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Monday Vent Session

Posted by on Oct. 16, 2017 at 8:53 PM
  • 10 Replies
So I’ve been posting here for a few weeks now (less now than when I started cause of having to work ALOT but anyway...) still have a lot of anger toward my husband for what he did and now add to the frustration, my 20yr old step son has decided he would move in since he’s working over by his dads house now. My husband didn’t say a word to me about it he just showed up and stayed. This kid has caused nothing but trouble from day one. He has stolen my wedding rings (my TIFFANY ENGAGEMENT RING) and pawned them a few years back, my husband told me I LOST them (even though we had video footage of him reaching up where I put them and took them and walked out the door and then all a sudden had 200.00 for fireworks when he had no job) my husband and I have not slept in the same room for a long time (cause I SNORE and I’m a nice person due to the fact that husband has to get up earlier than I do) and I’ve been sleeping in the spare bedroom, well now I’ve been booted to the couch. He just came in and basically just took over.. again... like he always has... he has zero respect for authority, his mom is Mexican so since no one on her side of the family has a drivers license so there’s no need for him to get one, he didn’t graduate cause they don’t in Mexico... he comes over and drives our cars, eats our food, expects ME to do his laundry, and comes home from his job, goes straight to MY BED and dosent lift a finger... if I try to stand my ground against him, I again get called selfish and that I need to grow up and his dad tells him that I’ve never liked him (always the answer for when i try to stick up for myself)
You would think that my husband would see a pattern because whenever step son comes back around our 10yr old daughter gets a huge attitude and dosent see him lifting a finger and so she thinks it’s ok but it’s never him, it’s always me. This time I’m making a decision for ME, im not going to put up with it any longer. I have a house my parents left to me (thank God I didn’t sell it) my niece has been renting it but her yearly lease is up and I’m seriously thinking about giving her the 30 day notice and move back in. It’s completely paid for and I people I work with have offered their time and talents and said if I need anything fixed they will gladly help out with whatever I need. I guess I just need to get off my rear and put some actions behind my words. It’s just SO HARD! I never thought I would be put in this position.... Thanks again for listening y’all 😊
by on Oct. 16, 2017 at 8:53 PM
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by Sapphire Member on Oct. 16, 2017 at 10:16 PM

Aww so sorry you are having to go through w/ this,
Sounds like your DH won't stand up to his son :(
Guess you need to make it clear to your dh to choose between the two of you.
His son is old enough to be on his own ..
Hugs to you & best of luck :)

Quoting Wynniebear: So I’ve been posting here for a few weeks now (less now than when I started cause of having to work ALOT but anyway...) still have a lot of anger toward my husband for what he did and now add to the frustration, my 20yr old step son has decided he would move in since he’s working over by his dads house now. My husband didn’t say a word to me about it he just showed up and stayed. This kid has caused nothing but trouble from day one. He has stolen my wedding rings (my TIFFANY ENGAGEMENT RING) and pawned them a few years back, my husband told me I LOST them (even though we had video footage of him reaching up where I put them and took them and walked out the door and then all a sudden had 200.00 for fireworks when he had no job) my husband and I have not slept in the same room for a long time (cause I SNORE and I’m a nice person due to the fact that husband has to get up earlier than I do) and I’ve been sleeping in the spare bedroom, well now I’ve been booted to the couch. He just came in and basically just took over.. again... like he always has... he has zero respect for authority, his mom is Mexican so since no one on her side of the family has a drivers license so there’s no need for him to get one, he didn’t graduate cause they don’t in Mexico... he comes over and drives our cars, eats our food, expects ME to do his laundry, and comes home from his job, goes straight to MY BED and dosent lift a finger... if I try to stand my ground against him, I again get called selfish and that I need to grow up and his dad tells him that I’ve never liked him (always the answer for when i try to stick up for myself) You would think that my husband would see a pattern because whenever step son comes back around our 10yr old daughter gets a huge attitude and dosent see him lifting a finger and so she thinks it’s ok but it’s never him, it’s always me. This time I’m making a decision for ME, im not going to put up with it any longer. I have a house my parents left to me (thank God I didn’t sell it) my niece has been renting it but her yearly lease is up and I’m seriously thinking about giving her the 30 day notice and move back in. It’s completely paid for and I people I work with have offered their time and talents and said if I need anything fixed they will gladly help out with whatever I need. I guess I just need to get off my rear and put some actions behind my words. It’s just SO HARD! I never thought I would be put in this position.... Thanks again for listening y’all 😊


Bmat
by Emerald Member on Oct. 16, 2017 at 11:18 PM
1 mom liked this

It does sound like a bad situation. You and your husband should be on the same page as far as the kids are concerned. Couples counseling, maybe?

