Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

New to here

Posted by on Mar. 14, 2018 at 1:36 PM
  • 8 Replies
Hi, I joined here to get advice and help as I’m a single mom and have absolutely no help with my toddler. He’s 18 months and is behaving really bad. He hits me, throws tantrums and doesn’t listen at all. Now obviously I’m not a new mom I have a 13-year-old girl but he’s very different from my daughter when she was a toddler. Please help
by on Mar. 14, 2018 at 1:36 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-8):
lucky2Beeme
by Platinum Member on Mar. 14, 2018 at 6:49 PM

Hi Ignore the tantrums. if you don't respond he should stop. When he hits you grab his hands , in a very stern voice say We do NOT hit or Hurt people. Does he need more structure so he isn't getting into trouble ?

virginiamama71
by Carrie on Mar. 14, 2018 at 6:50 PM
If he hits you correct him but don't hit him back.
When he throws a tantrum ignore him.
Not listening. Change the way you talk to him and eventually he will start to listen.
No changes after being consistent try parenting classes or talk with his doctor.
angelheart007
by New Member on Mar. 14, 2018 at 10:17 PM

When my son was that age and doing some of the same things we tried to make sure his day was very structured and he took his naps every day.  He would become very defiant when he was tired or not getting his way.  We first made sure there were no underlying undiagnosed medical issues and went from there.  The tantrums will stop if ignored...eventually ; /  the hitting was not allowed and he was put in his bed/playpen until he could behave accordingly.  He of course hated being in time out and learned pretty quickly to stop that.  Then he went on to bitting...hahaha, same course of action, he just simply hated being in time out.  Whatever you decide, being consistant is an absolute must or they learn only that we don't mean what we say.  I'm praying this ends quickly for you, I know how hard it can be.  But stay strong, he needs you to be more than you know.  Hugs and prayers from Texas

Margie2017
by Silver Member on Mar. 15, 2018 at 12:53 AM

Welcome to cafemom We are a mommy support site.

sherril2291
by New Member on Mar. 16, 2018 at 8:16 PM
1 mom liked this

Hi momofgirl-boy,

 

Isn't is absolutely amazing how different 2 children can be?  What a shock this must be for you after raising what sounds like a mild-mannered daughter!  

I remember when my son was a toddler - he could not keep his hands to himself, was extremely active, and tried my patience every minute he was awake!

Now he's a wonderfully adjusted teenager, so mama, hang in there and don't lose hope!  

My best advice would probably be consistency.  I know how exhausting it can be, but I found it was best if I was always consistent with my rules and the outcomes that ensued if those rules were not followed.  Even when my son was a toddler, I explained the expected behavior to him before we went out somewhere, and what would happen if he didn't listen.  I had to leave the store more than once to take him home when he lost it in a store and couldn't calm down.  

One thing I always kept in mind was to try to make sure I didn't take him out when he was extremely tired or hungry, because it was harder for him to keep it together when he was in those states.  I also made sure I hugged him a lot and praised him for listening and positive behavior.  

This too shall pass ;)  In the meantime, I found reading about and studying different tactics helped me figure out the best strategies. Make sure you rest and get some time for yourself, too  - take care of yourself, sweet mama!

Margie2017
by Silver Member on Mar. 17, 2018 at 2:13 AM

Welcome Check out some new groups on cafemom

Groups For Brand-New Moms

Group: The Fussy Baby


Why join: For parents of fussy, colicky, or "spirited" babies to connect, even if just to commiserate. The one rule? "Remember to not only ask questions, but give support."

Groups For Crafty Moms

Group:. Kids Crafts and Activities

.Why join: It’s moderated by a small collection of creative bloggers and features "Show and Tell" Mondays.

Group: Arts and Crafts For Toddlers & Kids

Why join: It's the first place you'll click when the forecast calls for rain — there's a deep archive of projects geared to kids at every age and stage.

Groups For Thrifty Moms

Group: Frugal Homemaking and Living

.
Why join: For money-saving projects, reusing and upcycling ideas, and tips with a "can-do, make-do-and-mend attitude." Plus, they have great recipes for DIY home care and cleaning alternatives. The group's motto? "Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without!"

Groups For Attachment Parenting

Group: Babywearing 101

.
Why join: For focused, filtered conversations about all forms of baby-wearing with newbies and experts alike.

Groups For Homeschooling

Group:.Hip Homeschooling


Why join: For those families already invested in the home education lifestyle to review curriculums and share valuable lessons learned along the way.

Groups For Health-Conscious Moms

Group:. CrockPot Moms

Why join: If you own a slow cooker, you're going to want to see what this large global group of women do with theirs.

Group:. Feeding the Littles

Why join: It's a safe space for "families of all varieties, philosophies, and income levels" to ask questions about the first phases of feeding your baby solids. Although baby-led weaning practices are promoted, they ensure it's not a place to debate the merits of organic versus conventional foods.

Groups For Working Moms

Group: .Moms with Careers Making It All Work
.
Why join: Not only is it a supportive place for working women to share their experiences juggling a career and family, but it's a great forum to simply vent, ask questions about daycare or nanny rates, and troubleshoot how to handle kids’ sick days.

