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please help

Posted by on Dec. 31, 2014 at 10:19 PM
  • 10 Replies
I love my baby vary much but recently he has been driving me crazy. I went to the doc. And they said he is going through seperation issues. . I became a stay at home mom to spend more time with him but its only gotten he starts scream til he thoughs up and hyperventilates. So I tryed letting him cry it out but he doesn't stop. Im going out of my mind I cant clean my house or even go pee. Im so depressed please help! Thank you
by on Dec. 31, 2014 at 10:19 PM
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by Ruby Member on Dec. 31, 2014 at 10:44 PM

Hi I have some high needs kiddos so I can totally relate!! How old is he? I might be able to give you some pointers on how to deal with it. My daughter went through this and finally by the time she was almost 3 she started to get over it after I worked with her a lot.

by on Dec. 31, 2014 at 11:04 PM
He is 10 months and thank you for replying
by Ruby Member on Dec. 31, 2014 at 11:08 PM

You're so welcome. I really understand. My two younger kids were very clingy. It can be a totally normal phase. Some kids are more intense with it than others. My kids didn't ever want to be put down! You always hear the opposite of this but I found that the more that I met my kids needs the better it got when they were older. My son is now almost 5 and my daughter is 3. They are very well adjusted because I met their needs when they needed it the most. At 10 months it's developmentally normal to not understand object permanance. That means that babies don't understand that when you leave the room you still exist lol. That concept usually comes a little after they are a year old. But they seem to go through it again closer to 18 months and 24 months again too. They go through periods of separation anxiety. I'm sure some kids are much more intense with it. I always wore my kids in a carrier to get household chores done because they wouldn't really let me put them down or go out of the room. 

Quoting leeams-mommy: He is 10 months and thank you for replying

by Platinum Member on Dec. 31, 2014 at 11:20 PM

I went through this with my 2nd child. What I did was slowly leave him. I would leave the room for a minute or two. Then come in hug him and say see mommy is back. You are fine. I must have done it a Bazillion times. Eventually he was OK. It takes lots of patience, hugs and comforting to get them through it.

Hugs I remember feeling crazy because of it.

by Sapphire Member on Dec. 31, 2014 at 11:27 PM

Welcome to CafeMom,
I like some suggestions the others have given you .. hope they work.
Nice to meet you :)

by Silver Member on Dec. 31, 2014 at 11:44 PM
1 mom liked this

My youngest had severe seperation anxiety as a baby. I couldn't leave her with anyone.. a nice quiet room and just rocking and cuddling helped a lot.. as did cosleeping.. car rides were a nightmare though!! lol.

If you HAVE to step away, put her in her crib, and walk away to take a 5 minute breather... get a stress ball, or something soothing or a pillow and just scream into it if you have to. 

And talk to your doctor again.. at times it could be an underlying medical problem.. could be teething.. could be just seperation anxiety.. but make sure you rule out the more serious issues first.. 

If it's seperation anxiety.. it DOES get better!!! When my youngest learned to start to furniture crawl and then walk, she gained a little more independance.. not a lot.. car rides were still helll and leaving her with someone still wasn't going to happen.. but if I were around, she calmed. I didn't have to hold her every second..

By 18 months we had car rides down.. and mommy got more freedom to get the basics done.. by 2.. the worst I had to deal with was her being shy around other adults, and night time she still liked her cuddles.. staying overnight elsewhere was still out, but I could have my mom watch her for a few hours by then.. by three, she still has her quirks, but she was good about it lol. 

Chores.. I made sure she was in the room with me that I was cleaning.. if I was doing dishes, I gave her a few to bang around.. if I was doing laundry, I'd pull out a wet washcloth from the freezer for her to chew on (helped with her teething and made her feel like she was helping in her own weird way, lol).. If I was vacuuming, I'd put her in her bouncer and do one side of the room at a time..

by ♥Char2theMaine♥ on Dec. 31, 2014 at 11:56 PM

I never went thr that so i cant give you any advice. But I'm with you i would go crazy if that was me. Hopfully things will work out for you.

by on Jan. 1, 2015 at 4:08 AM
Insecure attachment can be normal at such a young age. Help him feel secure first by responding to every need and not leaving him, build his confidence then slowly let him grow some independence.
by Gold Member on Jan. 1, 2015 at 8:02 AM
we had one child who seemed to be one raw nerve and I couldn't be out of his sight. In the car I had to have one hand on his foot or arm ( reaching behind to his car seat) thought I was going to have rotator cuff issues) In the house I wore him or moved his bouncy seat everywhere. When going to the laundry room in our basement I d put him in the empty basket on the way down and pack clean clothes around him on the way up till he could manage stairs . I felt like Id never want to be touched again because he was clingy. we also coslept and he like all his sibs nursed till they were about three. I t did get better but he was diagnosed with a social pragmatic learning disorder- at 16 he is a great kid good grades active in sports but still has some anxiety
by Member on Jan. 1, 2015 at 8:19 AM
Play a few rounds of peek a boo each day. It helps the concept of "even if I can't see mommy, she's still around" sink in.
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