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I am feeling humiliated over financial help from parents

Posted by on Sep. 7, 2016 at 5:47 PM
  • 20 Replies

I know we are lucky to have parents that are able to help us financially. However I am feeling so guilty about this at the moment and sad that I haven't made more of myself on the career front. I'm a stay at home mom to two small children and DH has a really well paid job but his pay check seems to be spent before it even arrives and we worry about money a lot (who doesn't I suppose) we live in a decent house but can't seem to afford to buy ourselves anything - clothes etc even the basic necessities. We had a really frugal summer with the kids and didn't go anywhere but it doesn't seem to have made any difference. My parents are divorced but both help us financially which we REALLY appreciate but it makes us feel worse! Just feeling guilty really and irresponsible for not being able to be self sustainable.

by on Sep. 7, 2016 at 5:47 PM
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Replies (1-10):
lucky2Beeme
by Platinum Member on Sep. 7, 2016 at 6:34 PM

If you feel so guilty why not get a job ?

Franny76
by Member on Sep. 7, 2016 at 6:37 PM
I've had to when my kids where younger. It happens.
bluebunnybabe
by Bronze Member on Sep. 7, 2016 at 6:39 PM
If he has a well paying job & you don't know where the money goes, have you considered doing a budget to see?
cleokitty14
by Bronze Member on Sep. 7, 2016 at 6:51 PM
1 mom liked this

I agree with this; obivously somewhere you are doing something wrong. You really need to sit down & go through every thing you spend & where you money is going.

Quoting bluebunnybabe: If he has a well paying job & you don't know where the money goes, have you considered doing a budget to see?


Lemon-Party
by on Sep. 7, 2016 at 6:54 PM
There are 3 ways this story can actually go...
1) My husband really doesn't make THAT much money
2) we live outside our means
3) I need to get off my ass and get a job
ayacocca
by Bronze Member on Sep. 7, 2016 at 8:11 PM
I was going to ask this as well: have you considered working? It is difficult to support a family of 4 on one paycheck; I make a decent amount of money, but I'm also a single parent to 3. The 4 of us on one dime is tight as hell; even if I had someone to at least work part time in the household it would lift some of the burden.
firespurity
by on Sep. 7, 2016 at 8:14 PM
Have you accounted for where your money goes?? Doing it for at least 3 months gives you a good idea of where you may be able to cut expenses.
cookiemonster77
by on Sep. 7, 2016 at 8:32 PM

I'd love to take a look at your finances. If I had to guess your mortgage payments and car payments are too high for what your husband makes. You probably don't pay off your credit card every month either, do you? If you haven't actually written down your monthly bills, at least the ones that are fairly standard- cell phone, cable, gas/electric, insurance (car,house,life,medical), then do that and tell us what you have left over to work with for food and extras. 

Hottmomma607
by Trica on Sep. 7, 2016 at 8:38 PM
You tried budgeting?
Theresa1209
by Member on Sep. 7, 2016 at 8:41 PM
Get a job opposite your husband. Even if its just part time. Baby sit kids in your home.
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