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stepdaughter still asks us for rides on her Mom's day to have her

Posted by on Oct. 22, 2016 at 4:57 PM
  • 12 Replies
I have a 16 step daughter who continues to ask us for rides places and pick ups on the opposite weekend we have her meaning her Mom's weekend. She claims her mom Bartends on Sunday at 1pm yet asks us for a ride 10am. I have voiced to my husband why isn't her Mother held accountable. In the past he has said things to her and gotten no where. He claims he can't force her to be a parent. Yet the court can in my eyes. He says no point of doing court his daughter is 16 and will want to stay at her Mom's every other wknd. She has a loyalty to her I see that. However, at what point does she be held accountable?? I guess the Mom agreeing to pay 150$ to soccer fee for the 1600$ season is enough where hubby doesn't want to ruffle feathers.. I've had it.
by on Oct. 22, 2016 at 4:57 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Bmat
by Emerald Member on Oct. 22, 2016 at 9:01 PM
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I understand your frustration with her bio mom. 

I feel sad for the child, though. She is caught between her mom who isn't seeing to this particular need, and calling you all. It would be a kindness to the child to not argue or act put out when she calls. Drive her with a smile and willingly. It is you she'll remember as helping her out.

ablackdolphin
by Gold Member on Oct. 24, 2016 at 12:27 PM
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Do you get involved and does it interrupt your time?  Meaning, does DH pick her up or do you sometimes have to do it?  I would refuse.  The 16 yr old will just have to badger her mom and or see her in a new light and refuse to go to the mom's because the mom doesn't pick her up when needed.

othermom
by Ruby Member on Oct. 24, 2016 at 12:33 PM

Do you guys live in the same town? If you do and have time I would drive her occasionally.  Can she walk places, is she close to getting her permit or license to drive herself?

TigerofMu
by on Oct. 24, 2016 at 12:39 PM
1 mom liked this

Are these places she needs to go, or is she asking to go to a friend's or somewher else?  I would make sure she gets where she needs to be, but she needs to ask her mom if she just wants to go hang out with her friends.

Hannahsmommy816
by on Oct. 24, 2016 at 12:39 PM

oh geez i'm sorry, :(  a few more years, hope they go fast

MonarchMom22
by on Oct. 24, 2016 at 12:44 PM
1 mom liked this

Personally, I made it a priority to always be available to give rides during the teen years.  I didn't want them getting rides from other teenagers, parents I didn't know, or someone who might forget or be late.  The time passes pretty quick, and it was important to me that the kids know they can always call and I will come for them. 

If the family wasn't divided this teen would be most likely be getting rides as needed.  This isn't a problem she created, so it is pretty unfair that she has to solve it.  Who cares what weekend it is?  She is part of the familly and needs a ride.  At least she is coming to family instead of hoppin in the car with someone you might not approve of.

egyptian_mommy
by Platinum Member on Oct. 24, 2016 at 2:07 PM
1 mom liked this
I agree.

Quoting TigerofMu:

Are these places she needs to go, or is she asking to go to a friend's or somewher else?  I would make sure she gets where she needs to be, but she needs to ask her mom if she just wants to go hang out with her friends.

goddess99
by Michelle on Oct. 24, 2016 at 2:16 PM
The courts can't force anyone to be a parent either. Let your dh deal with it.
mrswillie
by Ruby Member on Oct. 24, 2016 at 2:31 PM
Unfortunately, if the bio mom is slacking, the daughter shouldn't be the one facing the consequences. Both of them decided to lay down and make a child. The daughter didn't ask to be born.

And I will agree with your husband, she's 16 years old, by the time this mess gets through court again she'll be almost 18 and it would have been a waste of your time, energy and aggravation.
MarchMamaBear
by Member on Oct. 24, 2016 at 2:51 PM

It takes a village. I would help her out unless she's being ungrateful.

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