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I feel like I'm drowning

Posted by on Aug. 30, 2014 at 4:03 PM
  • 9 Replies
I feel like I'm drowning and there's no one to save me I am a mother to one step to two and playing mommy to my niece and nephew we live in his parents basement to help with the children they have custody over and both in laws health isn't that great plus my mother in laws mother lives there too ( this is a big house so there is a lot of room) my husband works while I stay home and take care of the baby and the chores of the house hold and making sure my mother in law doesn't have a seizure he has no respect for me as his wife and the mother of his child. He never tries to see his two kids from a previous marriage or even calls them he doesn't really spend any time with our child now and if I ask him to he gets mad at me and then for me asking to take a relaxing bath without no interruptions for just a little bit is to much to ask. When he comes home he either lays in bed and watches tv with the door closed and gets mad if me and my baby go in there or he's taking a nap. He doesn't understand I need to have time for myself every once in a while. He gets mad when I ask for love for affection for time together . Everything is always on his terms. He gets to mad sometimes and takes it out on me... :/
by on Aug. 30, 2014 at 4:03 PM
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Replies (1-9):
hugss
by Emerald Member on Aug. 30, 2014 at 4:45 PM

Welcome to CafeMom,
so sorry this is happening.
Do his other kids live with you as well?  Where are the parents of your niice & nephew?
How old is your baby>  Do you have any of your family close by?
Whne you say he gets angry .. does he hurt you?
Hugs to you & nice to meet you :)

Quoting Skiggy13: I feel like I'm drowning and there's no one to save me I am a mother to one step to two and playing mommy to my niece and nephew we live in his parents basement to help with the children they have custody over and both in laws health isn't that great plus my mother in laws mother lives there too ( this is a big house so there is a lot of room) my husband works while I stay home and take care of the baby and the chores of the house hold and making sure my mother in law doesn't have a seizure he has no respect for me as his wife and the mother of his child. He never tries to see his two kids from a previous marriage or even calls them he doesn't really spend any time with our child now and if I ask him to he gets mad at me and then for me asking to take a relaxing bath without no interruptions for just a little bit is to much to ask. When he comes home he either lays in bed and watches tv with the door closed and gets mad if me and my baby go in there or he's taking a nap. He doesn't understand I need to have time for myself every once in a while. He gets mad when I ask for love for affection for time together . Everything is always on his terms. He gets to mad sometimes and takes it out on me... :/


Skiggy13
by New Member on Aug. 30, 2014 at 8:06 PM
The niece and nephews parents are divorced and got into bad crowds. The step kids live with their mother and he has 3 times
Hugs back nice to meet you too
booaura
by Bronze Member on Aug. 30, 2014 at 8:07 PM
So move out, if things are so bad, and file for divorce if he doesn't care about you.
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hugss
by Emerald Member on Aug. 30, 2014 at 8:26 PM

Is your own family near by?
If he has hurt/hit you .. I would suggest you seek help from somene :)

Quoting Skiggy13: The niece and nephews parents are divorced and got into bad crowds. The step kids live with their mother and he has 3 times Hugs back nice to meet you too


p0etic0ne
by New Member on Aug. 30, 2014 at 11:10 PM
I don't know how long you've been married, but men sometimes just don't realize that being home all day with an infant isn't exactly easy. And it sounds like your hudsband is dealing with some selfishness too. Obviously he needs to be more understanding to your feeling, and all you can do is to continue getting that across.

You may want to look for local groups or friends who also stay at home for moral support. Take walks through a park or neighborhood for some mental peace, especially if your baby is old enough. Taking care of other kids is already a bit much, and just appears to be too much for you. You don't need anyone's permission for time to yourself. You will learn in due time creative ways to make that happen as a mom. God Bless.
beadingmom17
by Rachel on Aug. 30, 2014 at 11:17 PM
Was he like that toward his kids before you married him? Because if he was that dismissive, it can't really be that much of a shock that he'd be hands off with your child together.

You either have to be forceful with him and find a way to make him respect you or leave the situation.
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Skiggy13
by New Member on Sep. 23, 2014 at 3:53 PM
No he acted like he was mr mom
Bmat
by Ruby Member on Sep. 23, 2014 at 3:59 PM

He takes it out on you? You mean he hits you? In this case get out right away.

Here is a violence hotline: 800-799- 7233 (safe)

Bmat
by Ruby Member on Sep. 23, 2014 at 4:01 PM

If this is a change in his behavior, the first thing that is recommended is that he needs a medical checkup to make sure everything is working well. A change of behavior can mean an organ malfunctioning or other medical issues.

Get counseling.

If you determine that the marriage cannot be saved, then get a lawyer so that you will know how to protect your rights and those of your child.

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