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Posted by on Mar. 14, 2018 at 1:36 PM
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Hi, I joined here to get advice and help as I’m a single mom and have absolutely no help with my toddler. He’s 18 months and is behaving really bad. He hits me, throws tantrums and doesn’t listen at all. Now obviously I’m not a new mom I have a 13-year-old girl but he’s very different from my daughter when she was a toddler. Please help
by on Mar. 14, 2018 at 1:36 PM
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by Platinum Member on Mar. 14, 2018 at 6:49 PM

Hi Ignore the tantrums. if you don't respond he should stop. When he hits you grab his hands , in a very stern voice say We do NOT hit or Hurt people. Does he need more structure so he isn't getting into trouble ?

by Carrie on Mar. 14, 2018 at 6:50 PM
If he hits you correct him but don't hit him back.
When he throws a tantrum ignore him.
Not listening. Change the way you talk to him and eventually he will start to listen.
No changes after being consistent try parenting classes or talk with his doctor.
by New Member on Mar. 14, 2018 at 10:17 PM

When my son was that age and doing some of the same things we tried to make sure his day was very structured and he took his naps every day.  He would become very defiant when he was tired or not getting his way.  We first made sure there were no underlying undiagnosed medical issues and went from there.  The tantrums will stop if ignored...eventually ; /  the hitting was not allowed and he was put in his bed/playpen until he could behave accordingly.  He of course hated being in time out and learned pretty quickly to stop that.  Then he went on to bitting...hahaha, same course of action, he just simply hated being in time out.  Whatever you decide, being consistant is an absolute must or they learn only that we don't mean what we say.  I'm praying this ends quickly for you, I know how hard it can be.  But stay strong, he needs you to be more than you know.  Hugs and prayers from Texas

by Silver Member on Mar. 15, 2018 at 12:53 AM

Welcome to cafemom We are a mommy support site.

by New Member on Mar. 16, 2018 at 8:16 PM
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Hi momofgirl-boy,


Isn't is absolutely amazing how different 2 children can be?  What a shock this must be for you after raising what sounds like a mild-mannered daughter!  

I remember when my son was a toddler - he could not keep his hands to himself, was extremely active, and tried my patience every minute he was awake!

Now he's a wonderfully adjusted teenager, so mama, hang in there and don't lose hope!  

My best advice would probably be consistency.  I know how exhausting it can be, but I found it was best if I was always consistent with my rules and the outcomes that ensued if those rules were not followed.  Even when my son was a toddler, I explained the expected behavior to him before we went out somewhere, and what would happen if he didn't listen.  I had to leave the store more than once to take him home when he lost it in a store and couldn't calm down.  

One thing I always kept in mind was to try to make sure I didn't take him out when he was extremely tired or hungry, because it was harder for him to keep it together when he was in those states.  I also made sure I hugged him a lot and praised him for listening and positive behavior.  

This too shall pass ;)  In the meantime, I found reading about and studying different tactics helped me figure out the best strategies. Make sure you rest and get some time for yourself, too  - take care of yourself, sweet mama!

by Silver Member on Mar. 17, 2018 at 2:13 AM

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by New Member on Mar. 26, 2018 at 1:25 PM

not being in this stage (yet) with my own daughter, but walking through this with other moms I know, this is what I observed:

Tantrums: Do not engage, it will only egg them on.. either ignore them or, if they are disrupting something, pick them up and put them in a time out place to help them take space.. this will help teach them to take space in the future when they are becomming overwhelmed and need to take a break.

Hitting: Definitely not tolerated. Do you have a 'time out' place in your home? I would utilize time outs or taking away something that is meaningful to him (technology, toy, etc). My friend has a pack n' play in her house as a time out place.

good luck! I know it's hard. Stay strong and this too shall pass!

Here is an article that could be helpful:

by Member on Mar. 26, 2018 at 1:48 PM

Sounds like he is just being mean! That said I agree with Lucky what she says and also I would consider talking to someone else in your Family to see if they have any other suggestions to get him to stop this and also talk to his Pediatrician as well. Good luck!

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