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A funny story about someone I don't know. lol

Posted by on Jun. 28, 2007 at 3:47 PM
  • 7 Replies
One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work.
Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was more than I could stand.With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans.
All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas. Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call.
The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill.

I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously.

Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.

My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"

I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
by on Jun. 28, 2007 at 3:47 PM
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Replies (1-7):
SVSASHER
by on Jun. 28, 2007 at 3:50 PM
so funny
TommysMommy04
by on Jun. 28, 2007 at 3:54 PM
LMAO!!!! thats the funniest thing i have heard in a long time!
wellnessmom2
by on Jun. 28, 2007 at 3:55 PM
OMGosh!!!!!!  I wouldn't FAINT, I WOULD DIE OF EMBARRASSMENT!!!!   But that is REALLY funny!!  Why couldn't one of the people at the table say something, or make a noise to let her know she wasn't alone????!

wellnessmom2-WAHM of 3 (2 at home). I love to help families get healthy! Live Safer, Healthier, Longer! Go GREEN-Protect your family from Toxic Chemicals!
alejandra714
by on Jun. 28, 2007 at 3:55 PM
damn imagine that lol
KimmyShaw
by Ruby Member on Jun. 28, 2007 at 3:57 PM
LOL! I love that one!
qtpyesmom
by on Jun. 28, 2007 at 4:00 PM
That was too funny. I kinda knew what was coming though. Cute!
Princess_Ariel
by on Jun. 28, 2007 at 4:06 PM
All I can say is glad it wasn't me!! LOL That's too cute...
I'm still!!!

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