Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Ok so when my husband and I first got together over two years ago we had the porn talk. I expressed why I was not ok with him watching it and he agreed. Now almost 3 years later he's been caught a third time. I kicked him out. I'm not sure what to do here. It's not just about the porn. It's the lying and hiding it.
by on Mar. 6, 2018 at 12:02 AM
Replies (41-47):
needadvice1983
by Bronze Member on Mar. 11, 2018 at 11:18 AM
2 moms liked this
Do you like being controlled and told what you can and can’t do? No? Well that’s what you are doing to your DH. You seriously kicked him out over a silly thing like porn? You weren’t ready for marriage then. Your original conversation should have went something more like this “honey I’m not a huge fan of porn. But I understand you like it. So please just don’t watch it when I’m home”. There would have been no sneaking around. You brought this on yourself. Men watch porn. Have you ever given it an actual try? Maybe try watching it with him. It can be some different foreplay for you guys. Either way I would suggest if you want to salvage your marriage you get into counseling and learn to COMPROMISE (NOT control him). If you don’t want to then I really suggest after the divorce you just stay single. Because MOST men watch porn.

Quoting Emmasmommy2017: Ok so apparently women on here like to be lied to and disrespected by their other half. I didn't realize this page was like that.
AnnieArk
by Bronze Member on Mar. 11, 2018 at 1:06 PM
1 mom liked this
You have this problem because you were treating your husband like a child.
cck23
by New Member on Mar. 11, 2018 at 6:29 PM
1 mom liked this
I have to say I agree with you. We had this convo before marriage & agreed it was wrong. He has lied about it & then I've caught him a few times in our marriage. We have a baby now and I just found out he was looking at it frequently last week. I wanted to kick him out & didn't know what to do. I got so mad & we argued, but I believe it's really a problem/addiction for him & he needs help. He's sought out people who can help them & he is making an effort. Still hurts.
mom2twoboys41
by Silver Member on Mar. 12, 2018 at 10:08 AM

this and try some counseling too

Quoting DblTrblMom93:

I sorry but your marriage couldn't have been that strong if you are going to let something like your husband watching Porn and hiding it from you because you don't like it end. There has to be other issues going on then that. I understand he agreed not to look at it in the first place but there must be a reason he went back to it. You can't just throw him out without getting some sort of counseling to discuss the underlying issues of it. 


AmberRupert
by New Member on Mar. 13, 2018 at 12:38 PM

I think woman who control what their husbands watch...specifically PORN are very insecure about their relationship. What honestly is the difference between him fantasizing about other woman and watching. My husband and I have an agreement, I don't care about the porn unless it starts affecting our time together. Maybe the issue isn't with the porn but with you. If those are the kind of woman he wants then nothing I say or do is going to change that and i wouldnt want to anyway. 

AmberRupert
by New Member on Mar. 13, 2018 at 1:22 PM


Quoting Bmat:

*nodding* Thank you for clarifying. I am sorry you are going through this.

Quoting Emmasmommy2017: OK I was heated when I wrote this post. I didn't technically kick him out. I asked him to leave for a few hours. He won't do counseling. And oftentimes porn does lead to cheating. Especially when it's hidden and lied about. It wasn't like it was just once,this is the third time. And this time it was every night for over a month. Also I didn't say don't do it. It was a discussion at the very beginning and he said he had the same views on it.
Quoting Bmat:

I mostly agree with this, but it seems immature of him to watch it when the woman he loves has said don't do it. Could he have an addiction to it? Would marriage couseling help? I don't think he should have been kicked out of the house though.

Quoting virginiamama71: If it's not causing him to stray from the marriage don't worry about it.


AmberRupert
by New Member on Mar. 13, 2018 at 1:47 PM

I'm sorry but you can not actually be serious...You are blaming porn for men cheating, that is as bad as blaming music for stupid decisions of teenagers. Porn doesn't cause me to cheat, bad relationships, both sides, something is broken in them if they cheat. Don't blame porn for your crappy relationship.


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)