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How Would You Feel If You Found Out YOUR Child...

Posted by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 9:06 AM
  • 28 Replies

How would you feel as a parent if you found out your child as a teenager who has been hanging around another family a lot has signed mock adoption papers?

Sure it might sound like fun and games... but think about it this way. Your child is calling someone else mom and dad... Mothers day rolls around... your child doesn't do anything with you, and maybe buys you a card. You find out later that they spent mother's day with the other family and "mom" and spent the day getting Mothers Day pictures and buying nice gifts for her. This is another true story from the life of my MIL and her daughter, my SIL. She's been hanging around a girl who used to goto our church who everyone thought was good for her. My SIL and MIL have had a rocky relationship as a lot of mothers and teenage daughters do. But the person she's been hanging around calls this lady "mom" and has signed these fake adoption papers- as her parents are divorced, but her mom loves her and has done her best to raise her... but this other family is just picture perfect... no problems as it would appear. And they welcome these girls to sign these papers and take them on as a new family, which isn't very right if you ask me. Seems "mom" just likes the attention. But I don't think this is very fair to their mothers who have worked so hard to raise them. And sure home life might not be perfect... but I don't think adoption papers and constantly going over to someone elses home to get away is the answer.  The fact is they should be working on their relationships with their own mothers. I think I would feel hurt and abandoned if this happened to me. I'd feel like I'd failed as a mother, no matter how hard I've tried. Now I know teenagers rebel, but this is a litte far. Opinions? How would you feel if this were your child?

by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 9:06 AM
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Replies (1-10):
amerigirl156
by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 9:20 AM

I would have to agree with you on that. I would feel hurt and abandoned as well. The daughter and mother should be trying to mend there relationship and that fact that the daughter chooses to run to another family hinders that greatly. That other mother is looking to get attention and the praise that she get from her own children if any must not be enough for her. You know how it is when you think a family is perfect, it rarely ever is. That mom probably has issues of her own and having other peoples children treat her like some kind of a supermom makes her feel better about herself.

sryle
by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 9:31 AM
Wow. Right on the button! lol She does have two younger children... 5 and I think 10. They adore her though. lol But she left our church to goto a church where she could get more attention, so you are very right about that part. She thrives on it!
fabfive
by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 9:41 AM
wow! I am saddened to hear this. It's one thing that the girl feels "comfortable" at this other home, but for the mom to have her sign ADOPTION papers...(sorry, I'm adopted, I am taking this in a different manner) making "light" of adoptions, etc...sounds like an IMMATURE idea to me. The other "mom" wanted to really help this girl, she would be talking about how to make things better with her mom--TAKING 'HER' OUT TO BUY HER REAL MOM presents and giving her ideas of what to do to make this girl's real mom's day special. How old is this parent? She's seems immature to me. It's nice she has the church, etc..in the picture, but maybe her own mom should be going with her. If her own mom is abusing her that's one thing...but it just sounds like what most kids have with their moms...(or is her mom truly a bad role model?) even if so, don't agree with the "adoption" paper thing..it's stupid.
BikerLiker
by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 9:53 AM
As a DIL it's hard to sit back and watch this, specially if you are the type where Family comes first.
My SIL has not been home in about 6 years now...Well UNLESS there is a Funeral...her and her Husband come up go to the Funeral then leave. Yes there are some bad feelings between them but hell after 28 years it's time to get OVER it.

I got VERY upset when they would not drive up to their Nephews' Wedding(my Son). They went to our Neices Wedding. My BIL only goes where he thinks he can benefit fromit. (greedy).

How can Family be so cruel? I love my MIL so I took her Daughters place..you snooze you LOSE! I have gotten very protective about my MIL...
MomVten
by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 9:58 AM
As hard as it is to raise teenagers, it would hurt alot to have someone decide to "adopt" my child. Sometimes we go thru situations where the kids spend more time with another family but this is kinda wierd. Can she call the "other" mom? and ask what is really going on???
sryle
by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 10:05 AM

My MIL is 50 years old, but I will say she is kind of immature for her age. As for a role model, well she tries. She's not a bad role model. She is really trying hard to fix her relationship with her daughter. The whole things a mess, and I have posted plenty of MIL gripes on here... but when it comes down to it, she's not a bad person, and not a bad mom. But it would seem that once my husband was raised, both my MIL and FIL started slacking on their parenting... They can't seem to agree on anything any more, and b/c of it my SIL gets away with too much.

mommyof4mom2all
by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 10:12 AM
I THINK THIS IS WHERE PARENTS ARE GOING WRONG THESE DAYS. WE NEED TO BE MAKING THEIR BUTTS STAY AT HOME. MY KIDS BRING ANY FRIENDS THEY WANT TO HANG OUT WITH HERE THAT WAY I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON.PARENTS ARE TURNING THEIR KIDS LOSE AT TOO YOUNG AN AGE NOW A DAYS JUST BECAUSE OTHER KIDS ARE GETTING TO AND OUR KIDS MIGHT GET MADE FUN OF WELL WORSE THINGS COULD HAPPEN. WE NEED TO STEP UP AND SAY NO YOUR STAYING AT HOME!!!!
MomLather
by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 10:18 AM
I think this is very odd! It sounds as if the "mom" is a little crazy and childish to come up with papers like that. What the heck?? I totally agree with you! I would wonder what the "mom" is up to with having them all sign these fake adoption papers.
sryle
by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 10:21 AM

Quoting mommyof4mom2all:

I THINK THIS IS WHERE PARENTS ARE GOING WRONG THESE DAYS. WE NEED TO BE MAKING THEIR BUTTS STAY AT HOME. MY KIDS BRING ANY FRIENDS THEY WANT TO HANG OUT WITH HERE THAT WAY I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON.PARENTS ARE TURNING THEIR KIDS LOSE AT TOO YOUNG AN AGE NOW A DAYS JUST BECAUSE OTHER KIDS ARE GETTING TO AND OUR KIDS MIGHT GET MADE FUN OF WELL WORSE THINGS COULD HAPPEN. WE NEED TO STEP UP AND SAY NO YOUR STAYING AT HOME!!!!

Yes I agree! My husband and I have said when the kids get older we want to have a game room/movie room (like a cool place to hang out) so our kids will want their friends to come to OUR house, and not always want to leave!
fabfive
by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 10:58 AM
I think you misunderstood...how old is the "MOM" that had the adoption papers? That mother sounds horribly immature...

One thing though, and parents never look at it this way either...we would LOVE the basement from DisneyLand where every teenager wants to hang, so they are at our house too..(but unfortunately, whoever built our stupid house only poured 1/2 basement, the rest crawl space) if you build that and want your kids home all the time--then the "other" kids are always wanting to be away from their own homes too--thus, creating the situation you are describing. We have a little pact in our "group:" of kids...no more than 6 can come at one time--might allow up to 10 on a special occasion--and we all take a turn--one can go broke feeding teen boys--PLUS trust me--you don't want  them in your house every night!! (summer months!!) haha...we have our "stay home" nights here ..and ours keep busy with sports, and we have a CURFEW that is earlier than most--kids hate it, but we also have GOOD kids...good luck with this one. I think someone needs to call the 'ADOPTIVE' mom and set her straight...she's medaling where she shouldn't..and what if something happens to the friendship with the daughter? ...as often as girls can fight and switch friends..then is the adoption null and void? haha...very odd behavior....
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