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Where am I going when I die.....

Posted by on Jul. 14, 2007 at 1:55 AM
  • 4 Replies

So recently I have been really bothered by a few things, and at times I feel these things are renewing my faith in God, and at other times I feel myself becoming less and less faithful. How do you explain that? The thing with Kaleb Schwade, being shook so hard from his daycare provider he is now blind and struggling to survive in hopes of someday living a normal life. Baby Ethan Powell, barely out of his mother's womb and now struggling to survive at St. Jude Children's Hospital due to leukemia. Skylar Jade Maxson, a three-year-old who suffers from an inoperable brain tumor and as of May was given just six months to live. The list of sick children living for months and months in a hospital goes on and on. I hate to admit it, but it really makes me question my faith in God. Now don't get me wrong, I do believe in Him, but it is very hard for me to understand how God could allow anything like this to happen to these innocent children.

There are so many people throughout America that are currently praying for Kaleb. I do believe there is power in numbers, and I do believe that prayer works. I find myself praying for all these children numerous times throughout each day and night. But am I wasting my time? Are my prayers pointless? Does God listen to your prayers when you yourself admit your faith is weakened? I don't want to be one of those people who prays only when I need something, and although I don't personally know any of these children I do need for them to get better. It rips my heart out just knowing the pain they are suffering each day and here I am living my normal life. I need to hear that these babies beat the odds. But I feel a bit like a hypocrite, praying one minute and feeling faithless the next. Would these parents even want me praying for their children if I have any question in my mind about faith itself?

If I were a 'good' Christian, I would believe that there is a reason for everything and that God never gives out more than you can handle. But as a parent myself, you are forced to handle these situations because there is no other choice about it. But how can you find a understandable reason for a child to have leukemia, inoperable brain tumors, or to be shaken so violently they can no longer see and may never live a normal life again? If I were a 'good' Christian, I would believe that God forgives everyone for their mistakes. I agree with this to an extent. I do not believe that these sickos who abuse and molest children should ever be forgiven. They have stolen the health, innocence, and happiness away from innocent children. They can rot in hell for all I care! So what do I call myself? A 'bad' Christian? A disbeliever? Am I even a Christian at all?
Michelle Fischer
"If I'm not back in five minutes--wait longer."

by on Jul. 14, 2007 at 1:55 AM
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by on Jul. 14, 2007 at 2:01 AM
wow! u have a strenghth of heart that i have seen in few.  it DOES NOT make you an unbeliever. remember god gives everyone feel will, so that they might come to him with a loving heart. and you have that.  you cant control others actions anymore than God would chose to.
God didnt want us to all be puppets. thats why we were given free will.  all we can do is pray for others, love them, understand, and help as much as you can.  you are much more christian than i. 

by on Jul. 14, 2007 at 2:22 AM
 You must have faith because God can heal the sick, I have seen God heal the crippled. You can not blame God because he is not at fault. All these children are his children and the children will go to heaven if they are taken. Everything happens for a reason. I should have been dead 4 years ago and it was God that heard me calling for him and he does answers prayers. Let me tell you a little story about what happened to me.. before I go into the story I will share a dream I had 2 weeks prior which is short. I had a dream I was on the freeway and there was a tractor trailor in front of me and one behind me and I got hit by the one behind me which rammed me into the one in front of me  then that tractor trailor landed on top of me and I was being smashed like a pancake and I couldn't even breath because I was dying in my dream.
Two weeks later I get a phone call that they were going to do surgury on my mother because they were taking a part of her liver out so I left at 10 pm and I took the baby with me at the time. so I was wide awake and alert, at 12.00 am  when I was traveling, I was on the freeway I just crossed the Pa line and all of a sudden I lost control of my vehicle, I had a tractor trailor infront of me and two behind me I was going about 80 mile an hr and I must of hit black ice and I did a donut on the freeway twice, then I was either going to hit the media which would of killed us both on contact, instead I went through two mile markers and did another donut and car stalled out. I saw death at that moment. You just could not imagine. I thought I was going to have a heartattack, I remember letting out a scream but God was there with me.. I made it to the hospital to be there with my mother.  My mother did pas away 1 yr later after her surgury but God was ready to take her home because he had plans for her. She was more then ready even though she was only 68 she had no fear and she died not in pain and how many people can you say that had cancer and was not in pain. I know because I took care of her in her last month of her life. So what I am saying don't ever lose faith in God because he is real. He has blessed me so many times I just couldn't tell you. God will take care of these sick children. Sometimes it happens to bring parents back together and sometimes it happens for other reasons.
by on Jul. 14, 2007 at 11:04 AM
ok let me start by saying that before I could reply I had to walk away, and pray for the words to say to you that God wants you to hear. First off I want to remind you the God is a God of Love, and he has a plan for each of us. Next I want to try to address as many of your questions as I can....
1. sometimes you feel as though your faith is renewed and sometimes it is less, this is doubt and it is not of the Lord...It is sometimes called the Battlefield of the Mind...pray from renewed zest and fire for the Lord, and check out the Book Battlefield of the Mind.
2.your prayers...are never pointless and are always heard, sometimes we fall into the trap of thinking that because the answer wasnt what we thought it should be that the prayer wasnt actually answered.  they always are and all important not matter what.  pray for Gods will for these children and that his annointing be on anyone that they come in contact with and for their families that they may see his love.
3.The parents want you praying and God does to because maybe you are the only example of Christ that someone ever sees.
4. giving us more than we can handle as parents.... He doesnt go out and say this person can handle a sick baby...."he doesnt call the equipped he equips the called"
5. not a good or bad Christain.... you are a Christian a believer saved by Grace who has given your life to Lord...he forgives anyone who has asked Jesus in their heart and earnestly repents of their every sicko out there will be saved...only those that are repentant. this can be very hard to understand...for me too...but remember once we have given our lives than we are held accountable for our actions...everyone has to stand before God...I pray for you that your faith be restored and you have such an amazing passion for your children I believe that you could make a difference for these innocent angels....take up the Cross on their behalf and stand in the gap for them...use that passion to spread Gods amazing love.

I know I have written a lot but this is straight from God,seriously I have never typed this fast in my life!
Now I want to share a story with you....I have a dear friend and amazing Christian that has a very powerful testimony....Her and her husband tried for a long time to concieve a child...after many falled attempts and 4 misscarraiges they conceived a boy with IVF treatment...she was on bed rest the entire time and went into labor...midlabor her son died, she delivered a beautiful stillborn boy....Ryan...because of Gods Grace and her husband faith 6 people gave their life to the Lord in the delivery room that day...both of his parents, a sister, a friend, a nurse and an aid.  Praise the Lord....for one life many were saved...later they were blessed with two more beautiful children....this was not an easy time for her and her husband but now they understand the magnitude of Gods amazing love for will continue be in my prayers.
by on Jul. 14, 2007 at 3:22 PM
Have you ever read the book "When Bad Things Happen to Good People" ?  It is a book I read that helped me to understand some of my doubts.  It was written by a Rabbi, but is good for all faiths.
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