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Slobs

Posted by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 11:08 AM
  • 3 Replies
Gonna try to make this as short as possible.  All my life, I have been the family "cleaner".  One of my sisters now has a maid (la~di~da) and my other sister is just a pig.  My daughter currently lives w/ my parents (because it's closer to her college than to be w/ me), and she is also a slob ~ as is my mom.  My dad generally does all the cleaning.  Whenever they go away on vacation (mom & dad), I go clean their house.  I know it's great to come home to a clean house after a long trip.  My sister (the slob), told me that she wouldn't do it.  I told her that I have been doing it forever ~ even when she was still living there.  Now she tells me that is the reason SHE is a slob ~ because I always did the cleaning.  Is that fair for her to say?  Am I a slob ~ enabler???
by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 11:08 AM
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blessedmom8171
by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 11:17 AM
No way - she's got to take responsibility for her own actions! If she's a slob as an adult then that is her own problem.

Here's the weird thing - my mom was not a slob, she spent more time cleaning than playing with us. So, two things came out of that: 1. I didn't know how to do anything around the house when I moved out (dh taught me how to do laundry), and 2. I find it more important to play with my kids than have a sparkling house (not a dirty house, but not magazine cover ready either).

But here's the deal: is it my mother's fault that I didn't know how to do anything -  not really. She thought she was doing the right thing by not making the kids slaves. I had to as an adult decide that I needed to learn to do household things but to also have a better balance than she did. That is what your sister needs to do - accept how it was when she grew up and decide how she wants it to be now. And once she's decided, she has to do it herself.

I don't think you're enabling your parents, it's not like you go there every week. That might be a problem. But, I would just say it's a nice thing you're doing for them and there's never anything wrong with that. As long as they appreciate you for it, then you should do what makes you happy.
okmom23
by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 11:17 AM
Don't give it another thought.......she can't blame you for her actions.....she's a slob because she chooses to be not because you did the cleaning......She's an adult and can do things on her own.....even clean
motherofthree81
by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 11:31 AM
Well honey, its true that when others do for ya you do less than you have too.....
but I dont see the big deal, you like to clean and show others you care and thats your way. So do it if you want to. I doubt you are enabling your own mom....as she may appreciate your doing it, if she lives this way anyway, shes  not gonna change now.
It tickles me, I am a cleaner...not as bad as I used to be, but I am,,......however my daughter isnt, she does what has to be done. And she is about to move out to her own home in another state, and to hear her speak of it and how shes gonna clean is humerous, and yet rewarding. Becasue she doesnt do what I would say is a great job here at home, but at least I taught her somehing to take into her own home. So maybe its just that we are the kind of person that is always doing it so they have less to do anyway, yet when they have to they will.
Fun cleaning!Whistle while you work.
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