Hottmomma607
by Trica on Oct. 17, 2017 at 9:58 AM
((hugs))
Sounds like a lot going on, how long have you two been married? There is no way my hubby & I can sleep apart. Snoring and all.
He certainly wouldn't have me sleeping on a couch in my own home. I agree with Bmat you two need to be on the same page as far as kid go. You're two are team.


Quoting Wynniebear: So I’ve been posting here for a few weeks now (less now than when I started cause of having to work ALOT but anyway...) still have a lot of anger toward my husband for what he did and now add to the frustration, my 20yr old step son has decided he would move in since he’s working over by his dads house now. My husband didn’t say a word to me about it he just showed up and stayed. This kid has caused nothing but trouble from day one. He has stolen my wedding rings (my TIFFANY ENGAGEMENT RING) and pawned them a few years back, my husband told me I LOST them (even though we had video footage of him reaching up where I put them and took them and walked out the door and then all a sudden had 200.00 for fireworks when he had no job) my husband and I have not slept in the same room for a long time (cause I SNORE and I’m a nice person due to the fact that husband has to get up earlier than I do) and I’ve been sleeping in the spare bedroom, well now I’ve been booted to the couch. He just came in and basically just took over.. again... like he always has... he has zero respect for authority, his mom is Mexican so since no one on her side of the family has a drivers license so there’s no need for him to get one, he didn’t graduate cause they don’t in Mexico... he comes over and drives our cars, eats our food, expects ME to do his laundry, and comes home from his job, goes straight to MY BED and dosent lift a finger... if I try to stand my ground against him, I again get called selfish and that I need to grow up and his dad tells him that I’ve never liked him (always the answer for when i try to stick up for myself)
You would think that my husband would see a pattern because whenever step son comes back around our 10yr old daughter gets a huge attitude and dosent see him lifting a finger and so she thinks it’s ok but it’s never him, it’s always me. This time I’m making a decision for ME, im not going to put up with it any longer. I have a house my parents left to me (thank God I didn’t sell it) my niece has been renting it but her yearly lease is up and I’m seriously thinking about giving her the 30 day notice and move back in. It’s completely paid for and I people I work with have offered their time and talents and said if I need anything fixed they will gladly help out with whatever I need. I guess I just need to get off my rear and put some actions behind my words. It’s just SO HARD! I never thought I would be put in this position.... Thanks again for listening y’all 😊
Wynniebear
by Member on Oct. 17, 2017 at 10:17 AM
We have been married for 10yrs. It’s really wierd but when friends of mine talk about their husbands and how happy they are I can honestly say I have never felt that happiness. Even looking back at our wedding photos, they look more like mug shots as bad as that sounds

Quoting Hottmomma607: ((hugs))
Sounds like a lot going on, how long have you two been married? There is no way my hubby & I can sleep apart. Snoring and all.
He certainly wouldn't have me sleeping on a couch in my own home. I agree with Bmat you two need to be on the same page as far as kid go. You're two are team.


