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step families

Posted by on Jul. 29, 2007 at 6:57 PM
  • 5 Replies
I'm wondering does anyone else have difficulties dealing with step kids. I feel like such a bad person, me and dh fight all the time when his son is here. I don't want to say to much cuz I feel so bad and alone, I just wish our family could be one instead of two families every other weekend.
by on Jul. 29, 2007 at 6:57 PM
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DoriWA
by on Jul. 29, 2007 at 7:00 PM
Right there with you, except I have two step daughters! It is so hard to discipline them ....sometimes I feel a little like I am walking on egg shell, they are not mine, and they always go home and complain about how I made them do this and do that.... makes me feel like the bad stepmother....

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Pepsiluvver
by on Jul. 29, 2007 at 7:02 PM
LOL,
There will always be problems in a mixed family, I have had a mixed family for the last 8 years now. My problems are with the kids not my hubby. His kids treat me like dirt because they are jealous, but my hubby wouldnt dare fight with me over them, he usually takes my side. its tough when they have 1 set of rules at moms and they come to our house and dont like our rules.

~ A clean house is a sign of a broken computer ~

                         Pepsiluvver

m_ellingson
by on Jul. 29, 2007 at 7:06 PM
Our problem is not the child but with his moms family and her too. They just absolutely do not think that I am capable of taking care of Eddy. They call me "that woman" and refuse to accept that we are getting married next month and that I am involved with the child. I don't really think there is anyway to avoid it unless you just don't get involved in a blended family situation. There is a group on cafe mom just for step-parents. Maybe the women in that group could give you some better advice.
deemowe
by on Jul. 29, 2007 at 8:29 PM

Hi! My name is Dee and I am mom to 3 and stepmom to 2. I know how you feel. But let me tell you after 4 years of hard work and lots of tears I have accomplished what I set out to do and that is to be friends with the stepmom and the kids to love me. I could tell you lots of stories but I will tell you..I just swallowed hard and played the better person part and did what was right. Now 4 years later the bm and me are friends and we even chat from time to time. She tells me the kids talk more about me sometimes than their dad!! They have a lot of fun with me. I had to make a decision if some of the battles were worth fighting over or let go. I let go. I love my sk very much and they love me. Their mom told me recently that she is thankful for me because they could of had worse and that she knows I love them and that they love me. It feels good to know after all this time that we have gotten to this. The hard work, tears and love paid off!


Here is a group I am a part of feel free to check it out.


http://www.cafemom.com/group/2648

mamadee1971
by on Jul. 29, 2007 at 10:24 PM
I'm on both sides of the "step-hood", I like my step-mother, although she'll never replaced my angel mom, she's good people, and I get along well w/ my step-brother and step-sister. My step-daughter and step-son, doesn't live w/ us but they're always welcome to stay over or just visit.
I don't know what issues you and your DH, when it comes to his son, but you have to keep in mind that kids would always hoped that their biological parents would be together, and the thought of mom married to a man who's not dad or dad married to a lady who's not mom, is kind of hard on a kid,I know, I was there, but I had to accept the fact that both my mom and dad will always love me,unconditionally, and the step-family is not trying to cause any strife. But you're not a bad person, instead, sit down w/ both your DH and his son and discuss about all of your feelings. It may not have anything to do w/ your being the step-mom. Let your step-son know he's welcomed into your family.


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