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My fiance cheated and im pregnant and alone

Posted by on May. 30, 2016 at 2:15 AM
  • 28 Replies
I just wrote a long message about my whole situation and it didn't even post so ill do a summary. Im 7 months pregnant and I was with the mind who I thought was the love of my life and my everything. He showed me love on so many levels and treated me like a queen. He took care of me financially while I am unable to work. Everything was perfect until I picked up his phone instead of mine since we had the same phone, and I found a bunch of sexual and flirt messages to another girl. I addressed him about it and he tried to deny it. Then he started down playing it telling me it was just messages. We argued about it for nearly 2 weeks and after many what seemed to be pointless conversations, he sat me down and apologized and told me he just enjoyed the attention and never meant to hurt me. I forced myself to let it go to the best of my ability for the sake of our relationship and I convinced myself nothing happened and it was just a small thing. Since that happened I never stopped being insecure and paranoid...especially since he never showed any sign of cheating and we spent so much time together and got along so well. I felt like we told each other everything....

Since then he started being gone more. He works 12 hours a day so he is already gone all the time. But he used to come straight home and spend time with me and on the weekends we spent the whole day together. Recently he would come home later than usually on work days and on days off he went to "hang out" and stayed gone for hours until early morning. I had nightmares. I woke up crying many days, and when I told him what was wrong he got mad and said I keep holding his one mistake against him and that he would never do it again so I need to stop being paranoid.

So I tried to work on it. And I was until Friday when he decided to hang out and was gone to 3 am. While he was gone my mind was racing and my gut was going off the charts telling me something wasn't right. So I started searching and my search led me to his Instagram which he told me he deleted....it was soo much worse than I thought. I found messages to a girl I later found out was his ex and he was telling her how much he loved her and cared about her. The made plans to meet up with her. He had been talking to her since February. I needed more information of i contacted the girl. She didn't take long to get back to me and what I thought was bad got even worse. She told me that he was with her last Monday and they had unprotected sex and he ejaculated in her. She told me they dated before I met him and that she knew nothing about me. I knew she wasn't lying because she described to me everything he was wearing that day....and I met up with him later that evening and he has on exactly what she said. She sent me screenshots of all their recent text messages... She wanted me to call her when he came home so we could both address him. He came in at 3am. I called her and started addressing him about everything she said. He denied everything saying she threw him under the bus because she wanted him and he said no. I asked him, even if the sex claim was false, what about all the messages? He wouldn't answer. This conversation went on for hours and his only response was you shouldn't have been looking through my stuff. So I ended up leaving the house. He gave me a generic sorry when I was leaving but all he really made effort to say was where is the key to the place. I had to give it to him since my name wasn't on the lease. So now I am sitting here with nowhere to go....I am at my bestfriends house who lives with her uncle. I can't stay here...I tried to contact him to see if I could come back and stay at least until the baby is born even if we don't have any contact emotionally. I can't get in contact with him. I even took my last 4 dollars to go to the house to see if he was homer so we could talk. He wasn't there. He isn't answering my calls. So I am out here homeless and pregnant and heartbroken. Everytine I feel my child move I start to cry because I know inhale nothing for him right now and I hate who his father is and what he did to me. After that conversation with his ex, I found out he lied about practically his whole life. I don't even know who I am in love with....and the worst part is that I am still in love with him....even after everything.... Please give me some advice, im going insane...
by on May. 30, 2016 at 2:15 AM
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Replies (1-10):
surprisemom147
by on May. 30, 2016 at 2:31 AM
2 moms liked this
You've been with him at least 8 months, you're in love with him, I get it. But he's nonstop lied to you recently if not the whole 8 months or longer, and he's not concerned about you and the baby if hes out all hours of the night and with another woman. He's not ready to be a father to your child. Leave him alone. Dont try to contact him until the baby is born and if hes not there for the birth then take him to court for child support. If you try to get him back it will onlybe a roller coaster ride, more games that you dont need. Youve hurt enough, get all your tears cried and be strong for your baby, quit wasting your time and energy on someone who has proven over and over he doesnt care. Good luck.
mommyecr3
by on May. 30, 2016 at 2:41 AM
4 moms liked this
Of course you can't help still loving him. No one will attack you for that. Can't change what you feel.
However, it's time to find some other means of living arrangements. When baby comes you must go to your local Legal Aid. They will help you get in touch with Friend of the Court which Wil insure a monetary paternal responsibility to you and your child.
You can't count on him, alone. You must seek help immediately.
I'm so sorry. But he is the loser. Will not change so don't expect it. Take control of your life NOW.
Best wishes.
Ashes0813
by Member on May. 30, 2016 at 2:43 AM
3 moms liked this
I'm sorry he lied to you and that the person you thought you loved doesn't exist. Keep your dignity, you don't want under his roof again. Let yourself get angry, you deserved better and he hurt you at your most vulnerable. He is scum. You can do this, focus on baby and yourself. He doesn't deserve anymore of your energy right now.
momofsixangels
by Ruby Member on May. 30, 2016 at 8:18 AM
2 moms liked this
I agree. He is a loser. Try getting help from churches and make sure you go after him for child support. Hugs

Quoting Ashes0813: I'm sorry he lied to you and that the person you thought you loved doesn't exist. Keep your dignity, you don't want under his roof again. Let yourself get angry, you deserved better and he hurt you at your most vulnerable. He is scum. You can do this, focus on baby and yourself. He doesn't deserve anymore of your energy right now.
virginiamama71
by Carrie on May. 30, 2016 at 8:31 AM

 Check in your area for homes for pregnant women.

LaniBee
by on May. 30, 2016 at 9:35 AM
1 mom liked this
Right now you need to take care of yourself and your baby. Find an organization, friend or family member that can help you. Focus your energy where it needs to be and everything will find its order in time.
hugss
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by Sapphire Member on May. 30, 2016 at 10:30 AM

Aww sorry to hear this happened,
Where is your family?  Hugs to you :)

Jukebox_Jenny
by on May. 30, 2016 at 1:26 PM
I'm sorry you have to deal with it, especially pregnant, but he's no good. Time to go.
momofnatalie
by on May. 30, 2016 at 2:32 PM

Tomorrow morning, go and apply for public assistance.  Ask them for any resources for shelters or places for pregnant moms.  I would see if you could possibly contact any family that may be able to offer you a temporary housing until you can get situated.  I would not go back to your ex's house.  I would go to legal aid to see what your options are. 

_Lynnsey_
by Bronze Member on May. 30, 2016 at 3:42 PM
Sounds like he was just waiting for you to find out so he could get rid of you. He already won't talk to you, so I'm guessing that he never actually cared about you. If he had loved you he wouldn't be able to just throw you(and your unborn baby) out on the street so easily. He's a bastard. I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this. Even though it doesn't seem like it now, you and the baby are better off without that cheating liar. Good luck.
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