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I need help please...

Posted by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 5:29 PM
  • 15 Replies
MY boyfriends family hardly has anything to do with our daughter and it drives me crazy.  He has a 6 almost 7 year old daughter as well and they spend every weekend with her and call her all week to see how she is doing and take her shopping and have pictures of her everywhere.  When his neice is in town they want to play with her and hold her and show her off and she is only 6 months older than my daughter but they want nothing to do with Layla (my daughter) .  Hid brother and his girlfriend are coming into town this weekend with their daughter of course and I really get along with them but the only way we can see them is to go to his parents house and I cant stand being there anymore because of how they treat layla.  They dont have any pictures of her anywhere they walk right by her and ignore her and play with her only when no one else is at their house.  I think my daughter is beautiful but I feel like they are embarassed for people to know she is a part of their family.  They will call my boyfriend and sometimes not even mention my daughter not even to ask how she is doing.  They have only ought her like a few outfits but get the other girls stuff all the time.  I feel bad because I dont want my daughter to start to notice when she gets older and I realy dont want to go there this weekend but I want to see his brother and his girlfriend and thats the only way but I dont know what to do about his family....I feel bad for my daughter....please help us out
by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 5:29 PM
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Replies (1-10):
bradyswife124
by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 5:31 PM
say something to them, girl, the only way things will change is if something is said to them.
Dixiemelody
by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 5:38 PM
I don't think I'd say anything to them if I were you. Instead, talk to your boyfriend about how you feel & get his reaction first. Then ask him to speak to his family about the situation.

If they continue to ignore your daughter, politely decline any & all invitations from them.
 
Good Luck!
Laylasmommy07
by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 5:38 PM
Its hard for me to talk to them because they speak laos.  Everytime we go there they talk to my boyfriend in laos and act like im not there.  I cant talk to them about anything let alone something serious.  They dont want to hear ANYTHING I have to say.  I talk to my boyfriend about it all the time because it really bothers me but he doesnt really see anything wrong with it or something he doesnt want to talk to them about it he thinks that I should just ignore it.
acdcmcscmom222
by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 5:41 PM
say some thing but don't be to mad because my husband was and is like that with our girls until he was able to under stand them.  but boy now they are daddies little girls 
Momof3Gs770
by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 5:41 PM
 Why are they singleing her out?  It sounds like they have a problem with you. What is their problem?   Whatever problem they have with you they should not take it out on a little girl that is cruel.   I wouldnt want my kid around vicious people like that. Tell the people you want to see to come see you. If they care about you they will be willing to do that for you.
cah75
by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 5:41 PM

That is such a hurtful thing for someone to do!    WHY are they doing this?  Do they dislike YOU as well?    You should say something to them.  If this is not going to change, you have the painful and difficult decision of whether or not you will continue a relationship with his family.  this could be harmful to your child in the future, not to mention your relationship with your boyfriend if you argue about it.   How does HE feel about all this.  Does it bother him too.   For your sake and the sake of your child I hope this can be resolved!

Caryn

Mommy2Kaylyn
by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 5:44 PM
Oh honey I know how you feel but it is my grandparents they want nothing to do with my daughter who is there only great grand daughter but yet my sister has two boys and they do everything under the sun for them ..
You have to do what is right for you and your daughter , if you want to see his brother find someone to watch the baby and you go with out her .. This is what I do with my grand parents when I lived close to them and although it doesn't solve the problem it might make you feel better knowing that your daughter is not being subjected to them and there dislike for her .
You do need to talk to your boyfriend though and let him know how you feel and that this is something that HE needs to fix .. They are his parents so he needs to solve the problem if it is even solvable ..

Good luck
speechie
by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 5:45 PM
You could approach it several ways.  First, you might try going over there when it is just you and your boyfriend - and blatently ASK them WHY they ignore your daughter.  Call them out on the way they show such favoritism to the other children.  I would want to know, if I was you, if there was some real 'reason' - not that any reason is good one for treating a child that way.  My best friend gets this treatment from her in-laws.... so it's not just you.   My friend pointed out to them that when her kids got just a bit older, they'd see for themselves how grandma treated them differently and the kids could make up their own mind not to have anything to do with THEM.  

The other thing my friend does, is call them out on it in front of whoever is there.  When they bring out outfits for the other kids, she'll comment - "oh, those are precious.  Layla would look so cute in that too." and sometimes blatently says "where's Layla's?"   And when they are playing with the other kids, go put Layla in the mix of things.  Even if the grandparents dont play with her, she will be in the mix of kids to not become viewed as 'outcast' by the other kiddos.

maybe not the best advice, but hope it helps
smalltownmom198
by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 5:47 PM
I had the same problem with my husbands parents favoring his sisters kids, but never having anything to do with ours. I finally had enough and said something to his mother and now she has started making a huge effort in our boy's lives and we couldn't be more proud of her. Say something! It makes a difference.
Laylasmommy07
by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 5:49 PM
I have never done anything to make them not like me.  I am always nice and polite when I go there I try to help them if they are doing stuff I dont know what else to do to try to fit in with their family and its not because im a different race because his brothers girlfriend is white too so I dont know what to do.  Im afraid my boyfriend and I will have to break up because of it.
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