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Aggressive Man....I shut down.Thi

Posted by on Jan. 14, 2015 at 3:07 PM
  • 31 Replies
1 mom liked this

Sorry this is so long.

I was at my son's wrestling practice. We have a pretty good club going so far this year. Everyone gets along, and everyone likes each other. So that leads up to what happened last night.

A guy that used to be a part of the club came back. His son is a national champion in wrestling and he's one of those "rough dads". He was making fun of his son, calling him fat and acting like he was going to punch them in the stomach. Then he was making fun of his son's haircut. Saying it was a "Beiber" haircut. So then he asked me if I like JB. I said no and he said his son said I do. (Which he didn't, I was sitting right next to him). When this man first walked in, he had told me to get up so he could sit there. I said no. So he sat next to me. 

Anyway, this man was so aggressive and made me shut down. I have PTSD, and I started having flashbacks. I called my husband (a coach) to come and talk to me for a second, and he told me to move my chair to the other side of the "dummy wrestler". 

Anyway, so this man gets up during the first year practice and starts trying to take over the class. This one child who is special needs started crying when he lost, and said he NEVER wins. He was broken hearted. So when he was crying this man tells him STOP CRYING, THERE IS NO CRYING IN WRESTLING. Very aggressively. I was scared! So the mama in my is on guard. To protect these kids. This man then PICKS UP this child by the armpits and tells him to stop. I look at the parents and they're just sitting there watching like it was no big deal! I asked our president who he was and she said he's "really important to the club, his son is a national champion". I got out of there ASAP. 

When my DH got home from coaching after practice, he told me that he talked to the head coach and told him this guy's behavior is unacceptable and that if he EVER speaks to our child like that, he will be having some words and it won't end pretty.


My problem is, I want to go watch my son wrestle, but now I'm afraid to see this man again.

by on Jan. 14, 2015 at 3:07 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Hottmomma607
by Trica on Jan. 14, 2015 at 4:06 PM
I can't imagine it must be hard? Is your PTSD from emotional abuse? Your son needs you there. Everyone is aware that this guy is unacceptable keeping pushing to have him banned or at least a talking to?
((Hugs))


Quoting Mama2ETA:

Sorry this is so long.

I was at my son's wrestling practice. We have a pretty good club going so far this year. Everyone gets along, and everyone likes each other. So that leads up to what happened last night.

A guy that used to be a part of the club came back. His son is a national champion in wrestling and he's one of those "rough dads". He was making fun of his son, calling him fat and acting like he was going to punch them in the stomach. Then he was making fun of his son's haircut. Saying it was a "Beiber" haircut. So then he asked me if I like JB. I said no and he said his son said I do. (Which he didn't, I was sitting right next to him). When this man first walked in, he had told me to get up so he could sit there. I said no. So he sat next to me. 

Anyway, this man was so aggressive and made me shut down. I have PTSD, and I started having flashbacks. I called my husband (a coach) to come and talk to me for a second, and he told me to move my chair to the other side of the "dummy wrestler". 

Anyway, so this man gets up during the first year practice and starts trying to take over the class. This one child who is special needs started crying when he lost, and said he NEVER wins. He was broken hearted. So when he was crying this man tells him STOP CRYING, THERE IS NO CRYING IN WRESTLING. Very aggressively. I was scared! So the mama in my is on guard. To protect these kids. This man then PICKS UP this child by the armpits and tells him to stop. I look at the parents and they're just sitting there watching like it was no big deal! I asked our president who he was and she said he's "really important to the club, his son is a national champion". I got out of there ASAP. 

When my DH got home from coaching after practice, he told me that he talked to the head coach and told him this guy's behavior is unacceptable and that if he EVER speaks to our child like that, he will be having some words and it won't end pretty.

My problem is, I want to go watch my son wrestle, but now I'm afraid to see this man again.

KimmyShaw
by Ruby Member on Jan. 14, 2015 at 4:15 PM
Can I ask why exactly are you scared of him? What do you think he will do to you? He's a bully which means he's a
Little bitch who has low self esteem and isn't worth the air he is breathing. Don't let him win by being intimidated by him. He acts that way because people don't stand up to him.
I can't believe he asked you to move! But glad you didn't give in!
Grrrr hate men like that...
Aayla
by on Jan. 14, 2015 at 4:30 PM

I understand! It's like suffocating, you can see it all happening around you, but you feel this odd pressure on your body like you can't move, and your mind is racing but refuses to connect to fight or flight and just freezes instead. Sometimes passion overrules it and then I am one to confront something like this - but once I've had my say, I'm shaking so hard I can barely stand up, and can hardly remember what I even said during the heat of the moment!

I'm betting had that man HIT that little boy, you would have unfrozen and been in his face. If you see him again, just avoid him. If he hassles you, excuse yourself to use the restroom, or just act busy - check your phone or occupy yourself talking to someone else near you.

It's outrageous that they allow that kind of behavior so they can all be name droppers

Mama2ETA
by Gold Member on Jan. 14, 2015 at 4:57 PM

Not emotional abuse, but being molested when I was a teen and then being raped as an adult.

Quoting Hottmomma607: I can imagine it must be hard? Is your PTSD from emotional abuse? Your son needs you there. Everyone is aware that this guy is unacceptable keeping pushing to have him banned or at least a talking to? ((Hugs))
Quoting Mama2ETA:

Sorry this is so long.

I was at my son's wrestling practice. We have a pretty good club going so far this year. Everyone gets along, and everyone likes each other. So that leads up to what happened last night.

