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HELP!!! Grandparents over stepped bounds

Posted by on Jan. 31, 2016 at 11:35 AM
  • 17 Replies
For starters, my family and my mother all live in the same home...
So my 8 year old daughter lost two teeth, she got in trouble the day she brought them home from school and I didn't let her put them under her pillow...
The following day she was told her to put them under her pillow and Her dad was supposed to put money under her pillow that night (i wasn't feeling well and passed out dead to the world like at 8 pm)....
well he forgot....ok our bad....so last night he put two dollars under her pillow (we typically do a buck a tooth)....So mom sneeks in her room and leaves another 10 dollars!!!! So she got 12 bucks for two teeth! Now I'm thinking when she looses more teeth she's going to expect more money...and my son too....
I mentioned something to her about it as soon ad I knew And her replie was "so what, get mad at me, I don't care...."
We told my daughter the night that she put them under her pillow (and dad forgot about it) that the tooth fairy probably wasn't expecting two teeth and couldn't carry them by her self so she probably had to go get help....she was completely fine w it...wasn't upset in the least bit..
AND we leave the money on her bed side table because she is such a light sleeper...so we left two dollars on her hes side table and then my mom crammed the two five dollar bills under her pillow...so that's going to confuse her...and it did....
I even told my mom...now when she looses another tooth she will expect more money...she goes "well I didn't want to see her disappointed another day"...well first of all...she was NEVER disappointed...not once....she said it almost like she was trying to punish US as parents because I didn't let get put it under her pillow the first day and then we forgot the next...Like I feel like I need to sit my mother down and have a talk w her about how she over stepped her bounds by doing that but I hate to start a fight w her and I know she won't be rational about it....she even told me how she told her friend at work how I didn't let my daughter put it under her pillow The 1st night like I'm in the wrong and a bad parent....
Ok, so she might not have done things like that when I was a kid. but I'm the parent and that's what I did....how would she have felt if her mom did something like that to her when she was raising me...And then she said...she just lost 2 teeth....how many more could she have to loose...this isn't the first time she's over stepped her bounds ..but it's the first time that I feel overstepped enough that it bothers me and pissed me off
by on Jan. 31, 2016 at 11:35 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Gabeys_Mommy
by Silver Member on Jan. 31, 2016 at 11:38 AM
She did overstep but I don't think it would be that big of a deal.

It seems to me like maybe she makes a habit of overstepping & it's getting to you?
CoffeeKrazed
by on Jan. 31, 2016 at 11:38 AM
If I were letting her live with me, I might be upset. If she doesn't respond well when you correct her overstepping in general, I'd have to find a new living arrangement.
Lacollin
by New Member on Jan. 31, 2016 at 11:44 AM
She does over step a lot...but it has NEVER bothered me...however this time was very very different...it's like she's doing it to punish me for not letting her put it under her pillow the first night...
My daughter already has some behavior issues and sees a behavioral therapist for it,..one of the mtnhods we have to use on her is NOT allowing any rewards for bad behavior, hence the not putting the tooth under her pillow the first night...and I have another kid to worry about as well...they are both the type now that are going to expect 12 bucks every time they loose a tooth because the "game has been upped"if you will.... We typically do a dollar at a time...not 12.... And this was something that she shouldn't have involved herself in at all. Now she is first of all confused as to why the money was left in two places (under pillow and bed side table) and rubbing it in her brothers face... And I don't like the fact she's bad mouthing my parenting style to get co workers.... I parent how I parent...now how she parents...
valkay
by Silver Member on Jan. 31, 2016 at 12:07 PM
3 moms liked this
Just tell the kid the tooth fairy gave a one time bonus because she made her wait. That will solve that problem
Lacollin
by New Member on Jan. 31, 2016 at 12:14 PM
Yes, that would fix the issue of the confused child.....but still not site how to handle the problem w the grandparent

Quoting valkay: Just tell the kid the tooth fairy gave a one time bonus because she made her wait. That will solve that problem
Ryansmom2004
by on Jan. 31, 2016 at 1:06 PM
Were these the first teeth she lost? We have a "tooth fairy" jar and when our son lost his first tooth I put $5 in and my husband didn't look and he put another $5 in. I told my son that was only for the first tooth and future teeth depended on the condition. If there were no cavities he would get $5 but if he didn't brush his teeth and they had cavities he would only get $1. It was an incentive for him to brush his teeth.
glynch
by Member on Jan. 31, 2016 at 1:12 PM

I would be honest and tell her grandmother put the $10 under her pillow.

Hottmomma607
by Trica on Jan. 31, 2016 at 1:33 PM
First I don't know how you can live with your mom? My stress level would be through the roof! LOL Funny thing I rather live with my mom-in-law any day but hubby's stress levels would be up. lol
((hugs)) Sorry you're having trouble with your mom. Just stand your ground and be respectful, she's still your mom. Just tell her thanks but I have it under control.
My mom would do things like have her friends call me or tell me advice given by her friends, she thought it would get better results? Failing to acknowledge I'm adult with a child I can handle it.


Quoting Lacollin: She does over step a lot...but it has NEVER bothered me...however this time was very very different...it's like she's doing it to punish me for not letting her put it under her pillow the first night...
My daughter already has some behavior issues and sees a behavioral therapist for it,..one of the mtnhods we have to use on her is NOT allowing any rewards for bad behavior, hence the not putting the tooth under her pillow the first night...and I have another kid to worry about as well...they are both the type now that are going to expect 12 bucks every time they loose a tooth because the "game has been upped"if you will.... We typically do a dollar at a time...not 12.... And this was something that she shouldn't have involved herself in at all. Now she is first of all confused as to why the money was left in two places (under pillow and bed side table) and rubbing it in her brothers face... And I don't like the fact she's bad mouthing my parenting style to get co workers.... I parent how I parent...now how she parents...
Lacollin
by New Member on Jan. 31, 2016 at 1:35 PM
No, not the first teeth..she's almost 9 so she's had her fair share of lost teeth and it's always been a dollar a tooth except the first time, the tooth fairy brought her a dollar, a new piggy bank for her money and a new toothbrush....we did the same thing for my son when he lost his first tooth also...he's 5, so we still have many teeth for him to loose and can't afford 12 bucks per tooth.

Quoting Ryansmom2004: Were these the first teeth she lost? We have a "tooth fairy" jar and when our son lost his first tooth I put $5 in and my husband didn't look and he put another $5 in. I told my son that was only for the first tooth and future teeth depended on the condition. If there were no cavities he would get $5 but if he didn't brush his teeth and they had cavities he would only get $1. It was an incentive for him to brush his teeth.
Ms_Smock
by Member on Jan. 31, 2016 at 1:35 PM
Using the tooth fairy as a punishment seems like bad parenting to me
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