Quoting Wynniebear: So I’ve been posting here for a few weeks now (less now than when I started cause of having to work ALOT but anyway...) still have a lot of anger toward my husband for what he did and now add to the frustration, my 20yr old step son has decided he would move in since he’s working over by his dads house now. My husband didn’t say a word to me about it he just showed up and stayed. This kid has caused nothing but trouble from day one. He has stolen my wedding rings (my TIFFANY ENGAGEMENT RING) and pawned them a few years back, my husband told me I LOST them (even though we had video footage of him reaching up where I put them and took them and walked out the door and then all a sudden had 200.00 for fireworks when he had no job) my husband and I have not slept in the same room for a long time (cause I SNORE and I’m a nice person due to the fact that husband has to get up earlier than I do) and I’ve been sleeping in the spare bedroom, well now I’ve been booted to the couch. He just came in and basically just took over.. again... like he always has... he has zero respect for authority, his mom is Mexican so since no one on her side of the family has a drivers license so there’s no need for him to get one, he didn’t graduate cause they don’t in Mexico... he comes over and drives our cars, eats our food, expects ME to do his laundry, and comes home from his job, goes straight to MY BED and dosent lift a finger... if I try to stand my ground against him, I again get called selfish and that I need to grow up and his dad tells him that I’ve never liked him (always the answer for when i try to stick up for myself)
You would think that my husband would see a pattern because whenever step son comes back around our 10yr old daughter gets a huge attitude and dosent see him lifting a finger and so she thinks it’s ok but it’s never him, it’s always me. This time I’m making a decision for ME, im not going to put up with it any longer. I have a house my parents left to me (thank God I didn’t sell it) my niece has been renting it but her yearly lease is up and I’m seriously thinking about giving her the 30 day notice and move back in. It’s completely paid for and I people I work with have offered their time and talents and said if I need anything fixed they will gladly help out with whatever I need. I guess I just need to get off my rear and put some actions behind my words. It’s just SO HARD! I never thought I would be put in this position.... Thanks again for listening y’all 😊
piecebypeace
by New Member on Oct. 17, 2017 at 3:45 PM
1 mom liked this

Wow...what a terribly difficult situation. There are MAJOR boundaries issues going on here with your stepson, husband, etc. Before you just move out (although I understand the temptation), I would go see a counselor and talk about how to set healthy boundaries in your house. Read "Boundaries" by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend http://bit.ly/2dm0y10. You will learn a ton about these very issues you are having and how to handle them without necessarily moving out. Praying for a good outcome!!!!

amonkeymom
by Platinum Member on Oct. 17, 2017 at 7:30 PM

I'm so sorry, but I'm glad you have a plan. It may be just the thing to open your hubby's eyes and/or make yourself happy for a change.

virginiamama71
by Carrie on Oct. 17, 2017 at 8:28 PM

A person can only do what is allowed.


Bebe11
by New Member on Oct. 20, 2017 at 4:32 PM

I agree with "piecebypeace".  Seing a counselor is a great next step.  I also wonder if you have some friends and family you can talk to.  You do a great job of putting your feelings into words, but I am wondering if you can talk it through with a trusted family member or friend, too.  Thinking of you!

Quoting piecebypeace:

Wow...what a terribly difficult situation. There are MAJOR boundaries issues going on here with your stepson, husband, etc. Before you just move out (although I understand the temptation), I would go see a counselor and talk about how to set healthy boundaries in your house. Read "Boundaries" by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend http://bit.ly/2dm0y10. You will learn a ton about these very issues you are having and how to handle them without necessarily moving out. Praying for a good outcome!!!!


Wynniebear
by Member on Oct. 21, 2017 at 11:07 AM
Well all my family is dead unfortunately and thanks to my husbands isolation I have no friends cause I pushed them all away cause he would give me guilt trips about going out for a coffee with a friend. I hate my life!

Quoting Bebe11:

I agree with "piecebypeace".  Seing a counselor is a great next step.  I also wonder if you have some friends and family you can talk to.  You do a great job of putting your feelings into words, but I am wondering if you can talk it through with a trusted family member or friend, too.  Thinking of you!

Quoting piecebypeace:

Wow...what a terribly difficult situation. There are MAJOR boundaries issues going on here with your stepson, husband, etc. Before you just move out (although I understand the temptation), I would go see a counselor and talk about how to set healthy boundaries in your house. Read "Boundaries" by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend http://bit.ly/2dm0y10. You will learn a ton about these very issues you are having and how to handle them without necessarily moving out. Praying for a good outcome!!!!

Wynniebear
by Member on Oct. 21, 2017 at 7:13 PM
The icing on the cake tonight, SS came home with his laundry in a BRAND NEW CAR!!!! I seriously may lose it
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