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PostPartum ; losing custody- my story

Posted by on Mar. 22, 2016 at 1:17 AM
  • 24 Replies
So i was a young mother, i had my oldest son at the age of 17. He was my entire world. I knew that having a baby so young would be a challenge but he was a blessing. Someone that no matter what i could love forever and who would always love me. Well once my son jade turned two yrs old along came his younger brother bentley james, I was depressed my whole pregnancy but didnt think too deeply into it i thought maybe it was just me being emotional from all the hormones so i brushed it off as just that... After bentley was born i knew something wasn't right i didn't feel like he was mine i mean i took care of him fed him bathed him changed him etc. But i didn't feel the same connection i did with him as i did with his brother i knew something was wrong. I made a dr app with my obgyn who proceeded to tell me that he didn't believe in post partum. And that it would pass and if i were depressed that i needed to go see a councillor. I was only 19 so i did what the dr told me i made an appointment with the counselling center in my town. But before i made it to my appointment i completely had a mental break down. I checked myself into the hospital. I felt like "God was talking to me" telling me to do things. I never hurt anyone never even had an evil thought i just felt strange, very strange and i knew something was wrong. Apparently where I'm from needing and seeking help is frowned upon. After checking in the hospital the long battle started. Cps came and talked to me by this time i was completely gone from reality. They had me sign papers that stated i was signing care of the children over to be In the care of their grandma while i was In the hospital i signed the papers but did not sign my legal name i was so out of touch with reality that i signed my oldest sons fathers last name bc i thought we were married mind u i hadnt talked to that man since a few months after my oldest son was born (the boys have dfferent dads) apparently that didnt matter my attorney told me that there was nothing that could be done. . And that the kids would come home after i was released.... Well long story short. Its been 6 yrs my children are now adopted by their paternal grandmothers. I did everything that wsd asked by the courts. Parenting classes drug tests counseling etc. But no matter what i did i wasnt good enough to have my babies. It has destroyed me as a person. I have felt like a failure at life for the past 6 yrs. But now i am starting to realize that it isn't me its the system. Its broken... They would rather return children to the mothers that most likely will mess up again the mothers who have drug issues and other serious cases.... But that is neither here nor there. I am not even allowed to see my children i sometimes feel like im noy even a mother. There have been times that i had contemplated just giving up. But then i realize u have to tell yourself there is a reason for everything.... Life doesnt always go the way u intend for it to. And thats ok. It's ok to be upset that u dont have the chance to be the mother you wanted to be, but it is not okay to stop living your life... You have to tell yourself you are okay. You have to remind yourself that this doesn't determine the type of person you are. I know its hard because there are a lot of negative connotations with mothers who lose custody. But ladies it isn't over. You find something to smile about. And you make a way to be the best version of yourself that u can. Because one day those children will be adults and it is never too late to be a mother.
by on Mar. 22, 2016 at 1:17 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mrswillie
by Ruby Member on Mar. 22, 2016 at 8:52 AM
1 mom liked this
Thanks for sharing.
ablackdolphin
by Gold Member on Mar. 22, 2016 at 9:03 AM
1 mom liked this
that is a lot to go through.
PISCIS29
by Bronze Member on Mar. 22, 2016 at 10:22 AM
1 mom liked this
Omg. I just wanna embrace you and hold you so tight right now.
hugss
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by Sapphire Member on Mar. 22, 2016 at 10:34 AM

Hugs to you :)

Jukebox_Jenny
by on Mar. 22, 2016 at 12:09 PM
Yikes
mama2b100808
by Silver Member on Mar. 22, 2016 at 1:46 PM

Thank you sharing. Hugs to you!! 

blessed107
by Ruby Member on Mar. 22, 2016 at 1:53 PM
1 mom liked this
That's a lot to have gone through.
hotspice58
by on Mar. 22, 2016 at 1:56 PM

There is no reason why you can't see your kids.  Go to court and ask for supervised visitation; this way they'll know you and know that you didn't abandon them.

la_bella_vita
by on Mar. 22, 2016 at 2:15 PM
1 mom liked this

I don't even know what to say 

((Hugs))

mnmo3bb
by on Mar. 22, 2016 at 2:26 PM

*HUGS* I am really sorry!

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