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Do you think this is right??

Posted by on Sep. 23, 2017 at 7:16 PM
  • 8 Replies
Ok I know this is going to be very unpopular and so I'm hoping that when you are reading this that you are able to get what I'm saying and not just go off of first impressions. Take your first impression and then actually go back and read again if you need to and take a second to see what I'm saying.

Ok I have never had miscarriage OR a stillborn. I will NEVER claim to know what it's like. As a woman who's had children I can certainly imagine but again to actually know first hand is way different.
So that being said. We have a "couples" friends who unfortunately experienced a stillborn a few years back after going through an entire pregnancy😔. This year they celebrated the bday of their child, whom they refer to as a rainbow baby. They had a rainbow cake and all that.
Here's my question and thought. Is it fair to assign that kind of history to a child's bday?? I'm not saying to forget about what happened but the child that was born after doesn't know anything about that and is it fair to assign that kind of sadness to their Birthday every year?
by on Sep. 23, 2017 at 7:16 PM
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Replies (1-8):
virginiamama71
by Carrie on Sep. 23, 2017 at 7:28 PM
I think it helps some people deal with a loss.
themightymrs.C
by Member on Sep. 23, 2017 at 7:31 PM
Bump
lucky2Beeme
by Platinum Member on Sep. 23, 2017 at 7:35 PM

Its not something  I would do. I don't think its fair to the living child to have his birth marked by his siblings death. Hopefully its only this year. Once that child gets older it could really screw him up having that put on him. 

momofthem311
by Member on Sep. 23, 2017 at 7:38 PM
I had that thought as well, that maybe they are just doing it for this first year. In that case the child wouldn't know any different.

Quoting lucky2Beeme:

Its not something  I would do. I don't think its fair to the living child to have his birth marked by his siblings death. Hopefully its only this year. Once that child gets older it could really screw him up having that put on him. 

hugss
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by Sapphire Member on Sep. 23, 2017 at 7:40 PM

I agree with this :)

Quoting lucky2Beeme:

Its not something  I would do. I don't think its fair to the living child to have his birth marked by his siblings death. Hopefully its only this year. Once that child gets older it could really screw him up having that put on him. 


amonkeymom
by Platinum Member on Sep. 25, 2017 at 8:54 PM

It's not something I've done. I lost my 3rd pregnancy on my daughter's second birthday and then had another child a year and a half later. Her birthday was a bittersweet day for me for a few years, but now I'm able to celebrate her without thinking as much about the baby that was lost. I don't ever want her or my younger son to feel less than or unwanted because of another child that was lost to us.

OctoberReign
by Member on Sep. 25, 2017 at 10:56 PM
I agree that it’s not fair to put that on the child. If they want to do something like that EVERY year then I think they should do it for the lost child, on their birth date. Hopefully they just did it this one time.
Hottmomma607
by Trica on Sep. 26, 2017 at 9:35 AM
1 mom liked this
Not sure somethingI would do? But if it helps? Also they should be celebrating this baby. I did have a miscarriage before my last two kids. It hurts but I'm thankful for the kids I have and mourned the loss of my baby.
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