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How do I politely ask someone not to smoke?

Posted by on Sep. 1, 2008 at 1:57 AM
  • 35 Replies

Today I took my 2 year old daughter and my 7 year old brother to the park. There was this lady there with her 2 boys and my little brother instantly ran over to the merry go round with them. I don't have a problem with them socializing with anyone, as long as the other people don't mind. The lady let him on and started pushing it again and me and my dd went to the jungle gym. After a few minutes I seen a her light up a cigarette and continue pushing the kids. It upset me because even though she has the freedom to smoke, she didn't take my views into consideration. I don't like that my little brother was breathing in her second hand smoke and I really wanted to call him away from her. But I realized that since it wasn't a big deal to her, she probably wasn't doing it intentionally. Which is where I was torn about what to do. Luckily for me though, Josh got bored and hopped off a few minutes later and went to the swing.

What would be the proper way to ask this lady not to light up, or a discreet way to call the kids away if this problem happens in the future with anyone else?

I don't want to be rude and I fully support her right to smoke, just not around my kids. I don't want to cause conflict.



There would be no passion in this world if you didn't have to fight for what you believe..

by on Sep. 1, 2008 at 1:57 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mommyofcutness
by on Sep. 1, 2008 at 2:01 AM

As for asking her not to smoke, I don't really think that's an option at such an outdoor public place, even if it is around other kids.

But maybe just call the little guys over and say, "come play on this" or say "i wanna show you something" or something like that.

Like you said, I don't think she was really trying to disrespect you, it just may not be a conscious thought to her.

msmoody
by Her majesty on Sep. 1, 2008 at 2:01 AM

I don't think you can if she's outside. You might tell her you prefer not to have smoke so close to your kid, and then it would be up to you to take him elsewhere. She should be more considerate, but that's not always the case.

kat2611
by on Sep. 1, 2008 at 2:01 AM
I AM A SMOKER, BUT I WOULD NEVER SMOKE AT A PARK OR ANYWHERE CHILDREN ARE AROUND, THAT IS JUST NOT RIGHT. (AND NO I DO NOT SMOKE AROUND MY KIDS OR IN THE HOUSE). I SERIOUSLY WOULD HAVE JUST BEEN LIKE EXCUSE ME MISS, BUT COULD YOU PLEASE NOT SMOKE RIGHT HERE, THERE ARE A LOT OF KIDS AROUND. WHERE ARE YOU FROM CAUSE IM PRETTY SURE IN CA YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO SMOKE AT PLAYGROUNDS
trevorsbbygrl
by on Sep. 1, 2008 at 2:01 AM

asking her not to smoke in a public park would be completely rude and innapropriate.

if you dont want your children around that then move them. you dont have to be descreet, i am sure it wont hurt the ladys feelings

i would take my children to a different area of the playground

 

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Nymphaea
by on Sep. 1, 2008 at 2:01 AM

Oh sweetheart...sticky situation and be prepared for not nice comments....

She probably didn't see it as a huge deal because she was outside, open air and all that. I would try the approach of, "If you'd like, I could push the kids while you have a smoke break..." See if maybe that works.



           Don't like it? Don't live it.

babygirlsmom314
by Corinne on Sep. 1, 2008 at 2:02 AM

If it was me I would have called my kid away from her. 

collegemama
by on Sep. 1, 2008 at 2:02 AM

Teach your children about smoking and not to be within a certain distance of smokers or to come to you when they see someone smoking so you can direct them where to go. Or you can just call your kid and say I need to tell you something and the smoker probably won't think anything of it. Or you could politely say "I'm sorry miss my child is sensitive to smoke would you mind letting him off the merry go round?" And then just let her know that you don't mind playing in a different area....

BlushingBettie
by on Sep. 1, 2008 at 2:06 AM

It's SMILE TIME>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Okay.. I couldn't resist.......ahahahahaahaa

The smoking thing.. I live in Manhattan. There really aren't many places people can smoke here.  If I were you, I would just move my children to another spot. You don't have to give her a reason, just suggest another play spot to your children with some benign reasoning. That's the best way to avoid conflict.


                         

momgirlsx2
by on Sep. 1, 2008 at 2:07 AM

While I agree it is their right to choose to smoke, it is not their right to force their poison on to an innocent child. She should have had consideration for others. Personally I don't have a problem asking someone not to smoke around my kids and being point blank about it. I also don't have a problem asking my kids to come to me so I can "ask them a question", just to get them out of that situation without making a sceen. My oldest dd is asthmatic and doesn't need to be around that.

Proud mom of 2 girls.
Lezziemommy
by on Sep. 1, 2008 at 2:07 AM

Thanks, ladies. Those ideas are really great :):) I figured it'd be better not to have contact 'cause I wouldn't want her to think I'd be hinting around about her parenting or anything. I don't think she's a bad mom for smoking. I just don't want my kids exposed to it.



There would be no passion in this world if you didn't have to fight for what you believe..

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