to court and the judge granted her temporary custody. Its been 2 years since my children have been back in my care my mother will not let me see them and monitors all communication. Im trying to get an attorney to represent me in taking my mother back to court as I fear if I go back in that court room alone she could end up getting full custody because of who she is in our small town. Every attorney ive spoke with wants at 5000.00 up front before they will even look at my case. Im dying without my children and my kids arent in any better shape they want to be with me where they belong and they tell their grandmother on a daily bases. I need help and have no where else to turn, I dont know what to do or how to come up with an extra $5000.00. If anyone has any insight on what I can do it would be greatly appreciated. I ask for prayers of strength and guidance for myself and my children. God bless and hold your babies tight, you never know what could happen.
by on Aug. 13, 2014 at 3:22 AM
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Replies (1-10):
schultzal
by Bronze Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 4:27 AM
I am so sorry this happened to you. Your mother sounds like a terrible person. Have you looked up legal aid in your state?
motherunderfire
by New Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 6:56 AM
Thank you, my mother is a very bitter unhappy person and has major control issues. I have looked into legal aid and I was told because there is already an order that there is nothing they can do. Ive spoke to more attorneys than I have fingers and toes, and every one of them have told me that what was done to my children and I was very wrong on the judges part due to the fact she could not prove me unfit. There aren't any grounds on why she set the order. Its not even our paper work on why my children were taking from me. But along with speaking to these attorneys they all want money up front due to the economy. So Im guessing because im broke I cant have my children. Ive tried to work out payment plans and all, I have managed to rebuild my credit from my marriage and try and save as much money as possible along with still trying to pay bills and send my kids money for the things they need. If I had it to do over again my children and I would have lived in my SUV for a short time until I was able to get moved. The only regret I have in my life was moving back into my mothers home and trusting her.
funhappymom
by Silver Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 8:33 AM

I'm confused. How long have they been living with your mom? That will have a great influnece on the judge and getting your kids back.

I'm sorry but it sounds like you choice is to save up the money for the lawyer. Good luck!

motherunderfire
by New Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 9:57 AM
All in all theyve been under my mothers roof for 5 yrs. But its only been the last two that they have been there without me. While I was living there with my children my mother wasnt the provider for them I was, I cooked, I cleaned, I took my kids to school I picked them up our routine didnt change just because I moved into her home. She still really didnt have much to do with my children. Thank you for your comment and yes living under her roof has had a major impact on all of our lives. There was a reason I left at 16, I just wish I was I would've trusted my own instincts and stayed gone.
booaura
by Bronze Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 10:53 AM
If she was granted emergency custody, there was a reason for that. If you can't afford $500, how do you plan to afford your children? Some lawyers will do pro bono work, but they usually only take legitimate cases, though you can always try. Otherwise, find another job and start saving.But really, how have you not managed to save so little in two years?
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JanetteA
by New Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 3:32 PM

To get custody, your mother had to prove to the court that you were an unfit parent. 

Seems to me you are leaving something out here. 

happynewyorker
by Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 4:29 PM
3 moms liked this

Hi Motherunderfire - I read your post and the other replies.  One thing you need to do as you are a party to this action, is go to court, with some form of ID and make a copy of the file.  Since you are a party to this action you have the right to this.  Bring lots of change for the copying.

One thing you should find out is why you cannot see your children. I understand she monitors everything because she feels that she is protecting them.

Second, since legal aid won't help.  Contact your local bar association, it should be online.  Many will help you find a lawyer with a reasonable fee.  If they can't help.  Go towards the area politician and see there help.  Bring with you all the copies of the court's files, transcripts everything with you.  Ask them to help.  They should be able to help you.

With regard to lawyers I understand the 5K to be retained.  Some will have you pay until you reach paying the full 5K.  Which can take time.  With regard to your current employer anyone that you can speak to that can recommend someone?  If not, then go to court copy everything in the court's file.  Transcripts everything.  Then go to your local congress, local politician in your area.  Someone running for re-election, ask them to help.  This is your best bet.

It seems that the lawyer your mom works for, had connections with the court.  She must have said horrible things about you, for him to take the initiative to hear her case. 

You're mother sounds like a BITCH!!  I hate to say.  Someone you though you could trust. 

best of luck.  I hope my suggestions point you to the right person to help.

DellaG
by New Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 5:08 PM
1 mom liked this

One more idea to throw at you, what kind of company do you work for? If it is a big corporation they have lawyers on retainer. Maybe your employers can help you... I am not here to judge you as I was in a similar situation once... And it had nothing to do with my being an unfit mother btw...

motherunderfire
by New Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 5:36 PM
I manage to get by God always provides a way, and I never said I didnt have any money saved. I do by the way, but it takes time especially when you live in reality. Most ppl dont have the ectra 5 thousand dollars lying around.

Quoting booaura: If she was granted emergency custody, there was a reason for that. If you can't afford $500, how do you plan to afford your children? Some lawyers will do pro bono work, but they usually only take legitimate cases, though you can always try. Otherwise, find another job and start saving.But really, how have you not managed to save so little in two years?
Allieverwant
by New Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 10:09 PM


Quoting JanetteA:

To get custody, your mother had to prove to the court that you were an unfit parent. 

Seems to me you are leaving something out here. 

I am thinking the same thing.  The judge won't just give custody to mom for no reason at all.

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