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torn and confused

Posted by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 10:38 PM
  • 25 Replies
 Okay my first marrige failed because my husband at he time got arrested and was charged with very bad things. to make this short He has to regester for asex effender for the rest of his life, While we were married he messed around with a 12 year old ewwwwwwwwww. he was 20. Know my second husband who toke kami in like she was his own and loves her to death. WELL hes getting out in two years and wants to see her. She has no clue who he is .  Should I let him see hr or not. When he got arrested she was a month and 2 days old so she has no clue who he is. what to do what to do????????/ help????.
by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 10:38 PM
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by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 10:45 PM
Wow, thats a hard one. Sadly by law he still has rights. Why, I have no clue. I think I would think about it for a while since he still has another 2 years. and then go from there. I wish you the best.


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by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 10:46 PM
I am not sure what to say first of all If there is any question in your mind that your daughter would not be safe with him then I would side with her safety. I wouldn't let him see her if you feel like she would be in any way in danger. If your considering  letting her then I would talk with all the legal personnel you can get there opinions and find out how he was in while he was incarcerated I would make sure that he recognizes the severity of the crime he committed But once again when in doubt side with safety I am sorry that you are even having to decide on such a situation
by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 10:48 PM

That really is only a decision you can make....I wouldnt let my ex see my son for less than that....Do you want to take that chance that he might try to do something to her. I am not saying he will....Most likely he wont....I am really not sure but he does have rights. You could try going to the courts if you do want to let her see him and see if they can do supervised visits. Sorry I could not be more helpful.

by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 10:49 PM
I hate to say it, and this is only my opinion but, I wouldn't want him anywhere near my daughter! If he has to be listed as a sex offender for the rest of his life, I just wouldn't feel comfortable with that. How does your husband now feel about it? Since he has been more of a father to her then him, his opinion would mean a lot as well! Good luck that is a difficult decision! 
by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 11:18 PM
No, I would not allow him to see her if she were mine.
He would not have access to any female under 18 if I had my way.
Especially my daughter, regardless if she is his or not.

I don't bend on this, not an inch.
But that's just me.

by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 11:26 PM
no no no big no you are the protector of your child you have to think about two things do you want to trust a sex offender and do you want to traumatize your child by sending her off with a stranger he may the bio father but with that long of a separation with that young of a child he is a stranger. Right now while you have time get professional advice from a lawyer [most will give a free 15 min. consultation], child protective services etc.Find out how to get a protective order and get it in place so you are ready Don't mess around this is your child's life!
by on Jun. 20, 2007 at 11:53 PM
There's no way I owuld let him see her. People who do things like that are mentally ill and there's no telling what they will do. It doesnt matter either how he was while he's in jail since there'ss no children there. I dont thnk that really does anything for people who are sex offenders anyway. sorry this happend. what does your husband think?
by on Jun. 21, 2007 at 6:04 AM
he is her father...even though just biological...maybe you should let them visit ...but only with supervision from the courts...becuse of the situation...
by on Jun. 21, 2007 at 6:11 AM
thats a decision you need to make. However if it was me either i would not let him see her but if i had to it would sure be supervised. Go to court and beg the judge for supervised visits with like child services. You'll take your daughter to their office and drop her of she and him will go into a room with a social worker and have a visit for an hour or two. Explain to the judge what he did and that your daughter is attached to you and your new husband and it would terrify her to be alone with him because she doesnt know him as daddy. Also tell the judge your weary of him being alone with her due to his past. I hope this helps and try not to stress about it too much. Good luck sweetie. Erin
by Silver Member on Jun. 21, 2007 at 6:16 AM
I would let him see her.  She is his daughter.  I don't think you have a choice if he goes through the legal system so I would prepare her now and letting her know who her real (ok...  let me rephrase...  her biological) father is.  Weather its supervised visitation or not - he will get to see her. 
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