Groups For Stay-at-Home Moms

Group:.Stay at Home Moms — the Struggle Is Real
Why join: If you've chosen at-home mothering but want to make sure you don't become just a short-order cook. "It can be so easy to lose sight of ourselves as individuals," the support group empathizes.

Group:  Stay at Home Mom Life!

Why join: To swap stories about life inside the home and to share creative ways to fill the day.

Groups For Special Needs

Group:Make It Tips For Special Needs


Why join: Although this group focuses on parents of children who are physically challenged and developmentally delayed, anyone can come away with a new perspective.

Group: Trying To Conceive 

Why join: .

Are you planning a baby or extending your family but not quite ready due to education, work, housing or other reasons? Talk with others 'Waiting to try' for a baby! Trying to conceive your first or doing it again? Discuss trying to get pregnant, ovulation and fertility issues. Share and seek advice through your TTC journey with others.

In post ovulation limbo? You have done all you can this month, it's time to let nature to take its course. While away your time by symptom spotting and sharing your two week wait survival tips.

Trying to get pregnant over the age of 35 comes with its own unique issues. Take a breather from the bussle of the regular TTC forum and chat with others who are trying for a baby later in life.

Trying to conceive after the loss of a pregnancy or child can be a very uncertain time. Find support and friendship from others and talk about the ups and downs of trying again.

Problems TTC? Share your journeys with other ladies, giving and receiving emotional support with others in a similar situation to you.

IVF, IUI, egg share, surrogacy, sperm donor. Coping with infertility and the journey through fertility treatment can leave you with lots of mixed emotions. Talk to others who can share these times with you.

Speak to other members who are cycling around the same time, in the 2ww, team up, make new friends and share your journey on a one to one, or together as a group.

Share your good news with everyone! This forum is dedicated to announcing your pregnancy. Please restrict your BFP announcements to this section only.

A place to post and compare (POAS) Pregnancy / Ovulation tests and ask for advice and opinions on your photos.



Group:  1st Pregnancy

Why join: .Celebrate each trimester with the support of others

Group:   Baby Names.

Why join: .Need a special name for that new baby, let us help

Group:   Baby's First Year

Why join: Baby's First Year 

is your place  to share funny, cute, or downright embarrassing stories from baby to a year.

Group:  Mother & Baby

Why join: We provide accurate and up-to-date info for future parents, parents and anyone to who is interested in learning more about getting pregnant, being pregnant, giving birth, health, nutrition and much more.

Use our tools to determine your ovulation date, due date, plus check out our new chinese gender chart.
You can also catch up on the growth and development of your baby and the changes happening to your body by reading our week by week calendar.

Group:  Moms With Preschoolers

Why join:.You now have a toddler keeping you on your toes.  New character traits develop and you start dealing with tantrums and potty training.  Talk to other toddler parents ask and share advice.

Group:  Toddler Time

Why join:.This is your place to share, funny, cute or downright embarrassing stories from your toddler

Group:. Moms of Teens and Preteens


Why join: .The baby days are over and the kids are growing up.  What happens next?  School days, homework, stroppy teenagers.  It's all to come.  Come and chat with other parents of older children.

Group:Moms with Big Kids

Why join: Your big kid's ready for school! As your child's development continues, focus on kindergarten and education with tips to improve reading and writing, test taking, and homework. Make sure to talk about any potential school problems, such as bullying, school cliques, and peer pressure. At home, focus on family values by teaching good manners and money management skills, and use our printable Chore Charts to teach responsibility. No matter the age, your child may throw a temper tantrum, so consult our discipline tips, and satisfy picky eaters with our nutritious and delicious school lunch and snack recipes.

Group: Single Moms Club


Why join: Support for parents that are going it alone.  Single parenting can bring many ups and downs, trying and emotional times.Talk with others who are bringing up children on their own.

Group: Your Health & Wellbeing


Why join: The health of your family is very important.  Discuss health issues in this group. Smoking, dr. appointments, natural remedies and general wellbeing.

Group: Teen Pregnancy


Why join: Young and Pregnant  Come an talk to other teen mothers-to-be and helpful adults who can give support and advice on issues related to teen pregnancy


AllyS88
by New Member on Mar. 26, 2018 at 1:25 PM

not being in this stage (yet) with my own daughter, but walking through this with other moms I know, this is what I observed:

Tantrums: Do not engage, it will only egg them on.. either ignore them or, if they are disrupting something, pick them up and put them in a time out place to help them take space.. this will help teach them to take space in the future when they are becomming overwhelmed and need to take a break.

Hitting: Definitely not tolerated. Do you have a 'time out' place in your home? I would utilize time outs or taking away something that is meaningful to him (technology, toy, etc). My friend has a pack n' play in her house as a time out place.

good luck! I know it's hard. Stay strong and this too shall pass!

Here is an article that could be helpful: https://bit.ly/2I4Scr3


Boileremily
by Member on Mar. 26, 2018 at 1:48 PM

Sounds like he is just being mean! That said I agree with Lucky what she says and also I would consider talking to someone else in your Family to see if they have any other suggestions to get him to stop this and also talk to his Pediatrician as well. Good luck!

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)