A guy that used to be a part of the club came back. His son is a national champion in wrestling and he's one of those "rough dads". He was making fun of his son, calling him fat and acting like he was going to punch them in the stomach. Then he was making fun of his son's haircut. Saying it was a "Beiber" haircut. So then he asked me if I like JB. I said no and he said his son said I do. (Which he didn't, I was sitting right next to him). When this man first walked in, he had told me to get up so he could sit there. I said no. So he sat next to me. 

Anyway, this man was so aggressive and made me shut down. I have PTSD, and I started having flashbacks. I called my husband (a coach) to come and talk to me for a second, and he told me to move my chair to the other side of the "dummy wrestler". 

Anyway, so this man gets up during the first year practice and starts trying to take over the class. This one child who is special needs started crying when he lost, and said he NEVER wins. He was broken hearted. So when he was crying this man tells him STOP CRYING, THERE IS NO CRYING IN WRESTLING. Very aggressively. I was scared! So the mama in my is on guard. To protect these kids. This man then PICKS UP this child by the armpits and tells him to stop. I look at the parents and they're just sitting there watching like it was no big deal! I asked our president who he was and she said he's "really important to the club, his son is a national champion". I got out of there ASAP. 

When my DH got home from coaching after practice, he told me that he talked to the head coach and told him this guy's behavior is unacceptable and that if he EVER speaks to our child like that, he will be having some words and it won't end pretty.


My problem is, I want to go watch my son wrestle, but now I'm afraid to see this man again.


Mama2ETA
by Gold Member on Jan. 14, 2015 at 4:59 PM

Umm....I was scared of him because he was aggressive and I don't know what he's capable of? I'm obviously going to freak out with my flashbacks.....Good to know people are so understanding :)

Quoting KimmyShaw: Can I ask why exactly are you scared of him? What do you think he will do to you? He's a bully which means he's a Little bitch who has low self esteem and isn't worth the air he is breathing. Don't let him win by being intimidated by him. He acts that way because people don't stand up to him. I can't believe he asked you to move! But glad you didn't give in! Grrrr hate men like that...


Mama2ETA
by Gold Member on Jan. 14, 2015 at 5:06 PM

You described  it to a T. When I saw him pick up the child I was about to POUNCE! I told my husband to watch him and I left.

Quoting Aayla:

I understand! It's like suffocating, you can see it all happening around you, but you feel this odd pressure on your body like you can't move, and your mind is racing but refuses to connect to fight or flight and just freezes instead. Sometimes passion overrules it and then I am one to confront something like this - but once I've had my say, I'm shaking so hard I can barely stand up, and can hardly remember what I even said during the heat of the moment!I'm betting had that man HIT that little boy, you would have unfrozen and been in his face. If you see him again, just avoid him. If he hassles you, excuse yourself to use the restroom, or just act busy - check your phone or occupy yourself talking to someone else near you.It's outrageous that they allow that kind of behavior so they can all be name droppers


KimmyShaw
by Ruby Member on Jan. 14, 2015 at 5:12 PM
I dont know anything about you or your flashbacks, it's not obvious to me why you would freak out. You did handle yourself well regardless.

Quoting Mama2ETA:

Umm....I was scared of him because he was aggressive and I don't know what he's capable of? I'm obviously going to freak out with my flashbacks.....Good to know people are so understanding :)

Quoting KimmyShaw: Can I ask why exactly are you scared of him? What do you think he will do to you? He's a bully which means he's a
Little bitch who has low self esteem and isn't worth the air he is breathing. Don't let him win by being intimidated by him. He acts that way because people don't stand up to him.
I can't believe he asked you to move! But glad you didn't give in!
Grrrr hate men like that...

Mama2ETA
by Gold Member on Jan. 14, 2015 at 5:15 PM

I clearly stated I have PTSD and I started having flashbacks in the post.

Quoting KimmyShaw: I dont know anything about you or your flashbacks, it's not obvious to me why you would freak out. You did handle yourself well regardless.
Quoting Mama2ETA:

Umm....I was scared of him because he was aggressive and I don't know what he's capable of? I'm obviously going to freak out with my flashbacks.....Good to know people are so understanding :)

Quoting KimmyShaw: Can I ask why exactly are you scared of him? What do you think he will do to you? He's a bully which means he's a Little bitch who has low self esteem and isn't worth the air he is breathing. Don't let him win by being intimidated by him. He acts that way because people don't stand up to him. I can't believe he asked you to move! But glad you didn't give in! Grrrr hate men like that...


KimmyShaw
by Ruby Member on Jan. 14, 2015 at 5:25 PM
Wow, take a deep breath, no need to get so damn defensive. who cares what you wrote, I was trying to talk it out with you and see where you were coming from.

Quoting Mama2ETA:

I clearly stated I have PTSD and I started having flashbacks in the post.

Quoting KimmyShaw: I dont know anything about you or your flashbacks, it's not obvious to me why you would freak out. You did handle yourself well regardless.

Quoting Mama2ETA:

Umm....I was scared of him because he was aggressive and I don't know what he's capable of? I'm obviously going to freak out with my flashbacks.....Good to know people are so understanding :)

Quoting KimmyShaw: Can I ask why exactly are you scared of him? What do you think he will do to you? He's a bully which means he's a
Little bitch who has low self esteem and isn't worth the air he is breathing. Don't let him win by being intimidated by him. He acts that way because people don't stand up to him.
I can't believe he asked you to move! But glad you didn't give in!
Grrrr hate men like that...

FarscapeMama
by Member on Jan. 14, 2015 at 5:27 PM
I hate schools that allow parents like that douchebag to attend functions. Especially if they do anything to harm or intimidate any child but their own. If it were a better school less concerned about their sports ranks and more focused on the kids, he would have been escorted out.

shame on those parents who all sat by and did nothing while this adult man terrorized a special needs child.
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