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I need some help

Posted by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 1:24 PM
  • 8 Replies
Hi, I am a new comer, hence that is why I joined the new comers group.  Can someone help me with an issue I am having with my 3yr.old.  I feel too stupid to take him to the dr. and just wanted some experienced mother's advise.
by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 1:24 PM
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Replies (1-8):
babygiamom
by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 1:25 PM
What is up, I have a 3 yr old too and trust me  nothing is stupid here...
Jessmom
by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 1:26 PM
What is the problem?
amleigh2
by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 1:31 PM
Thank you for replying.  This chat stuff is not like it use to be long ago...OK here is the deal.  My 3 yr old (just turned May 29) has now had an attack of seperation issues.  I do not know what to do.  He has been with the same people since the day he was born.  He pitches a fit when he gets to his "nanny's" house (he has been with her since he was 4 wks old), and he wants nothing to do with the people at church (he has been with them since he was born).  My husband kept him and my 7yr old at home last week (just one day) and instead of getting off his lazy bottom to get our son out of playing in the bathroom or just to come down to the living room, he just yelled "The Boogie Man is going to get you".  Now my 3yr old will not potty by himself.  There has not been any drastic changes made, just some minor ones.  But nothing I thought big enough to do this.  What do I do?  I am leaving next weekend for a 2 day cruise w/just hubby?
Jessmom
by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 1:40 PM

Once allot of children get around that age, they start getting more independent, yet they are unsure at the same time. It can cause them to be very attached to Mommy. My son was like that, though not as bad. I think it's just a stage you have to weather through. When you drop them off you've got to do just like with a younger child. Don't hover and draw it out. Just hug 'em, kiss 'em and go. It will pass.

As far as the Boogey Man goes, that wasn't  a smart thing to do. My son brought up the Boogey Man a couple of years ago (he's 4) . I don't know where he heard it (and I'd love to get hold of the culprit), but I immediately told him there was no such thing and that the person was just trying to scare him. We tell him, we do not, under any circumstances, allow monsters and such in our house. That every morning and evening, Dad checks the whole house, the dog guards the back and Grandma Jennie (an angel) guards the roof. It was more involved than that, but you probably get the gist.
Hope that helps.

manda729
by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 1:42 PM
Hey I have four little ones between the ages of 7 and 4 mo I am happy to help in any way I can.

I would slowly start leaving him with people you trust for a half hour at a time kissing him goodbye and saying Mommy will be back.  I hate to do this with mine but have no trouble now leaving as long as I leave a bottle for the baby. (I am B/F)  other then that they cry when I leave and that is awful but they know I will be back and only cry for about 5 min.  They have to be able to know you will return I would start everyday this week so you have a chance of not feeling so guilty to get away with your hubby you deserve that I'm sure.  As for the potty training thing that is awful but with reassurance or giving him a tool to scare the boogie man away- I used to tell my kids he was afraid of laughter- then if they got scared they started laughing till they forgot why they were scared. It should pass too.
babygiamom
by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 2:00 PM
Well it is seperation anxiety.. My daughter did it too. she has been staying at my parents every weekend since she was 1 month and she went thru it.  My parents and I came up with a plan that I would stay at the house a time or two when she is ready for Nap or bed and slay with her..Then one of them would take over and stay with them...When My daughter got up, she never enven realized I was gone and has been having a blast ever since..Also call alot. and talk on the phone and let him know you are still there...
amleigh2
by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 2:06 PM
I wish I could be with him, but I have to work.  And now I have a Vacation Bible School class that I have to teach.  He has his own class to go to and it is with someone he used to love to play with.  I do not think that me changing classes is the answer.  I want him to know that it is ok to be with others, when he has already been with them.  With the sitter, he cries for just a few minutes after I leave and it's over.  But the other night at church, it was horrible.  If he had not seen me, then he would have been ok.  How do I make this pass any faster?
bams
by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 2:16 PM

Quoting amleigh2:

I wish I could be with him, but I have to work.  And now I have a Vacation Bible School class that I have to teach.  He has his own class to go to and it is with someone he used to love to play with.  I do not think that me changing classes is the answer.  I want him to know that it is ok to be with others, when he has already been with them.  With the sitter, he cries for just a few minutes after I leave and it's over.  But the other night at church, it was horrible.  If he had not seen me, then he would have been ok.  How do I make this pass any faster?

You can't really make it pass faster. But it is just a phase that he'll get over. Make sure you don't get anxious when preparing to leave him or he'll pick up on that. Be upbeat and happy and let him know how the day will go, so he will know what to expect. And maybe tell him something about the boogeyman, like he's afraid of the potty or such, once he gets his confidence back it'll be a distant memory. Good luck and hang in there!!!
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